I've been seeing a woman for 2 months. We have shared some good times together and all seems well. She does not want an exclusive relationship and she told me that from the start. I was fine with such feelings 2 months ago. However, the more time I spend with her the more my feelings rise. I just don’t know how we can build any foundation without being exclusive at least for time being. I often think she does not know what she wants out of life or in my case, a relationship. Further, I often find myself wondering If I should walk away from her albeit her interest in me. Any thoughts?
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Should I walk?
- Thread starter WiseGuy99
- Start date
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Dude...she made it clear..VERY clear that she did not want an an exclusive relationship.
And what do you do? You fall in love with her.
How could that be possible? Well...because you treated the relationship as exclusive and NOT like the FWB it was supposed to be.
If you would have followed the agreement...the one falling in love would have been you.
Another thing..."I often think she does not know what she wants out of life " - Who cares? The important thing is understanding what YOU want out of life.
And what do you do? You fall in love with her.
How could that be possible? Well...because you treated the relationship as exclusive and NOT like the FWB it was supposed to be.
If you would have followed the agreement...the one falling in love would have been you.
Another thing..."I often think she does not know what she wants out of life " - Who cares? The important thing is understanding what YOU want out of life.
I agree.Blusher said:Obviously, you two seem to disagree on a crucial aspect of your relationship.
If you wanted her to be your FB, then fine, but from what i read that is not the case.
You want an exclusive relationship, she doesn't. Respect yourself, stand up for what you think is right and break up with her.
There are girls out there who want an exclusive relationship. Why stay with one that doesn't?
If she (your feelings for her) is preventing you from getting what you want (an exclusive gf) then yes, walk.
If not then use her for sex BUT you don't owe her anything and you should proceed on your terms not her's.
Don't try to change her or win her. This will only make you look needy and desparate in her eyes and she will end up liking you less.
If not then use her for sex BUT you don't owe her anything and you should proceed on your terms not her's.
Don't try to change her or win her. This will only make you look needy and desparate in her eyes and she will end up liking you less.
WestCoaster
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- May 8, 2003
- Messages
- 2,028
- Reaction score
- 31
One: You have oneitis.
Two: She's not the only gal you can have strong feelings for.
Three: Date as many as you can and let the cream rise to the top.
Four: While you're dating others, be seen by the current flakey gal so she knows you're the prize, not her.
Trust me, that's the pattern you should take, whether you're 20 or 40.
Two: She's not the only gal you can have strong feelings for.
Three: Date as many as you can and let the cream rise to the top.
Four: While you're dating others, be seen by the current flakey gal so she knows you're the prize, not her.
Trust me, that's the pattern you should take, whether you're 20 or 40.
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
That's some B.S. she is using to make you believe that crap. What in REALLITY is happening is this: (see quote below)She is actually a single mom and is afraid to be hurt again.
flexion_ said:She doesn't want a LTR. Clearly she is seeing other people and you aren't.