When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
If she's going to flake she'll latch onto this as her opportunity to flake. If she says it's okay then it's a fair bet she'll show up."Hey, I'll be about 5 minutes late. Is that okay?"
If they text you they're on their way then the date is still a go. If not, then do something else. If they don't text and do show then it's their own fault for not texting you like they were supposed to."I'm got a couple errands to run. Text me when you're on your way and I'll meet you blah blah blah."
You definitely wanna get that worm up before the date.Pr0lab said:Should I txt her before the date (as a worm up?)
I talked to her on Wed. the date is over the weekend
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
ye I ment warmdavewe said:You definitely wanna get that worm up before the date.
This message can be translated in a wrong way. As in; "i cant wait till our date is over, so i can do other things instead of hanging out with you".Pr0lab said:she actually a friend of a friend.
I believe it's not gonna be a flake, I want to txt to just worm her up, something like "can't wait for this day to be over! how is yours"
What d you think?
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
I'd say that's a bad way to frame the text. It'll put her on the defensive. It's hard to say if she's really interested though. One one hand if a woman wants to date you she'll take roadblocks out of the way, not put them up. And it sounds as if she's hiding behind the logistics so she doesn't have to date you instead of working to overcome them. On the other hand she did offer up alternatives, so that's a VERY good sign. I'd say try to find a middle ground, stick it out for the semester, then see where things stand.Pr0lab said:So this is the situation ...
She claims she has no time because of school, she sends txts and says sorry I can do it blah blah blah... the school is 2hr away so it's not an option to go on a date to her campus and she doesn't come back home often. but this is her last semester. so I am thinking to write something like "was nice to meet you. It was a bad idea to ask you out before school starts and I am also have no time now. I still think you're an interesting person to get to know.
but when fall semester ends you gonna take me out for a coffee for all the troubles"
On one hand she seams to be interested in the date but on the other she goes running(facebook) as opposed to go out with me
How is that? I just have no power in this situation at all, so I try to maneuver as much as I can to give it a chance when she's back.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.