You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
dude? im not an afc TRUST me....zinc64 said:First of all you are an AFC at best and a ***** to boot. You are in her bed and both very drunk and you don't want to take advantage of the situation???? Dude she wanted to **** you or at least everything else. If she let's you in her bed you are NOT taking advantage of her unless she is puking her guts out everywhere. Drop this lame ass chivarly mentality because it's all fake to begin with and don't treat her like she is some fragile little doll.
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
theguy351 said:dude? im not an afc TRUST me....
im sorry, but im not going to **** a girl when were both drunk and i actually like her...and its not like we didnt do anything...we made out and i was feelin her up all over the place.
if it was a hit it and quit it, hell yeah. but i can see myself dating this girl.
well if were sober and i did that...yes id think the same thing, but its cause we were drunk and we were doing stuff but then she wanted me to just hold her and we fell asleep sozinc64 said:That's your problem. You are placing her high up and you don't even realize it. Sorry if my original post sounded very harsh, but why should you treat this girl different than any other? **** her and continue to see her. Because you want to date her, you are giving her a special status, therefore giving her power without even realizing it. Trust me man. Treat every girl the same until you are in a serious relationship with one. No one is special until proven otherwise.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
yes I would take this advice seriously as well. If you build her up you only going to get hurt in the end. Try to remain emotionally detached at least until you actually become exclusive.zinc64 said:That's your problem. You are placing her high up and you don't even realize it. Sorry if my original post sounded very harsh, but why should you treat this girl different than any other? **** her and continue to see her. Because you want to date her, you are giving her a special status, therefore giving her power without even realizing it. Trust me man. Treat every girl the same until you are in a serious relationship with one. No one is special until proven otherwise.
Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.
I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.
Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules. Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.
hey yeah I know what you mean. Same thing has happened to me multiple times. So now I try to not like them so much. I mean over the years I've realized I've started to like girls for no other reason than that I thought she liked me. So I had built her up and when I got shot down it hurt that much more. So I've gone through a sort of changing mindset when it comes to dating. I don't over-analyze because I don't let myself fall madly in love with a girl I don't know that well. It makes life less stressful.theguy351 said:yeah im going to try to...thats just always been my problem....usually i dont like the girls enough ot date them, so those girls i just hook up with and then act non chalant the next day and ****.....when its a girl i actually like i always over analyze everything
im sorry, if i like a girl im not gonna bang her wen shes drunk, unless she wanted to......its not like i was jus lookin for *****.snowdog said:Dude what the ****, you should had ****ed her when she was drunk
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
lol ur judging the situation incorrectly....i guess its hard for you when it's online.snowdog said:Yea whatever. She was lying IN BED with you and WILLING to have sex with you. How many more hints do you need? SHE WANTED YOU TO **** HER. And you didn't. Look where you are now, you can't even ask her number. It perfectly normal that things are weird between you two because you basicly rejected her without realizing it (Other members, correct me if i'm wrong here).
Listen to me dude, and listen good. Being nice and a 'proper' guy never got me laid, ever. Follow your BALLS. You had a boner there didn't you? Well it didn't pop up for nothing, pal. Really, **** being a proper guy. I wanna get laid and one thing i learned throughout all those lonely years: being nice and proper is NOT the way. The only times when i got to make out with girls was when i was stoned all the time and didn't give a sh*t about anything, and when i was really really drunk once. Every girl, no matter how ugly or stupid she was, i rejected i regret. It's simple chemistry. My body told me to go for it (boner) but my mind told me no. When it comes to girls, your balls are smarter then your brain. On top of that, you had a GREAT girl in your bed and you rejected her. I hate to tell you this, because you seem like a genuinely good guy.
But you ****ed up.
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.