Should I text her before the date?

[Grifonculo]

So basically, I met this woman last Sunday. She was at the park; I approached her, and we started talking. The interaction felt smooth to me because she was really sweet, polite, and open to conversation. She even told me that she thought I was awesome, and we ended up sharing a kiss.


Afterward, we set a date for the following weekend, with time and place to go in this awesome restaurant. And we exchanged phone numbers.


Now, usually, once things shift to texting, women often flake out, in fact I hate texting. On the other hand, I'm concerned that if I don't message her for an entire week, she might lose interest.


So what should I do?

• Should I text her during the week?
• Should I just wait until the day of the date?
• Should I message her a few hours before meeting?
• Or should I simply show up at the date without texting beforehand?

PS: For the moderators, I was looking to post this thread on the "mature man" forum, can I ask to move it there?

 

[SW15]

Try not to leave so much time between arranging the date and the actual date itself. 2-3 days is a decent gap. Beyond that, there's a high risk of a flaking.

I dislike texting as well. When I leave 2-3 days between arranging a date and the date itself, I will only text her on the day of the date.

 

[BPH]

@Grifonculo my suggestion is to mirror.

If she texts, you text. If she stops, you stop.

I would confirm the date the day before, with a follow-up a couple of hours in advance.

 

[The Duke]

I would give her a quick call Wednesday or Thursday.

I've had girls in my past that I waited a week or more to talk to and they assumed I was no longer interested.

 

[Clockwerk50]

In my experience, if they have high interest, they will text you everyday until the date comes. They’d do anything in their power so you do not go anywhere. They will also re-ask you if the date is still happening.

If she doesn’t text you, and depending how long you do the meet ups in advance, I would check in with her once before it happens. Then the day off in the morning to confirm if she is down to meet. Sometimes communication and attention is key to avoid a flake.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

It depends...if you have ghosted her after setting up the date, it isn't a smart move.

 

[Grifonculo]

It depends...if you have ghosted her after setting up the date, it isn't a smart move.

what do you mean? You think after setting the date i should text her? In the meain stream of the dating, I always see people saying "use texting just for date", "donìt try to create a connection by texting"

 

[BillyPilgrim]

what do you mean? You think after setting the date i should text her? In the meain stream of the dating, I always see people saying "use texting just for date", "donìt try to create a connection by texting"

Use texting to create a light connection and/or to maintain one. Going completely radio silent isn't going to help if the date is a week out. You can go radio silent if you have a very strong initial interaction and the date is soon thereafter.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

what do you mean? You think after setting the date i should text her? In the meain stream of the dating, I always see people saying "use texting just for date", "donìt try to create a connection by texting"

Good luck with that. Be a human not a robot

 

[Grifonculo]

of course, this morning I sent her a message, and of course she canceled the date, telling me she can't met me.

 

[CornbreadFed]

I haven't been flaked/ghosted on in years and basically you have to talk to them and make them comfortable enough to meet you. If she isn't being receptive back without a legitimate reason, then that's a cause for you to cancel on her and see if she wakes up. The go be mysterious/strict rules method will just amount in constant flakes. Think about it, you two are both investing time, money, and energy in to meeting each other, so she needs to know if you are worth taking that risk for. Since you are pvssy starved you don't care, but she is not starving for just dvck though. If you aren't making her comfortable and excited, then some other guy is. Last, if you do not like talking to women then why are you dating them. Have you considered that you might actually like men and should swing that route??? I am just saying lol.

 

[Grifonculo]

I haven't been flaked/ghosted on in years and basically you have to talk to them and make them comfortable enough to meet you. If she isn't being receptive back without a legitimate reason, then that's a cause for you to cancel on her and see if she wakes up. The go be mysterious/strict rules method will just amount in constant flakes. Think about it, you two are both investing time, money, and energy in to meeting each other, so she needs to know if you are worth taking that risk for. Since you are pvssy starved you don't care, but she is not starving for just dvck though. If you aren't making her comfortable and excited, then some other guy is. Last, if you do not like talking to women then why are you dating them. Have you considered that you might actually like men and should swing that route??? I am just saying lol.

It's not that I don't like talking to women — it's that I don't enjoy doing it with most of them. For example, with this one girl, I was having a good time. She was open, and she also made an effort to keep the conversation going. Most of the women I talk to seem to have narcissistic traits; many of them try to manipulate me into thinking I have to do what they want, approaching them when they want, and if I don't they get upset. Since I’m quite masculine, I attract a lot of them, but I often feel blocked by this unpleasant behavior. That’s what makes me reluctant to talk to most women. Open and kind women are so rare, and whenever I approach someone I meet on the street, at the gym, or in a bar, I become very defensive and feel uncomfortable. I usually end my day feeling frustrated and resentful. This has become a pattern for quite some time. Even though I’ve made a lot of progress in building my self-confidence, I don’t really see women I genuinely like for who they are anymore — I see most of them as manipulative, narcissistic individuals.

 

[BaronOfHair]

So what should I do?

Text her once between now and the next time you all meet in peron

 

[nismo-4]

So basically, I met this woman last Sunday. She was at the park; I approached her, and we started talking. The interaction felt smooth to me because she was really sweet, polite, and open to conversation. She even told me that she thought I was awesome, and we ended up sharing a kiss.


Afterward, we set a date for the following weekend, with time and place to go in this awesome restaurant. And we exchanged phone numbers.


Now, usually, once things shift to texting, women often flake out, in fact I hate texting. On the other hand, I'm concerned that if I don't message her for an entire week, she might lose interest.


So what should I do?

• Should I text her during the week?
• Should I just wait until the day of the date?
• Should I message her a few hours before meeting?
• Or should I simply show up at the date without texting beforehand?

PS: For the moderators, I was looking to post this thread on the "mature man" forum, can I ask to move it there?

Thread moved.

Now, it all boils down to what options she has at the time you ask her. Don't just go to the venue and assume she'll show up, cuz you'll look like an ass and she'll be giving hers up to Tyrone. She'll tell you she had a relative in the hospital.

Her interest in you is key. Competition is key. You need to be her best option, and you don't know who else is in any of her 5 inboxes. Damn if you do damn if you don't. Call before date, she rules you as thirsty with no options. Don't call, she rules you as disinterested. Hopefully you made an impact on her emotions and got her juices flowing.

Set up dates no more than 2 days out.

 

[SW15]

of course, this morning I sent her a message, and of course she canceled the date, telling me she can't met me.

She had low interest in general. I'm impressed you did a park approach and arranged a date.

A lot of dates arranged from technology are cancelled before they happened. Dates arranged from real life approaching are somewhat more likely to be kept but still suffer from a high flake rate.

 

[Grifonculo]

She had low interest in general. I'm impressed you did a park approach and arranged a date.

A lot of dates arranged from technology are cancelled before they happened. Dates arranged from real life approaching are somewhat more likely to be kept but still suffer from a high flake rate.

Thanks — I’m making a bit of progress, but I’m still a newbie when it comes to seduction. The paradox is that 7 or 8 years ago, before my long-term relationship, when I first started approaching women without knowing much about human nature, I actually had a lot more success. I could approach groups of people without any problem and just have fun. I easily attracted some cute women.
Now, even with much more awareness, knowledge, and experience, I feel like I’ve lost that skill... Maybe it just takes time. But I think all the redpill content I consumed messed up the naive, more innocent way I used to see women — and I developed a bit of resentment that’s been hard to deal with, although I’m working on it.
Back then, I even had a girl who brought me to her apartment for sex. I think the difference was that I didn’t care so much about the outcome — I was just having fun.
One thing that still helps me is this natural aura I seem to have that attracts women. It’s like something inside me comes out and draws them in. These days, I’ve learned how to project status, and as an introvert, I come across as mysterious — which helps — but there’s also this energy that sometimes just flows, and when it does, everything feels smooth and women respond really well to it. I don’t know exactly what it is, but when it shows up, I can just walk around and women seem to follow.
My biggest problem is building connection through conversation — I really struggle with that part.