"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
She's losing interest. Dump her or NC?
- Thread starter dbx
- Start date
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Renegade357
Master Don Juan
How many times per week have you seen her?
How long have you been going out with her?
BeDJ
Guest
thevilittletroll
Senior Don Juan
If you like this chick, don't dump her because that causes drama. Just back off completely and see if her interest picks up.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
it's a bit of a strange relationship, but we've been texting everyday, then suddenly it's stopped. if i try find out what's wrong she thinks i'm putting pressure on her. it's lose-lose.
BeDJ
Guest
I went NC with a chick who had high interest turned cold. She called me up to hang out 3 weeks later.
dbx said:
Dude, you're head is sorted out and you know what behavior is required. She's not going to forget about you and she's not going to lose interest and simply drift away if you don't text her every day.
She's feeling pressured. The relationship has gone from "texting because I want to" to "texting because I feel like its expected". And she started feeling pressured days before the texts stopped coming.
So, what's the prescription? STOP. Go cold. If she doesn't want pressure, create the opposite... a vacuum. You do that by disappearing from her life so she can remember why she was "texting because I want to".
She's already not initiating anything or calling you. You want to call her and tell not to call you? That doesn't make any sense.dbx said:
Leave your ego out of it and let it be, she knows where to find you. She's already giving you the hint it may be ok to go and sleep with other girls.
She's driving you nuts without touching you or spreading rumours? You got to be 100 times stronger than that. You can't let anything affect you unless its physical or damages your name.
But that's their goal, they make you emotionally attached, and then cut it off to see how desperate you are.
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
We didn't text yesterday and I won't text her until i get one from her. There was talk of her staying over tonight because she is going away for the weekend, but I'll not contact her about it. If she says she can't come over, I'll pretend I'm not bothered, it she doesn't say anything, neither will I.
I think the pressured talk is right. She wants easy and lighthearted. Just need to try control my feelings and at least come across like i don't care.
Slightly worried that I'll lose her, but I'm sure I'll lose her if I keep pestering her. Why is it NC works like this?
Anyway, any other tips would be appreciated.
Thanks!
Atom Smasher
Master Don Juan
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Here's the problem:
Texting makes you "common".
She chatters all day and night with her remote friends, and what happens when you text regularly with her is that you become just another chatterbox to her. Texting is SAFE for her because it removes responsibilty and personal investment. It's a rut that she's in.
My experience shows me that it's best to use texting to your advantage, but use it extremely sparingly. You need to rise above her mundane life, and not be a part of the most common, "autopilot" part of her life. A man of power is ABOVE texting except very sparingly. He doesn't have time to sit with a tiny little cell phone typing tiny little keys just like her girlfriends do. He should be out slaying dragons in her imagination, not crouched in a corner tapping away just to day "Hi".
Texting is the antithesis of remaining scarce, one of the basic tenets of establishing power.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
You have recognized that you need to pull back NOW. GADAvid nailed it (post #9 above).