The Myth of the "Quality" Woman
It seems like all I read about on SoSuave these days is a never ending quest for a "Quality Woman." There's threads asking for clear definitions of what constitutes a "Quality" woman and others that conveniently set women up into 2 camps - Quality women and Horz, as if there were no middle ground. How easy it becomes to qualify a woman based on her indiscrretions (as heinous as they're perceived to be) for either of these catagories. This is binary thinking at its best - on or off, black or white, Quality woman or Hor.
I think the term 'Quality' woman is a misnomer. Guys tend to apply this term at their leisure not so much to define what they'd like in a woman (which is actually an idealization), but rather to exclude women with whom they'd really had no chance with in the first place, or mistakenly applied too much effort and too much focus to only to be rebuffed. This isn't to say that there aren't women who will behvaes maliciously or indiscriminately, nor am I implying that they ought to be excused out of hand for such. What I am saying is that it's very AFC to hold women up to preconceived idealizations and conveniently discount them as being less than "Quality" when you're unable to predict, much less control their behaviors.
The dangers inherent in this convention is that the AFC (or the DJ subscribing to the convention) then self-limits himself to only what he perceives as a Quality woman, based on a sour-grapes conditioning. Ergo, they'll end up with a "Quality" woman by default because she's the only candidate who would accept him for her intimacy. It becomes a self-fulfiling prophecy by process of elmination. Taken to its logical conclusion, they shoot the arrow, paint the target around it and call it a bullseye, and after which they'll feel good for having held to a (misguided) conviction.
So why is this a social convention then? Because it is socially unassailable. Since this convention is rooted to a binary premise, no one would likely challenge it. It would be foolish for me to say "Yes Mr. DJ I think you ought to avoid what you think of as Quality women." Not only this, but we all get a certain satisfaction from the affirmation that comes from other men confirming our assessment of what catagory a woman should fit into. Thus it becomes socially reinforced.
Be careful of making a Quality woman your substitute for a ONEitis idealization.
