"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

Should I Be Concerned?

NewAndImproved

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Sep 10, 2008
Messages
373
Reaction score
13
Met a girl on NYE. A friend of a girl my friend was after. We had each other's backs that night. On the ride over from the pre-party to the actual one, I started talking to her, my usual C&F about seeming to be from another school. At the party, I stayed in her vicinity, while talking to some friends. She asked me to take a pic w/her friends and I refused, saying: "And what do I get return?" I then held my glance w/o flinching and she kissed me. I joked around and called it weak. When the clock struck twelve, I got another. I was hilarious throughout the night, plenty of negs, some deep convos too. I isolated in another room, sat on my lap cuddling and then we made out. I then walked her back to her friends, got a #. I told her I'd call her in 2 weeks (said the date) when she said she'd be back in town. She gave me a final kiss which I took as a good sign and then I bounced.

The next day I added her on facebook. I usually wait for the girl but her page was private and I wanted to see if she looked as good as she did w/beer goggles. She definitely did. I also had a status message up saying that "the new year started off right" or something like that. Since I'm a full-time student, I'm not used to having to keep in contact w/someone and maintain interest during times where dates aren't possible but I figured I should at least text her to keep the IL up. I did on Sunday night, several days removed, a C&F message referencing something I negged her about. No response.

Did I wait too long to contact her? Was I too eager? Was it my facebook status? Or what?

Right now I'm just gonna proceed as planned and call her next week of course as we agreed but of course I'm a little thrown off right now.
 

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

Read more...

slaog

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 16, 2008
Messages
1,722
Reaction score
51
Location
an island
If you say 2 weeks you should mean 2 weeks. It could be for all the reasons you suggested or there could be other reasons out of your control. She might be seeing if you contact her again too.


It's not even worth thinking about. Go concentrate on spinning other plates and then get back to her when it's time.


it sounds like you done well on the night.
 

NewAndImproved

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Sep 10, 2008
Messages
373
Reaction score
13
Yeah, thanks man. Everything really came together NYE. I was applying everything that I've learned, but it came effortlessly. I'll try not to worry about it.
 
E

Energizer

Guest
It sounds like she was drunk and just wanted some NYE fun, you happened to be the man that provided it. I'd text her or attempt to phone her one more time and if she doesn't pick up the phone, chalk it up a loss and move on.
 

NewAndImproved

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Sep 10, 2008
Messages
373
Reaction score
13
UPDATE:

Well, she finally broke the silence. Sent me a facebook message saying her phone was dead and that she'd have a new one in a few days. Then she asked what was up. It's difficult to tell from the message if she actually got the text I sent on Sunday.

So now obviously I need to get her number again. I was thinking something like "ah...well when the phone's all set up you should ask me for MY digits this time." Good? Bad?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

E

Energizer

Guest
Why not hit her with a simple "Do you fancy going for coffee sometime?". Be direct and prompt, if she says no, then she isn't interested, if she says yes, take that as an interest and go from there.
 

playerone

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 5, 2008
Messages
349
Reaction score
6
Location
A place where dreams become reality
NewAndImproved said:
"ah...well when the phone's all set up you should ask me for MY digits this time."
that is giving her control, putting the ball into her court. when it's time, tell her to give you her new number. in the meantime, just keep the c&f and attraction going in the facebook messages. make it short and sweet every time, until you talk on the phone or meet up with her again. remember the more you chase, the less interested she'll be in you.
 

NewAndImproved

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Sep 10, 2008
Messages
373
Reaction score
13
Grrr....

Well, the same day I wrote my last post I sent her a C&F message via facebook, hoping to get some banter going before she came back to town. After a few exchanges, I'd sort out the phone problem...if there was one. Instead, I never got a response. I know she was on a few times because she responded to some other peoples' messages, added photos etc... When the day I said I'd call came around, I did and I got her voicemail. I didn't leave one. Voicemail boxes are often remote so that didn't bother me as much as the fact that she initiated something and then peaced out. Whatever. I figured I'd wait to see what she did when we all got back to school.

Then just today she writes me on facebook: "NewAndImproved!!!" She then asked what was up. At this point, my plan is to not respond and wait until the weekend where according to facebook she's going to the same party I'll be at. I'm doing it less out of wanting to play games as to just actually get communicating w/her. IMO, the first thing out of her mouth (so to speak) when she wrote me should've been an explanation. Sound good?
 
Top