"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

Should I do this?

Desdinova

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 15, 2004
Messages
11,680
Reaction score
4,877
So, I've got a child-free Friday night coming up in a couple of weeks. This is a rarity, and I'm hoping to make the best of it. Me and my gf have never gone out and got drunk together, and this is what we're wanting to do. She'll finally be spending the night :)

The place we plan on going to is about a 10 minute walk from my house. We can easily go there and stumble home, no driving required. Sounds great, right?

The problem is last gf hangs out there regularly on Friday night. There is no doubt that she's going to be there. She was pretty crazy about me and I dumped her two months ago for my current gf. I talked with one of me and my ex's mutual friends last night and apparently she's still really pi5sed at me.

On the plus side, when I've been in situations like this before, the dirty looks and evil stares from the unhappy party give the new girl an energetic shot of IL. Women love to be envied, and the fact that someone hates her for winning The Prize makes her feel absolutely grand.

I don't think anything truly awful can happen from this situation, but I figured I'd get some input from you guys.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
16,797
Reaction score
10,027
Desdinova said:
She was pretty crazy about me and I dumped her two months ago for my current gf.
Do you mean girlfriend girlfriend or "one of my plates"? I was wondering if I missed one of your posts.

You know the girl and the venue better than we do. As long as you don't think anything truly awful can happen, I don't see a reason to avoid the place. If she was that crazy about you, she might try to put on a show for you, stir up some sh!t, or maybe even leave. I agree it could be interesting for the new girl/create some drama.

For me, I'd probably be more comfortable someplace else where she isn't at. But I guess the 10 minute walk makes it the best place.
 

Desdinova

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 15, 2004
Messages
11,680
Reaction score
4,877
zekko said:
Do you mean girlfriend girlfriend or "one of my plates"? I was wondering if I missed one of your posts.
I was with her for nine months. She wanted to move in, eventually get married, and wanted to have kids. Although I made it clear from the get-go that I didn't want any of that, she still persisted. She's 34 with an agenda and is a medicated bi-polar. She was pretty pissed off when I ended it.
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
16,797
Reaction score
10,027
Desdinova said:
I was with her for nine months. She wanted to move in, eventually get married, and wanted to have kids. Although I made it clear from the get-go that I didn't want any of that, she still persisted. She's 34 with an agenda and is a medicated bi-polar. She was pretty pissed off when I ended it.
I do remember that. I was actually asking more about your new girlfriend. Is this the 22 year old?

If this forum is correct, she should be able to find some AFC to settle down with. Though that's probably little comfort for losing the real catch.

You sound like you've got about the same attitude as George Clooney. After his first (and only) marriage failed, he was done with it and said he wouldn't do it again.
 

Pair A Dice

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 22, 2011
Messages
163
Reaction score
3
Yes, you should.

You're a man and you live YOUR life. Who cares that she is there (if she is there) at the same time.

If she confronts you, deal with it how you would and move to another place in the bar.

Your only worry is that it might get uncomfortable for your girlfriend, but at the same time, if she's getting drunk, you could see her whoop some a$$.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

Read more...

taiyuu_otoko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 10, 2008
Messages
5,776
Reaction score
4,880
Location
象外
Do you wanna have a stress free fun night out without injecting any unneeded and unpredictable drama?

Take a taxi to another place.
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
16,797
Reaction score
10,027
Pair A Dice said:
Yes, you should.

You're a man and you live YOUR life. Who cares that she is there (if she is there) at the same time.
taiyuu_otoko said:
Do you wanna have a stress free fun night out without injecting any unneeded and unpredictable drama?

Take a taxi to another place.
These are two conflicting, and yet perfectly correct pieces of advice, IMO.

Do you want to go with the alpha "I go wherever I want, change my plans for no woman" or just want a peaceful night? Pick one.
 

Zunder

Banned
Joined
Jun 6, 2009
Messages
897
Reaction score
66
Whats the big thrill in going out getting drunk together?
 

Desdinova

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 15, 2004
Messages
11,680
Reaction score
4,877
zekko said:
Do you want to go with the alpha "I go wherever I want, change my plans for no woman" or just want a peaceful night? Pick one.
The way I see it, the night isn't about my ex (although she may want to make it that way). It's about me going out and having fun at a place I like to go.

Whats the big thrill in going out getting drunk together?
I enjoy it once in a while and so does she. I'm usually the one who has to stay sober because I'm driving. On that night, I won't have to.

Not only that, getting your woman drunk can tell you a LOT about her personality. If she turns into a drunken wh0re, she gets dumped.
 
Top