"The Kiss of Death Mistake"
You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
signs of high interest
- Thread starter ali_g
- Start date
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
LostbutFound
Don Juan
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- Feb 15, 2004
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- 45
Interesting. What do you think about this. This happened to me last week. I went to a recitiation where you get help from teacher aids, and I was putting in my answers on the computer. I didn't know one of the answers, so I asked a girl who was sitting on the pc near me who I've never seen before if she could help me.
She looked around 26-30. I'm 19 btw. Unfortunately, she wasn't in my class section. However, when she was telling me this, she started to get all touchy (touching my shoulder and arm). While doing this "kino," she was saying, "oh gosh, I'm not in your class, I'm sooo sorry." I didn't think much of it b/c like you mentioned some people are just touchy-feely. But now I'm not so sure. What do you think?
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Pimp-sicle
Master Don Juan
PIMP
The other ones are pretty inconsistent in my opinion. Many girls who are outgoing are just touchy-feely all the time and do not hold back. I've known shy girls who have been interested but won't be brave enough to touch me until we've gotten closer already. Just the other day, this married woman at my office grabbed at my arm unnecessarily twice while she was talking to me when she thanked me for helping her do something. Pretty normal to me and isn't a good sign of interest. Guess the context matters too. Kino is a good sign only if the girl has no particular reason to touch you but she does.
Eye contact has also been pretty inconsistent. All girls generally like to give you eye contact. They're masters at it. Unless she's repulsed by you, she'll look you in the eye.
I'm a bigger believer in gauging the ability of both of you to sustain each other's interest during a date. If you both are enjoying each other's company, that's usually the best sign.
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
heh that's funny, at the beginning of the term i had this girl sit next to me. i thought she was cool at first...then half an hr later, all she talked about was stuff relating to her. next day also.
other days she didint come to class. now we act like we dont know each other. she always has a b*tch look on her face.
so yea girls can be *****es sometimes. and this one was a *****. she just wouldnt shutup when we talk, loud as hell, and egotistic.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
A woman has one weakpoint: it is the ACTION realm. She can flirt with you ALL DAY, she can look in your eyes ALL DAY, she can kino you ALL DAY, she can ask you questions ALL DAY, she can compliment you ALL DAY...
...and you will have no sure way of knowing she is interested.
Why? It is because all these things do not exist in the action realm, in woman's weak spot. Now, these things exist in woman's strong area, their communication realm.
Women only go into the action realm when they like a guy.
How do you know if the girl likes you? Easy! I say "Number" and she gives it to me. I go "Date" and she says yes. She keeps saying yes to my dates.
I used to care about 'signs'. Let us say that I had magic glasses that if you put them on, you could see every girl that likes you, is attracted to you, and so on.
Wouldn't you love wearing those glasses?
I got ahold of such glasses and I tore them from my face in disgust! Lots of women will like you. They will like you for different reasons. They will all show it a bit differently as every girl has a different personality.
OK, now you know girls like you. What are you going to do about it? Are you going to keep reading their 'signs'? Or are you going to go into the action realm? No, you will keep 'reading signs' to boost your ego that girls like you now. Women will despise you for your non-action status.
Stop checking to see if the girl likes you. If she's friendly to you, doesn't have a ring on her finger, she is fair game. Start asking if YOU like her, if YOU want her.
The answer should be, "Boy, do I!"
And THIS is the way how you get the woman of your dreams.
Even if we could tell what women are thinking about us, it would destroy the fun in life, because we would end up building a personality based entirely of what other people think of us, instead of creating our own, based on whatever we want to think about ourselves.
I just heard this off of a radio, but thought I should post it here
Top 10 Signs she's NOT interested in you
1) She's not talkative to you (answers are yes/no and brief)
2) She keeps looking around, distracted (no eye contact)
3) She says she has to leave soon
4) She gets you to dance with her friends (usually less pretty!)
5) She says she is expecting someone
6) You offer her a drink and she refuses (girls love free drinks, so if they turn down a drink, they're turning you down too)
7) She talks about other men
8) She uses examples to hint lack of interest, like "I don't like short people...I don't like tall people" (and you're short..or tall...she's rejecting you by example!)
9) She hi-lights that she is very very busy
10) She says she has a boyfriend
It's pretty common sense, and I read them well...but I have the "problem" of getting good signs, then following up with the call or e-mail, and she turns me down. Then her interest goes up...so how many times should you be asking a girl out before you say NEXT?
Helter Skelter
Master Don Juan
This is a great post.
#1 because it is dead on accurate.
#2 because Pook managed to keep one of his posts under 10,000 words and I was able to finish it.
The reason I initially came to this site was because I met a girl who showed every sign of interest listed above except one. I couldn't get her to say yes to a date.
Moral of the story, no matter how much interest a girl shows, if she's not dating you, forget about it..
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.