"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Should I send this e-mail to her?

skinnydart

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So I need u guy's opinion on something...

I met a girl towards the end of one of my classes, good ec, but it was the last day, and after each person finished the final they left, so I didn't have a chance to stop her or anything.

I overheard her tell the prof that she was staying on campus during the break, and so am I, so I thought seeing there's no one else to hang with during the break it would good to get together or something.

I probably won't run into her seeing that we both work in different places over the break but I looked up her e-mail from the online class roster and was going to send her this but didn't want to come across stalking-like or anything. She probably doesn't remember my name but she'll probably be able to put the e-mail to my face and know who I am:
________________________________________
Hey Rakel,

This is Skinny Dart (from Fabio’s class). Hey so if you’re going to be here over the break and want to hang sometime let me know.

Take it easy,

Skinny Dart
AIM: skinnydart
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Skweints

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I would avoid trying to send an e-mail to her if you didn't get her e-mail address DIRECTLY from her. Find out where she works, and "just so happen" to show up... meaning, have a reason in the back of your mind just in case she asks, but don't "offer" the information. If she recognizes you and gets your attention, get her e-mail address and phone number... if she doesn't recognize you, then be like "Oh hey! I remember you!" and wait for her to look at you funny. "Yeah, you're in so and so's class. I'm blah blah!". Then just follow up with "Hey, I'm in a hurry, can I get your phone number? I'm stuck here on my break, and I want to meet someone new to hang out with." She won't say no. Then get the hell outta there. "Hey, I gotta go. I'll call ya sometime."

If you DO decide to take the e-mail route, I wouldn't "ask"... I would suggest. "Hey, remember me? I was wondering if you were gonna be on campus over the break! If you are, we should go do <activity> sometime. Let me know." Chances are, if you ask if she wants to do something, she'll say no. If you tell her to do something, she will be less resistant... girls don't know what to do when you tell them to do something.
 

skinnydart

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I agree with you, but the only thing I heard was that she had to work over break, so she was staying in town, but I have no way of finding out where she works or I would definently do that.

updated...
_________________________
Hey Rakel,

This is Skinny Dart (from Fabio’s class), remember me? So I was wondering if you were gonna be on campus over the break. If you are, we should hang sometime; maybe go see a movie or something. Let me know!

Take it easy,

Skinny Dart
AIM: skinnydart
 

Skweints

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Much better. Sounds more confident and keeps you in control. You could even replace the "remember me?" with "Hey, I'm Skinny Dart (from Fabio's class!). I know you remember me, how could you forget!? (You know, the hot lookin dude in the front row.)" I don't know how well you've gotten to know her, though... Then again, you've got nothing to lose... I'd say balls to the wall. ;)


You wouldn't happen to know any of her friends, would you?
 

MinCO

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take out the "remember me"? part. makes you sound unsure of yourself. She's either going to remember you or not.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Jariel

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Personally, I'd send an email asking an ice breaker question first, such as something about the class...
________________________________________

Hi Rakel,

I was browsing the class roster and I recognised your name. I was hoping you would know <when Fabio's next class will be/the word limit of our latest assignment/other class-related question>?

Thanks,

Skinny Dart
________________________________________

It's brief and casual and doesn't put either of you on the spot. If you receive a reply, perhaps you can start chatting, throw in the question "What are you doing over the holidays?" and if/when she tells you, this is where you can suggest getting together.
 

skinnydart

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The class is over, so I'm not sure any of those will fly, but I like that last idea too, I just need to think of a better exuse to e-mail her.
 

Climax

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Jariel said:

Personally, I'd send an email asking an ice breaker question first, such as something about the class...
yes.... this will be a good idea because it would seem kinda freaky that this guy that i dont even talk to suddenly sms's her and ask her if she wanted to hook up. So an "ice breaker" question would be appropriate... and then when u DO ask her if she wants to do something, rather ask her in person, this will show ur confidence etc...

I would write a longer responce, but i am on my way out...

Goodluck.. ;)
 

Climax

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Dont e-mail her! sms her if u want, what do u need to email her for? and like it was mentioned in a previous post, dont email her if u neva got her email address from HER... u might just come out as a stalker...

Just a though:rolleyes:

Laterz...
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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Phoenix_of_the_ashes

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" By thinking that you must complete the job you will run out of time. By considering things like how many men the enemy has, time piles up; in the end you will give up. No matter if the enemy has thousands of men, there is fulfillment in simply standing them off and being determined to cut them all down, starting from one end. You will finish the greater part of it."

Thats from an old japanese book called the Hagakure, it was written by a samurai during a time when the samurai basicly started going extinct.

Its a great quote and its one of the things I try to make a part of myself everyday. Basicly dont hesitate, just act, act before your own doubt starts to hold you back from what you want. Just send the mail, even if you dont succed its ok, you tried and thats a noble thing also.
 

skinnydart

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What is sms?

Her e-mail address is the only thing of hers I have, I don't have her cell number (I'm assuming sms means text messenging).

I guess I could just as easily look up the number in her dorm room, but that will come across even more stalking-like than an e-mail, right?
 

Climax

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...

SMS = Short Messaging System...

And if u do not have either of her email address or her cell number from HER, then i suggest u go up to her, start up a conversation, and then get her cell number from her. She will respect u more for doing that, and the chances of her seeing u as a stalker will be eliminated.
 

Climax

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{{{{ -^ lol ^- }}}}

Originally posted by Phoenix_of_the_ashes
Be a samurai, not a ninja.
why not be both?:p
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Phoenix_of_the_ashes

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Thats impossible, a samurai fights on the open field and fearlessly strives to cut down all his foes with a load scream, a ninja is a spy and assasin who remains in the shadows untill you strikes down his mark with a silent and quick swipe.
 

Climax

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Nothing is immposible.
 

Desdinova

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This is funny. You have one-itis for a girl who looked at you once. All the women out there you can approach, and you have to develope one-itis for one you've never even spoken to. Unless you approach her directly, you're going to be classified as stalker material. This one slipped through your hands, big deal. Go find another woman. They're plentiful.
 

Sexy_Malibu

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I don't think he has one-itis. It just so happens that he's going to be there for the break and so is she. Most people go home for break, so it's okay to have one-itis in this case... she's probably the only girl he even somewhat knows on campus.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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