"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
She's losing interest. Dump her or NC?
- Thread starter dbx
- Start date
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
Renegade357
Master Don Juan
How many times per week have you seen her?
How long have you been going out with her?
BeDJ
Guest
thevilittletroll
Senior Don Juan
If you like this chick, don't dump her because that causes drama. Just back off completely and see if her interest picks up.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
it's a bit of a strange relationship, but we've been texting everyday, then suddenly it's stopped. if i try find out what's wrong she thinks i'm putting pressure on her. it's lose-lose.
BeDJ
Guest
I went NC with a chick who had high interest turned cold. She called me up to hang out 3 weeks later.
dbx said:
Dude, you're head is sorted out and you know what behavior is required. She's not going to forget about you and she's not going to lose interest and simply drift away if you don't text her every day.
She's feeling pressured. The relationship has gone from "texting because I want to" to "texting because I feel like its expected". And she started feeling pressured days before the texts stopped coming.
So, what's the prescription? STOP. Go cold. If she doesn't want pressure, create the opposite... a vacuum. You do that by disappearing from her life so she can remember why she was "texting because I want to".
She's already not initiating anything or calling you. You want to call her and tell not to call you? That doesn't make any sense.dbx said:
Leave your ego out of it and let it be, she knows where to find you. She's already giving you the hint it may be ok to go and sleep with other girls.
She's driving you nuts without touching you or spreading rumours? You got to be 100 times stronger than that. You can't let anything affect you unless its physical or damages your name.
But that's their goal, they make you emotionally attached, and then cut it off to see how desperate you are.
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
We didn't text yesterday and I won't text her until i get one from her. There was talk of her staying over tonight because she is going away for the weekend, but I'll not contact her about it. If she says she can't come over, I'll pretend I'm not bothered, it she doesn't say anything, neither will I.
I think the pressured talk is right. She wants easy and lighthearted. Just need to try control my feelings and at least come across like i don't care.
Slightly worried that I'll lose her, but I'm sure I'll lose her if I keep pestering her. Why is it NC works like this?
Anyway, any other tips would be appreciated.
Thanks!
Atom Smasher
Master Don Juan
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Here's the problem:
Texting makes you "common".
She chatters all day and night with her remote friends, and what happens when you text regularly with her is that you become just another chatterbox to her. Texting is SAFE for her because it removes responsibilty and personal investment. It's a rut that she's in.
My experience shows me that it's best to use texting to your advantage, but use it extremely sparingly. You need to rise above her mundane life, and not be a part of the most common, "autopilot" part of her life. A man of power is ABOVE texting except very sparingly. He doesn't have time to sit with a tiny little cell phone typing tiny little keys just like her girlfriends do. He should be out slaying dragons in her imagination, not crouched in a corner tapping away just to day "Hi".
Texting is the antithesis of remaining scarce, one of the basic tenets of establishing power.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
You have recognized that you need to pull back NOW. GADAvid nailed it (post #9 above).