"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Should I Be Concerned?

NewAndImproved

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Met a girl on NYE. A friend of a girl my friend was after. We had each other's backs that night. On the ride over from the pre-party to the actual one, I started talking to her, my usual C&F about seeming to be from another school. At the party, I stayed in her vicinity, while talking to some friends. She asked me to take a pic w/her friends and I refused, saying: "And what do I get return?" I then held my glance w/o flinching and she kissed me. I joked around and called it weak. When the clock struck twelve, I got another. I was hilarious throughout the night, plenty of negs, some deep convos too. I isolated in another room, sat on my lap cuddling and then we made out. I then walked her back to her friends, got a #. I told her I'd call her in 2 weeks (said the date) when she said she'd be back in town. She gave me a final kiss which I took as a good sign and then I bounced.

The next day I added her on facebook. I usually wait for the girl but her page was private and I wanted to see if she looked as good as she did w/beer goggles. She definitely did. I also had a status message up saying that "the new year started off right" or something like that. Since I'm a full-time student, I'm not used to having to keep in contact w/someone and maintain interest during times where dates aren't possible but I figured I should at least text her to keep the IL up. I did on Sunday night, several days removed, a C&F message referencing something I negged her about. No response.

Did I wait too long to contact her? Was I too eager? Was it my facebook status? Or what?

Right now I'm just gonna proceed as planned and call her next week of course as we agreed but of course I'm a little thrown off right now.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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slaog

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If you say 2 weeks you should mean 2 weeks. It could be for all the reasons you suggested or there could be other reasons out of your control. She might be seeing if you contact her again too.


It's not even worth thinking about. Go concentrate on spinning other plates and then get back to her when it's time.


it sounds like you done well on the night.
 

NewAndImproved

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Yeah, thanks man. Everything really came together NYE. I was applying everything that I've learned, but it came effortlessly. I'll try not to worry about it.
 
E

Energizer

Guest
It sounds like she was drunk and just wanted some NYE fun, you happened to be the man that provided it. I'd text her or attempt to phone her one more time and if she doesn't pick up the phone, chalk it up a loss and move on.
 

NewAndImproved

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UPDATE:

Well, she finally broke the silence. Sent me a facebook message saying her phone was dead and that she'd have a new one in a few days. Then she asked what was up. It's difficult to tell from the message if she actually got the text I sent on Sunday.

So now obviously I need to get her number again. I was thinking something like "ah...well when the phone's all set up you should ask me for MY digits this time." Good? Bad?
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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E

Energizer

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Why not hit her with a simple "Do you fancy going for coffee sometime?". Be direct and prompt, if she says no, then she isn't interested, if she says yes, take that as an interest and go from there.
 

playerone

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NewAndImproved said:
"ah...well when the phone's all set up you should ask me for MY digits this time."
that is giving her control, putting the ball into her court. when it's time, tell her to give you her new number. in the meantime, just keep the c&f and attraction going in the facebook messages. make it short and sweet every time, until you talk on the phone or meet up with her again. remember the more you chase, the less interested she'll be in you.
 

NewAndImproved

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Grrr....

Well, the same day I wrote my last post I sent her a C&F message via facebook, hoping to get some banter going before she came back to town. After a few exchanges, I'd sort out the phone problem...if there was one. Instead, I never got a response. I know she was on a few times because she responded to some other peoples' messages, added photos etc... When the day I said I'd call came around, I did and I got her voicemail. I didn't leave one. Voicemail boxes are often remote so that didn't bother me as much as the fact that she initiated something and then peaced out. Whatever. I figured I'd wait to see what she did when we all got back to school.

Then just today she writes me on facebook: "NewAndImproved!!!" She then asked what was up. At this point, my plan is to not respond and wait until the weekend where according to facebook she's going to the same party I'll be at. I'm doing it less out of wanting to play games as to just actually get communicating w/her. IMO, the first thing out of her mouth (so to speak) when she wrote me should've been an explanation. Sound good?
 
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