"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Should you trust your gut feeling?

RestUnknown

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Long story short, couple of weeks back felt quite confident and just randomly texted a girl at work and it worked as in we were more talkative as before and she initiated conversations and texts as well.

But the last weeks all confidence is gone again due to certain personal issues, sending a text or talking to her (and even other girls) feels very far away.

But should you go with your gut feeling? Have you ever done anything against your gut feeling and it turned out completely opposite as what you thought would happen? When I felt confident I just did it because it felt right, but currently it doesn't, it would feel as coming across too needy, she'd probably respond with one word or something like that...
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Prettyboy Dee

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Been there done that, I know exactly how you feel.....when you feeling yourself your more bold and when your not feeling yourself you lose all your swagger lol......

Theres no trick to it, you just have to remain confident at all times and ignore any random thoughts or feelings that go against your reality, fake it till you make it, even when you dont feel confident, Act like you do, have the same behaviors a confident person would have even when you dont feel it.

Dont feel bad about it though because trust me when I tell you, your not the only one.
 

RestUnknown

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But won't your body language, whatever you say, etc... be showing your lack of self confidence and neediness if you act despite not feeling it and make matters worse?

Look this might just be an excuse to not act, but I don't want to become trapped in this vicious downward circle. It's probably a self protection mechanism or a huge fear of rejection.

But I must say that the times I did act when I didn't feel it, it didn't go so well. Conversations died immediately for example and this is another factor that makes me hold back when not feeling so good.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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gettinit

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Thinking back, I have done this quite a few times. In most cases, I fell back on "When in doubt, do nothing"
More times than not, it was the right way to go.

This thread makes me think of George!

 

Serenity

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Confidence is having a high degree of outcome certainty.
Or having a high degree of outcome independence, that's the option I pick. I can't always be so certain it will go the way I want, but I can always stop caring about it.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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lamath

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Thinking back, I have done this quite a few times. In most cases, I fell back on "When in doubt, do nothing"
More times than not, it was the right way to go.

This thread makes me think of George!

This


You dont feel it, dont go for it.
Follow your guts.

Forcing more interaction when not feeling it and with no confidence will only end in an awkward interaction with bad result..


Do nothing for now.
Act only if confidence and gut feeling comes back
 

Spaz

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You will never be successful lestening to your gut feeling and intuition. Because your gut or intuition likes to play it safe.

Plenty of successful people do in fact use their gut feelings or intuition to make a decision despite everything that's laid out.

Ask many successful businessmen and they'll tell you it's the key towards failure and success.

However intuitive feelings is cultivated through experiencing life, the more one has been through something successfully the more intuitive he is about certain things.
 

mrgoodstuff

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Plenty of successful people do in fact use their gut feelings or intuition to make a decision despite everything that's laid out.

Ask many successful businessmen and they'll tell you it's the key towards failure and success.

However intuitive feelings is cultivated through experiencing life, the more one has been through something successfully the more intuitive he is about certain things.
Gut is trigger off the reaction of the group or person were dealing with.
 

lamath

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Plenty of successful people do in fact use their gut feelings or intuition to make a decision despite everything that's laid out.

Ask many successful businessmen and they'll tell you it's the key towards failure and success.

However intuitive feelings is cultivated through experiencing life, the more one has been through something successfully the more intuitive he is about certain things.
I agree Guts is base on experience and observations, its a deduction that is not a sure thing but is most likely true.

For example if a women is seeking too much attentions, a experience person who have seen and delt with those kind of behavioir in the past will a have a gut feeling that she is trash.
 

MountainSlide

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Long story short, couple of weeks back felt quite confident and just randomly texted a girl at work and it worked as in we were more talkative as before and she initiated conversations and texts as well.

But the last weeks all confidence is gone again due to certain personal issues, sending a text or talking to her (and even other girls) feels very far away.

But should you go with your gut feeling? Have you ever done anything against your gut feeling and it turned out completely opposite as what you thought would happen? When I felt confident I just did it because it felt right, but currently it doesn't, it would feel as coming across too needy, she'd probably respond with one word or something like that...
I know what you’re talking about. Going against my gut feeling has never worked for me. I would recommend going and doing things that make you feel better. Eating healthy, gym, etc. Should clear up the confidence issue quite quickly.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

backseatjuan

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However intuitive feelings is cultivated through experiencing life, the more one has been through something successfully the more intuitive he is about certain things.
You are like always, as defninative as gut feelings in an afc, about that girl that looked at him. And as correct as an I love you to a girl who says she just wants to be friends.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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Long story short, couple of weeks back felt quite confident and just randomly texted a girl at work and it worked as in we were more talkative as before and she initiated conversations and texts as well.

But the last weeks all confidence is gone again due to certain personal issues, sending a text or talking to her (and even other girls) feels very far away.

But should you go with your gut feeling? Have you ever done anything against your gut feeling and it turned out completely opposite as what you thought would happen? When I felt confident I just did it because it felt right, but currently it doesn't, it would feel as coming across too needy, she'd probably respond with one word or something like that...
Work pickup is lazy as ****kkkk. If its McDonald's or burger king, whatever. If its your career, grow a pair and step up. Not at the workplace whereby if her entitlement is not matched or she doesn't get the ring, yiu end up in HR and life ruined.
 

BackInTheGame78

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Notice how you're actively ruining your own confidence with negative thinking. You're over analyzing by thinking you'll come across as needy. Perhaps you are, perhaps you're not, but what is for sure is that nothing will happen if you don't take any action.
Most people are their own worst enemy in regards to these things.
 

Spaz

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You are like always, as defninative as gut feelings in an afc, about that girl that looked at him. And as correct as an I love you to a girl who says she just wants to be friends.
Gut feelings or intuition is different from a winner to that of a losers.

Instinct is an accumulation of many many experiences that's lodged in one's subconscious.

The more successful a man is the more reliable is his instinct.

Likewise if a man had experienced lesser in life, constantly loses, he cannot depend on his instincts.

It's a double edge sword depending on the type of man.
 

mrgoodstuff

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You will never be successful lestening to your gut feeling and intuition. Because your gut or intuition likes to play it safe.

So if you not in the game or doing bad in it ya need to listen to a player who has success. Let him school you get your head right. You dont know what to think.
 

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

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