Should I text her first or wait it out?

L16

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Saw a girl that I used to hook up with at a wedding last weekend.

Chemistry was strong again, we hung out the whole night, had a great time, made out a bit.

Tried to go home together but logistics made that impossible.

She said, "I'll be home in a week", "I'll text you when I'm back, maybe :)".

Do I just shoot her a text to reinitiate and setup a plan for when she's back or wait this one out and let her come to me?
 

HaleyBaron

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Wait it out. Don't chase. Need to make her think you got things to do. Don't consider her a desperate thing to go after. Even if you did, it's a lose lose if you initiate.
 

BPH

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Just hit her up a day or 2 before she's supposed to be back to set up plans.

I disagree with Haley's thought to "wait for her to come to you". If you go radio silent for a week and wait for her to initiate she'll likely either forget or think you've lost interest.

I don't trust people to remember commitments they made more than a few days ago - let alone a woman you haven't seen in a while.
 

Divorced w 3

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Men initiate - you need to text her. I agree with the sentiment above, a couple days before. You should have even written / called her a couple days after seeing her given the timeline.
 

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Divorced w 3

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Chemistry was strong again….

Tried to go home together but logistics made that impossible.

She said, "I'll be home in a week", "I'll text you when I'm back, maybe :)".
Chemistry isn’t what you think it is… nobody who wants you leaves it to chance like the way she did just there… u would have been better off in the moment telling her ‘yeah you do that, can’t promise I’ll be able to get back to you right away’ with a wink and a smile- after hanging on you all night like that she tried to dominate you on the tail end there and she did … logistics? Do you have a car, a bank account to get a hotel room, a set of hands to put on her ass and slide into her …? / she doesn’t think you have options and be honest it doesn’t sound like you do… fake it til you make it, just do what we are telling you
 

HaleyBaron

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Just hit her up a day or 2 before she's supposed to be back to set up plans.

I disagree with Haley's thought to "wait for her to come to you". If you go radio silent for a week and wait for her to initiate she'll likely either forget or think you've lost interest.

I don't trust people to remember commitments they made more than a few days ago - let alone a woman you haven't seen in a while.
Let her forget. That was the point of my post. If she forget, you forget her and move on. He initiated already at the wedding. He now needs to see if she actually cares or not. It comes off needy if he texts her before she comes back. It shows he has been thinking about her, which is a bad thing in a long time meeting. Comes off needy and desperate.
 

BackInTheGame78

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What were wrong with the logistics?

Go get a hotel room. Problem solved.

You want something to happen, make it happen.

Grown men make things happen. Little boys cry about logistics.
 

HaleyBaron

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Men initiate - you need to text her. I agree with the sentiment above, a couple days before. You should have even written / called her a couple days after seeing her given the timeline.
No, screw her. She literally said this to him:

"I'll text you when I'm back, maybe :)".

"Maybe." No, we don't play that maybe cutesy sh*t. I'd be so mad at this that I wouldn't give her the time of the day. Then again, I have options.
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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"Maybe." No, we don't play that maybe cutesy sh*t. I'd be so mad at this that I wouldn't give her the time of the day. Then again, I have options.
Woah, dude, don't get emotional about what some ditzy bimbo texts to someone else.

When someone is texting immature manipulations, it's best to be unresponsive. I don't disagree with you, I'd pursue other interests and see if and how she texts me when she's back. If her next text appears mature, then I'd ignore what you called the 'cutesy sh*t', but if she plays games or throws up roadblocks I'd just text her she's obviously not ready yet for mature interaction and leave it at that.

sonic remember kings sleep 6-8 hours don't chat with your gf who cannot sleep.jpeg
 
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Clockwerk50

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It depends where you are in the seduction process.

If you already hooked up, as in slept with here, I would reach out.

If you haven’t slept together, I’d wait until she reaches out. She is the one coming back to your town. It’s similar to basic etiquette at a party: The one who arrives is the one who greets, and the one who leaves is the one who says goodbye.
 

The Diver

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"I'll be home in a week", "I'll text you when I'm back, maybe

".
Few months ago I asked a girl for a drink. She said " maybe ". I told her straight up "Thanks, but I'm not doing " Maybe girl". I moved on , and now with a much better one.

Your self dignity and self respect are much more important then a random Pu$$y. . Don't allow girls to play games with you, and don't allow yourself to participate in one.
 

New_Journey

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Saw a girl that I used to hook up with at a wedding last weekend.

Chemistry was strong again, we hung out the whole night, had a great time, made out a bit.

Tried to go home together but logistics made that impossible.

She said, "I'll be home in a week", "I'll text you when I'm back, maybe :)".

Do I just shoot her a text to reinitiate and setup a plan for when she's back or wait this one out and let her come to me?
Text her, stop stop over thinking.

Wait it out. Don't chase. Need to make her think you got things to do. Don't consider her a desperate thing to go after. Even if you did, it's a lose lose if you initiate.
They hooked up already, there is no point on waiting. Fbck what she thinks, alphas don't care what women think, if they wanna fvck, they go after it. The mere thinking of "oh I won't text her that way she won't think I'm desperate" will make you do desperate things.

If she replies with low interest, you moved on and that's it.

Every Alpha knows in order to get a woman you have to risk losing her.

Then again, I have options.
No you don't. Men with options don't care if she says no cause men with options know they're the catch, also men with options go after what they want.
Men with options don't get mad of what women say, cause men with options know that you need to ignore what she says and watch what they do.


Don't allow girls to play games with you, and don't allow yourself to participate in one.
Dating is a game, a game of two players. Men who don't play the game or don't know how to play the mating game end up in forums like this one. Incels are the only men who get mad a women for being women. Weak men want women to play by the "Mating Rules" that they made up in their delusional minds, that never exists.
 
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BackInTheGame78

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Few months ago I asked a girl for a drink. She said " maybe ". I told her straight up "Thanks, but I'm not doing " Maybe girl". I moved on , and now with a much better one.

Your self dignity and self respect are much more important then a random Pu$$y. . Don't allow girls to play games with you, and don't allow yourself to participate in one.
Exactly this...funny thing is when often times when a woman encounters a man who doesn't play those silly games or allow themselves to be toyed with it is your value in her eyes and she may start to actively pursue you.

Had a time when I invited a woman out for a drink and she said maybe and I told her "I don't do maybe so get back to me when you can give me a definitive answer."

Well apparently she likes that response since she asked me what I was up to later that night, invite me over to her place and w fvcked and I spent the night.
 

HaleyBaron

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They hooked up already, there is no point on waiting. Fbck what she thinks, alphas don't care what women think, if they wanna fvck, they go after it. The mere thinking of "oh I won't text her that way she won't think I'm desperate" will make you do desperate things.

If she replies with low interest, you moved on and that's it.

Every Alpha knows in order to get a woman you have to risk losing her.

No you don't. Men with options don't care if she says no cause men with options know they're the catch, also men with options go after what they want.
Men with options don't get mad of what women say, cause men with options know that you need to ignore what she says and watch what they do.
They hooked up a long time ago. Nor am I thinking of this from some alpha/ beta paradigm. Even if they ****ed before, his frame needs to remain. Yes, if I met my former **** buddy, I would test the waters, but it's up to her to do it, not him. This isn't about risking losing her cause he never owned her to begin with. That's the difference here.

And men with options do get upset at cutesy ****. Especially when we been through the journey of women's tests throughout our lives. You're also forgetting that this is text. In text, all you're sending to her are words. It's useless. It's better if he met her in person and chat her up. Inflections, physical presence, all of it needed to be "alpha". Texting is for women. Men are for physical communication. I've gotten more lays just kissing or pulling a woman into the bed rather than sitting there and talking. This is very important if theyve ****ed in the past.

And like a user already said, he should have hit it during the meeting. Now there's too much time past, so her mind can be elsewhere. Boring.
 

BaronOfHair

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Do I just shoot her a text to reinitiate and setup a plan for when she's back or wait this one out and let her come to me?
Whichever you prefer. Just don't bombard her with a few billion texts per day
 

Giovanni SouthSide

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What were wrong with the logistics?

Go get a hotel room. Problem solved.

You want something to happen, make it happen.

Grown men make things happen. Little boys cry about logistics.
The good ol’ striking while the iron is hot is old adage straight from the vintage playbook. It’s their for a reason. I got a hotel app on my phone with a debit card linked ready to book on tap if logistics fall and I make sure to put 2 bottles of red wine and a bottle of gran malo mexican tequila in a cooler in the trunk when I am aware of potential slays at a certain event im headed.

Op, you should have lead more. Women get off on commands from a corner of masculine confidence. Your spontaneous quick on your feet planning as you go would turn her on even more.
By the end of the week the other guy who did take initiative already took her to pound town and then some.

Let her touchdown when she gets in the area.
Call her in 8 days from when she told you that and set the tempo.(that’s if she don’t text you)
Men call. Youngsters text.
 
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The Diver

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Weak men want women to play by the "Mating Rules" that they made up in their delusional minds, that never exists.
Dating is a game, a game of two players

In the beginning, dating is a game of two players, until it's not.
At a certain point, you don't play the game anymore: YOU ARE the game.

At the beginning of your journey, you play the game for a few years ( because you don't know any better). You try different things, ( try and error). You learn, you get wiser, you get experience, you acquire knowledge, and you get better and better as time passes. Until you reach a point where you do not play the game anymore, you are not falling anymore for stupid random girls' manipulations, you operate only by your own defined rules and principles, from a point of knowing and appreciating your self-worth, self-dignity, self-respect and high self-esteem. ." This is the point where YOU become the game.

As one of the more successful posters on here used to say in the past: "She falls in line with my program or she's out, and when you reach this point, any attempt by girls to game you is laughable.
 

Hoodie

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Wait it out. Don't chase. Need to make her think you got things to do. Don't consider her a desperate thing to go after. Even if you did, it's a lose lose if you initiate.
Why do you need to make her think you got things to do, if you don't got things to do?

To pretend you are someone more important?

Women see through that **** quicker than anyone.

Better advice: Work to become someone that has **** to do, so that you don't have to pretend and be pathetic.
 
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