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Should I apologize a former lover for pumping and dumping? (I have no feelings for her)

BackInTheGame78

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thanks for all different perspectives!

I think I won’t do anything for now. If I end up bumping into her, maybe I’ll do it. But it’s unlikely I bump into her.

I don’t know why I have to repeat myself

I don’t want nothing with the girl.

I am in another continent!

She is in Brazil im in Portugal

it was just to fix some wrong I now realized I’ve made with her

but yes. It’s risky to open some wounds on her part

and no, no attraction whatsoever
Let's be real...this would only be to benefit YOU. Because you feel bad about it and you want to absolve your conscious of it. Why, who knows? It's a normal part of dating someone you aren't really into. Get easy sex while looking for something better. Every guy has done it. Stop holding yourself hostage over it and let it go and move on. There isn't anything to fix.

She likely hasn't given you another thought for a long time. She doesn't need it.
 

BeExcellent

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Advice from the old lady:

No. Do not contact.

Be a better human being going forward. People have feelings. Be kind. It is hard to reconcile being a cold hearted ass hole to a woman you’d never date with being a good man.

Best NOT to sport fvck chicks in that case. Why waste your time & effort on a girl you’d never date? Is your ego that fragile?

Rather, reserve your time for women you might actually be interested in. Now, if you’ve never had real abundance with women & never been able to get laid easily I can understand the curiosity of the conquest. But for guys who can get laid easily? It becomes an empty waste of time, particularly when said chick you don’t give a crap about actually really likes you. It’s mean to simply use someone like that and it harms others.

If you don’t want your sister or daughter treated a certain way? Refrain from treating any woman that way. Just because you can doesn’t make it a good idea.
 

The Duke

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Advice from the old lady:

No. Do not contact.

Be a better human being going forward. People have feelings. Be kind. It is hard to reconcile being a cold hearted ass hole to a woman you’d never date with being a good man.

Best NOT to sport fvck chicks in that case. Why waste your time & effort on a girl you’d never date? Is your ego that fragile?

Rather, reserve your time for women you might actually be interested in. Now, if you’ve never had real abundance with women & never been able to get laid easily I can understand the curiosity of the conquest. But for guys who can get laid easily? It becomes an empty waste of time, particularly when said chick you don’t give a crap about actually really likes you. It’s mean to simply use someone like that and it harms others.

If you don’t want your sister or daughter treated a certain way? Refrain from treating any woman that way. Just because you can doesn’t make it a good idea.
Youre applying the female mindset to the situation.

Men enjoy and are perfectly capable of having sport sex with no issues and no further expectations. It's not waste of time to a man.

It's only a waste of time for a woman that is looking to acquire something more by having sex and not getting it. If a woman isn't ok with taking that chance then she shouldn't engage. Men don't look to gain something thru sex.

As long as the guy is honest it's on her if she wants to engage.

Women seem to struggle with holding themselves accountable. We have all this women's power/rights bullschit but want to remove her power to say no to sex because she might like the guy and want more when he doesn't.

Either be a modern day woman or let's go back to 1955. You cant have it both ways.
 

BeExcellent

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Youre applying the female mindset to the situation.

Men enjoy and are perfectly capable of having sport sex with no issues and no further expectations. It's not waste of time to a man.

It's only a waste of time for a woman that is looking to acquire something more by having sex and not getting it. If a woman isn't ok with taking that chance then she shouldn't engage. Men don't look to gain something thru sex.

As long as the guy is honest it's on her if she wants to engage.

Women seem to struggle with holding themselves accountable. We have all this women's power/rights bullschit but want to remove her power to say no to sex because she might like the guy and want more when he doesn't.

Either be a modern day woman or let's go back to 1955. You cant have it both ways.
Agreed. However the OP is the one who is all worried about it.

We have no idea if the chick gives it a single thought.

Let’s be real. Lots of men come moping around here after some low interest chick blows them off. So it does cut both ways. Maybe those dudes are just pvssies (shrugs).
 

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AmsterdamAssassin

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We have no idea if the chick gives it a single thought.
She's probably glad to be rid of him and not interested at all in getting an 'apology'.
 

Lotus Effect

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Seriously, I give up on you guys... hahahahaha

it doesn't matter what I say, you just misinterpret it

Ill try one last time.
The chick clinged on me. She told me'propose to me'. 'I love you'.

And no, I was not an a hole on purpose. I told her I didnt want anything, but my actions by consistently dating her made her belive otherwise.
So I know I hurt her.

The thing about my sister was an example. Jesus. I know english is not my main language, but cmon, it cant be that hard to understand.

And yes, it is more about me than it is about her.

Thats why I said in my previous reply that I'll leave it as it is, make peace with myself, try and avoid stringing b!tchs along, and if I ever come across her, Ill be polite, and eventually say sorry for being a douche.

END OF STORY

That is it. It is not rocket science.

PS:
She's probably glad to be rid of him and not interested at all in getting an 'apology'.
And yes man, she does. She befriend all my friends on instagram after we ended
You don't know brazilian chicks. She's into black magic and stuff. They crazy man
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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You don't know brazilian chicks. She's into black magic and stuff. They crazy man
Don't presume.

It's probably that black magic that is making you question whether you should apologise.
 

Lotus Effect

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You might know some brazilian chicks, you don't know the lot. Specially in their habitat!

Its the same thing as me saying I know Amsterdam, just because I've been there for vacations.

I was born and raised with these chicks. They are next level crazy.
And yes, the minute I found out about the black magic was the minute I stereed clear!
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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You might know some brazilian chicks, you don't know the lot. Specially in their habitat!
Sounds like you should be with Brazilian women outside their habitat.
 

BeExcellent

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Old school advice from around here:

Do not stick your djck in crazy. It’s not worth it.
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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Old school advice from around here:

Do not stick your djck in crazy. It’s not worth it.
That kind of advice lasts until you feel her tongue piercing stroke your trouser snake.
 

Lotus Effect

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Sounds like you should be with Brazilian women outside their habitat.
c'mon mate, how old are you, to be discussing in an internet forum trying to win an argmument...

Anyway i'm tired, you won. Congratz m8!
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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c'mon mate, how old are you, to be discussing in an internet forum trying to win an argmument...

Anyway i'm tired, you won. Congratz m8!
We're having an argument? About what exactly? And what did I win?
 

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Bigpapa

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Lotus Effect I'm not sure if I believe in "karma" or not... but I can tell you that any time I've wronged someone, I eventually end up in the 'passenger seat' (getting a dose of my own medicine).

Some say that this "karma" thing is "payback" or punishment." If such a thing actually exists, then I'd disagree. From my own experiences, I'd say that it's an opportunity for personal growth. When I have experienced (first hand) the same offenses that I unjustly inflicted onto another, this would prompt me to self-reflect. Afterward, I not only regretted my offense , but learned and evolved from it.

Should you contact her?
It depends.
If doing so would re-open an old wound to her ...then the outcome isn't worth coming clean. However, if you weren't her first and she has good self-esteem, then go for it. I've done it and it's like a (for lack of a better word) "cleansing." You'll leave the offended feeling better about themselves and you'll feel better about yourself too.
Solid reply

I truly believe that guys should leave women better or at least the same as they found them

If you did wrong, it ain’t nothing wrong about apologizing for being a jerk if you actually feel that way and you do not expect anything in return

If you do this because you expect something in return you are either toxic either a simp

The most important thing is how you apologize for being a jerk, there are manly ways to do it that ironically will increase your attractiveness. But do it if you actually mean it :)
 
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BackInTheGame78

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Youre applying the female mindset to the situation.

Men enjoy and are perfectly capable of having sport sex with no issues and no further expectations. It's not waste of time to a man.

It's only a waste of time for a woman that is looking to acquire something more by having sex and not getting it. If a woman isn't ok with taking that chance then she shouldn't engage. Men don't look to gain something thru sex.

As long as the guy is honest it's on her if she wants to engage.

Women seem to struggle with holding themselves accountable. We have all this women's power/rights bullschit but want to remove her power to say no to sex because she might like the guy and want more when he doesn't.

Either be a modern day woman or let's go back to 1955. You cant have it both ways.
The OP is the one having a feminine mindset.
 

CAPSLOCK BANDIT

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Apology is a complex emotional road to walk because your admitting fault; the thing about powerless people is they tend to lash out and be reckless with any power they are given, you admitting fault is giving them that power.

You want to apologize yet you have an intent to possibly just do it again, why not just tell her, hey I have no feelings for you but you make my balls stir with excitement so I'm gonna keep talking to you
 
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