"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Silliest/Funniest Pick-up lines

Flabbergasped?

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I will like to say that these are NOT for field usage. It's me trying to have a little fun on the interwebs XD. I'm going to post some idiotic lines that I've heard/used, and you can do the same. Be wary of using them in actual practice, because pick-up lines don't work.

I made this one, it rocks my box: "Do you work at Office Depot? 'Cus you're fine like .5 mm lead"

"Are your parents terrorists? Cus you are the bomb" <=== said this one to a paki girl just to see what reaction I could pull out, she just laughed.

"How about you sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up." <== Some girl actually did it, and I said "So, did you hear about the stock market?" A jolly moment.

"Are you tired? You've been running through my mind all day." <== So common, but probably the worst.

"Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven."

Another one I made up in those glorious AFC days: "The police will be at your house in 24 hours." <== They're usually curious as to what this is since it sounds so random. Then, I say, "You stole my heart, that's a felony around here."

Again, don't use these. They're for a good laugh only.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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dannowillbookem

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another one is

(looking at the screen) you look familiar... meh probably because i've seen a million threads just like this
 

Steg

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"Do you sleep on your back?"
Yes/No
"Can I?"

I'm Exo,btw. Lost my goddamn e-mail and password.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Alittude

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Do you raise chickens? Because you sure did raise my ****k
 

GloriouslyInsane

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Well i remember this one time that i overheard one of my buds saying to a girl "you're so sweet,your father must be a candymaker(well this is not the goddamn english word but anw you get the point)" , so i put a little twist to it and said "nah,she's SOOO beautiful her father MUST be a plastic surgeon",of course i didn'r know back then this was a semi-neghit.
 

MuayThai

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A good response for "I have a boyfriend" is...

"so I don't wanna **** your boyfriend"

I've used it a few times, with positive results.
 
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