"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Should I let my dog die a virgin?

O

Obsidian

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Well, I don't think this dog needs an LTR necessarily. You can always let him pimp the hor dogs. A chihuahua may be a bit of a stretch, tho.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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WhiskeyRox

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The reason your dog is a virgin is because HE'S GAY! Brittany spaniels? Get a MAN'S DOG, like a german shepard or a rottweiler! Who cares if your prissy little pansy spaniel gets laid. Too many worthless yappy dogs in the world anyway. Anything under 45 pounds is a rodent.
 
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Francisco d'Anconia

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F

Francisco d'Anconia

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WhiskeyRox said:
The reason your dog is a virgin is because HE'S GAY! Brittany spaniels? Get a MAN'S DOG, like a german shepard or a rottweiler! Who cares if your prissy little pansy spaniel gets laid. Too many worthless yappy dogs in the world anyway. Anything under 45 pounds is a rodent.
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Yeah, everyone knows that Spaniels are emo.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Jariel

Jariel

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Whoa there I know it's hard to find decent women, but surely things aren't that bad! Whatever you are thinking of doing to your dog or having it do to you is between you, him and animal rights movements, but give it some thought first! :)

Just kidding. I had a good laugh from this thread.
 
L

Last Man Standing

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The llittle hor chihuahua dug a hole and was in my yard and my dog was all over her - I think she's too small for him - he'll probably split her in half!! I picked the little hor up and shot her over the fence and the look on my dog's face was as if he wanted to kick my ass!!

I put boards along the fence to keep the little horny dog out and went to wash my car - after I finished I went to the backyard and she was there again with a seemingly satisfied look on her face and all starry-eyed!! I quickly looked at my dog - he was chilling out on the bench smoking a cigarette and had a martini in his paw - I was like ohhhhhh no!!!! Did they do it?

I guess I have to wait and see if she has an orange and white spaniel mix - how many months is that?
 
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Obsidian

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haha, you shouldn't be assuming that your dog is so innocent
 
C

CLOONEY

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Last Man Standing said:
The llittle hor chihuahua dug a hole and was in my yard and my dog was all over her - I think she's too small for him - he'll probably split her in half!! I picked the little hor up and shot her over the fence and the look on my dog's face was as if he wanted to kick mt ass!!

I put boards along the fence to keep the little horny dog out and went to wash my car - after I finished I went to the backyard and she was there again with a seemingly satisfied look on her face and all starry-eyed!! I quickly looked at my dog - he was chilling out on the bench smoking a cigarette and had a martini in his paw - I was like ohhhhhh no!!!! Did they do it?

I guess I have to wait and see if she has an orange and white spaniel mix - how many months is that?
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aaaaaaaaaahahahahaahahahahahahaahahahahhahhaha. That is some funny sh*t!!!!! hahaahahahahaha.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Raikojo17

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lol nice fransico. that was hilarious

but LMS i can help you out man. my dog is a virgin and not a hor dog. i never let her go out anywhere alone. i have to be with her. and if she escapes i chase her down. she's a good little angel who wont give it up until marraige

she'd be perfect for your dog, if he likes taller women. she's hot too:up:
 
K

Kid Quick

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Since you have a purebred you could charge a stud fee for breeding. Make some money and give Rover some excitement.
 
penkitten

penkitten

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dude, call the vet and get him on the stud list.
someone will call and tell you they want to breed their spaniel with yours. tell them how much your fee is, it is usually whatever a puppy costs.
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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