"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Should I back way off?

X

xectxny19x

Don Juan
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I've been dating this girl for 7 months. One problem with her is that sometimes she'll seem distant, but every time she sees girls flirting with me, she's all over me. :crazy: Now she's appearing distant again. She'll send me a short text saying where she is, what she's doing, "i miss you," or "i love you," and that's it. I'll back off for at most 3 days and hang out with my friends and some girls, and then she's all of a sudden available any time and anywhere. Honestly, I'm getting tired of this.

It's just that when she's around and affectionate, it's seriously like a dream. Then when she's distant with no explanation whatsoever, in fact, she even tells me she has nothing to do for the day, it's crushing.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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S

SuSHI

Senior Don Juan
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Jan 26, 2003
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lose her man, I know it's hard, but it will be for the best. But before you do, look around for your next girl. And in the mean while, use her for sex. Play her off like you have other girls interested (if that is not the case) so you can keep getting it, and be on the look out for a girl that will actually treat you right. Cause I hate to say it, but it sounds like your girl is a fickle attention whroe.
 
D

Diaforetikos

Senior Don Juan
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Dec 28, 2009
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Northern California
SuSHI said it right. It sounds like she just wants attention. When you give her too much, she ignores you because you gave her what she wanted. She'll keep playing those games because you let it become a normal thing in the relationship.

Like SuSHI said, just drop her and move on to the next girl. She'll keep playing that game if you don't.
 
F

F!DELITY

Don Juan
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Sep 7, 2009
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London
To the OP, im in virtually the exact same position...only my relationship is only a month.

Like you, I feel completely sick of this ****...how hard is it for a girl to make the effort to contact you every once in a while!? its as if she doesn't care, right?

Im currently my 3rd day of NC...and the longer it goes on the more pissed off im getting....this could be a major dealbreaker for me with this girl...If it carrys on I'm gonna have to end it...even though when I'm with her its great!

Good luck with your decision man, whatever it is you do.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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