I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
If she's going to flake she'll latch onto this as her opportunity to flake. If she says it's okay then it's a fair bet she'll show up."Hey, I'll be about 5 minutes late. Is that okay?"
If they text you they're on their way then the date is still a go. If not, then do something else. If they don't text and do show then it's their own fault for not texting you like they were supposed to."I'm got a couple errands to run. Text me when you're on your way and I'll meet you blah blah blah."
You definitely wanna get that worm up before the date.Pr0lab said:Should I txt her before the date (as a worm up?)
I talked to her on Wed. the date is over the weekend
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
ye I ment warmdavewe said:You definitely wanna get that worm up before the date.
This message can be translated in a wrong way. As in; "i cant wait till our date is over, so i can do other things instead of hanging out with you".Pr0lab said:she actually a friend of a friend.
I believe it's not gonna be a flake, I want to txt to just worm her up, something like "can't wait for this day to be over! how is yours"
What d you think?
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
I'd say that's a bad way to frame the text. It'll put her on the defensive. It's hard to say if she's really interested though. One one hand if a woman wants to date you she'll take roadblocks out of the way, not put them up. And it sounds as if she's hiding behind the logistics so she doesn't have to date you instead of working to overcome them. On the other hand she did offer up alternatives, so that's a VERY good sign. I'd say try to find a middle ground, stick it out for the semester, then see where things stand.Pr0lab said:So this is the situation ...
She claims she has no time because of school, she sends txts and says sorry I can do it blah blah blah... the school is 2hr away so it's not an option to go on a date to her campus and she doesn't come back home often. but this is her last semester. so I am thinking to write something like "was nice to meet you. It was a bad idea to ask you out before school starts and I am also have no time now. I still think you're an interesting person to get to know.
but when fall semester ends you gonna take me out for a coffee for all the troubles"
On one hand she seams to be interested in the date but on the other she goes running(facebook) as opposed to go out with me
How is that? I just have no power in this situation at all, so I try to maneuver as much as I can to give it a chance when she's back.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.