Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single
She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.
You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.
The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.
Single on valentiens day?
- Thread starter Swede54
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Kaine
Senior Don Juan
Ahhh the good old days, if only I'd knew better back then.....
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
MrCode
Senior Don Juan
Anyhow, I'm a bit negative about Valentine's Day. Like Christmas I think it is over-commercialized and I'm just bugged by any obligation to get a gift or make a big deal. But I feel this way about most holidays, including my own birthday, so I guess that is just how I am.
I have a girl now whom I'm sure would want to be with me on Valentine's Day, but I don't like her much and don't want to lead her on any more than I already have. At the same time I'm not that motivated to find another girl because of V-Day, because again I think it is bullsh*t. But maybe not being in love makes me unromantic. Or it could be the DJ mindset that makes me unromantic (because I thought of myself as romantic in the AFC days.)
Oh well, screw Valentine's Day.
Which company do you work for?Otherwise... You are correct when saying that u are unromantic because u are not in love.... i use to be like that... i actually never WANTED to ever be in love, eventhough i was always a "romantic" guy when it came to girls, but in a sedusing way that is
But dont worry about your TRUE romantic side coming out one day when u DO fall in love, because when u are in love with a girl, being romantic becomes 1st nature Laterz...
Desdinova
Master Don Juan
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Those situations are always weird. I was the same way with one chick. I got a call from her "sister" (I don't know how she could've been this girl's sister because she had a british accent). Anyway, I got a message that the chick I was leading on was in the hospital. Personally, I couldn't have cared less if she had died. Reluctantly, I went to the hospital. I showed up empty handed, and spent 1 hour with her. Hell, that was enough for her to continue being led on.
If you want to know what happened in the end, she showed up at my regular hangout with another date to try and make me jealous. I didn't really give a 5hit and just ignored it and had fun. At the end of the night, she approached me in tears. That's when I figured enough is enough. The next day I put an end to it all.
Alpine
Master Don Juan
Dodging those Joberg ghettos on the way home are a real laugh.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.