I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Interesting. What do you think about this. This happened to me last week. I went to a recitiation where you get help from teacher aids, and I was putting in my answers on the computer. I didn't know one of the answers, so I asked a girl who was sitting on the pc near me who I've never seen before if she could help me.Originally posted by Mr. Latte
At the same time, some people are just touchy-feely. Especially if they feel secure around you, because you're a FRIEND. Not trying to rain on your parade, merely telling you to be careful about reading into things.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
heh that's funny, at the beginning of the term i had this girl sit next to me. i thought she was cool at first...then half an hr later, all she talked about was stuff relating to her. next day also.Originally posted by Mr. Latte
I'm of the school of thought that says that women are very much like men...so I'm going to say "asking a lot of questions." When you, a guy, aren't into a girl, you try to get her away from you. That involves short, frank answers, and not asking any questions unless you have to. If you're interested in a girl, you talk to her. The door swings both ways. If a girl isn't attracted to you in some way, she's not gonna go out of her way to have a conversation with you, much less ask you about yourself.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Originally posted by Pook
OMG, I feel like Anti-Dump. Rather than repeat what he said verbatim, I'll say it in a different way.
A woman has one weakpoint: it is the ACTION realm. She can flirt with you ALL DAY, she can look in your eyes ALL DAY, she can kino you ALL DAY, she can ask you questions ALL DAY, she can compliment you ALL DAY...
...and you will have no sure way of knowing she is interested.
Why? It is because all these things do not exist in the action realm, in woman's weak spot. Now, these things exist in woman's strong area, their communication realm.
Women only go into the action realm when they like a guy.
How do you know if the girl likes you? Easy! I say "Number" and she gives it to me. I go "Date" and she says yes. She keeps saying yes to my dates.
I used to care about 'signs'. Let us say that I had magic glasses that if you put them on, you could see every girl that likes you, is attracted to you, and so on.
Wouldn't you love wearing those glasses?
I got ahold of such glasses and I tore them from my face in disgust! Lots of women will like you. They will like you for different reasons. They will all show it a bit differently as every girl has a different personality.
OK, now you know girls like you. What are you going to do about it? Are you going to keep reading their 'signs'? Or are you going to go into the action realm? No, you will keep 'reading signs' to boost your ego that girls like you now. Women will despise you for your non-action status.
Stop checking to see if the girl likes you. If she's friendly to you, doesn't have a ring on her finger, she is fair game. Start asking if YOU like her, if YOU want her.
The answer should be, "Boy, do I!"
And THIS is the way how you get the woman of your dreams.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.