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Should I break up with my gf (30) for being a brat?

vanballmoos

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Okay so it’s my girlfriends 30th birthday in a few days and unfortunately my grandfather got really sick and my mom wants me to come home just in case he passes away. She’s back in the office full time so she can’t come with me.

A little backstory, admittedly I haven’t been the best boyfriend. I’ll just get angry and shut down and won’t talk to her for weeks. Well I did this about a month ago. She called me to ask what sides she should bring to dinner. I don’t know why but I just thought she had attitude so I just hung up on her and didn’t talk to her for about 3 weeks. I contacted her last week and I was asking her what she wanted for her birthday. Then I found out I would be missing her birthday because of my grandfather. I left yesterday morning to go be with my family (they live several states away). Before I left she said, “you haven’t put any thought into my birthday have you? You’re asking me what I want days before so like everything else you just haven’t put in any effort.” I told her I couldn’t help that I can’t be here to which she replied, “she said it’s not that, you have to be with your family so you can’t help that. It’s that you disappeared for weeks so I expected you to have put in a lot of effort and if you’re asking me days before what I want that means you haven’t thought about this. It’s about effort.”

She called me later to apologize saying that she’s harboring a lot of resentment but she shouldn’t have brought it up because I should be focusing on being with my family right now.

I respect the apology but she was just a brat for getting upset about her birthday when I have someone that I care about dying. It was incredibly selfish. Now it has me questioning how things would be with her long term. Should I be concerned?
 

stringpuller

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I don’t know why but I just thought she had attitude so I just hung up on her and didn’t talk to her for about 3 weeks.
Kind of harsh reaction to sides? Attitude? Was she yelling at you like a psyco?
Just from what you wrote here i would think that you shouldnt worry about it because you keep that up she's going to replace you. Ofcourse i don't know what she said to you with "attitude"
 

Spaz

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Women get upset over little things, in a single day her hormones will make her go from sad-angry-happy-joyous-sad-angry-happy and joyful again - in a nutshell that's how things works with women.

It would make them say things that they will regret later but at that particular moment in time, it would completely make sense to her.

For this reason alone, I would prefer to see their actions rather then what's spoken because actions speaks of intent - good or bad, while words are merely words without action.
 

EyeBRollin

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You’re the one that fvcked up OP. Frankly, I’m surprised she stuck around after you ghosted for three weeks. Would you stick around if she did that to you?

To be honest if I were in your shoes I would apologize to her, give her a very small birthday gift. Then ask her to give you some time to handle your family situation and you will do a full birthday celebration soon as it settles.

Come on guys. Game doesn’t mean treat girlfriends like garbage.
 

SW15

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You’re the one that fvcked up OP. Frankly, I’m surprised she stuck around after you ghosted for three weeks. Would you stick around if she did that to you?

To be honest if I were in your shoes I would apologize to her, give her a very small birthday gift. Then ask her to give you some time to handle your family situation and you will do a full birthday celebration soon as it settles.
This
 

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Cappo Yung

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I agree with EyeBRollin-

I think she should be the one considering the dumping, with all due respect my friend.

I think at the time of your post, your emotion was on high.

This what I would do, I would start with rectifying any underlying issues with her as soon as family matters is over, then take it from there.

After 3 weeks of ghosting and she still picks up your call, she seems like a keeper, but without addressing pass or current issues, things might not lost much longer.
-Based on the little information you’ve provided- those are my thoughts-

Good luck my friend
- Yung
 

FlexpertHamilton

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HyenaPrince

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The question is, why haven't you talked to her for 3 weeks?
 

FlexpertHamilton

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You sound like you have serious maturity issues and you are acting like a douchebag bro. My advice to her would be to drop you ASAP she deserves better. Sorry.
That type of comment is the type of comment a simp would make. Just sayin'.
 

BeExcellent

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Advice from the old lady:

She’s the brat? I think not. YOU are the brat. As others have said you ghosted for 3 weeks and she still took your call. Had I been in her shoes you’d have been history already. You don’t blank your partner for 3 weeks and then resurface like nothing happened.

Would you tolerate that? Somehow I doubt you would.

So you are the one with amends to make, not her. If your history in the past has been to treat her as an after thought on a special occasion? Then she has a valid beef there too. She’s correct to be hesitant and cautious.

So my advice is check your attitude and look in the mirror. You have work to do on yourself.

Or next her. She will do just fine without you.
 

BackInTheGame78

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That type of comment is the type of comment a simp would make. Just sayin'.
Well, if treating a person you claim to care about with respect, forget from a relationship standpoint...from a human being standpoint, is being a simp then yes I am.

But honestly it sounds more like you never learned what being a man is about from your Dad. And I am not talking about being a man from a standpoint of getting and banging women, I am talking about how to actually be one.
 

FlexpertHamilton

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nah OPs behavior is simp. Be with her and be committed like a man, or leave her. That in between ish is for kids.
Perhaps; I didn't read the OP's post until now. I don't necessarily think ghosting someone is immature, although 3 weeks is definitely excessive.
 

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stringpuller

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Ghosting a committed girlfriend is simp behavior. She’s earned a face to face breakup.
Beta thinking. Ghosting is ALWAYS on the table. Its your only agency.
Here's is SECS.
Eyeball if ghosting isnt the trump card to her sexuality then what is?
More "talks"
Negotiations? LOL please man.

Rejection breeds obsession.
 

EyeBRollin

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Beta thinking. Ghosting is ALWAYS on the table. Its your only agency.
Here's is SECS.
Eyeball if ghosting isnt the trump card to her sexuality then what is?
More "talks"
Negotiations? LOL please man.

Rejection breeds obsession.
Being a gentleman matters to some of us. If a woman was decent enough to become a DJs committed girlfriend, she’s earned a considerable amount of respect. A gentlemen parts ways in a cordial fashion.
 

Dash Riprock

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I’ll just get angry and shut down and won’t talk to her for weeks. Well I did this about a month ago. She called me to ask what sides she should bring to dinner. I don’t know why but I just thought she had attitude so I just hung up on her and didn’t talk to her for about 3 weeks.
WTF, who does this?

OP, you're the brat. Do you lack communication skills or self awareness or both? Pouting for 3 weeks over something so trivial is a bad look for a man.

She'd have every reason to dump you. I actually hope she does. You need to learn.
 
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