"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
She's losing interest. Dump her or NC?
- Thread starter dbx
- Start date
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Renegade357
Master Don Juan
How many times per week have you seen her?
How long have you been going out with her?
BeDJ
Guest
thevilittletroll
Senior Don Juan
If you like this chick, don't dump her because that causes drama. Just back off completely and see if her interest picks up.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
it's a bit of a strange relationship, but we've been texting everyday, then suddenly it's stopped. if i try find out what's wrong she thinks i'm putting pressure on her. it's lose-lose.
BeDJ
Guest
I went NC with a chick who had high interest turned cold. She called me up to hang out 3 weeks later.
dbx said:
Dude, you're head is sorted out and you know what behavior is required. She's not going to forget about you and she's not going to lose interest and simply drift away if you don't text her every day.
She's feeling pressured. The relationship has gone from "texting because I want to" to "texting because I feel like its expected". And she started feeling pressured days before the texts stopped coming.
So, what's the prescription? STOP. Go cold. If she doesn't want pressure, create the opposite... a vacuum. You do that by disappearing from her life so she can remember why she was "texting because I want to".
She's already not initiating anything or calling you. You want to call her and tell not to call you? That doesn't make any sense.dbx said:
Leave your ego out of it and let it be, she knows where to find you. She's already giving you the hint it may be ok to go and sleep with other girls.
She's driving you nuts without touching you or spreading rumours? You got to be 100 times stronger than that. You can't let anything affect you unless its physical or damages your name.
But that's their goal, they make you emotionally attached, and then cut it off to see how desperate you are.
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
We didn't text yesterday and I won't text her until i get one from her. There was talk of her staying over tonight because she is going away for the weekend, but I'll not contact her about it. If she says she can't come over, I'll pretend I'm not bothered, it she doesn't say anything, neither will I.
I think the pressured talk is right. She wants easy and lighthearted. Just need to try control my feelings and at least come across like i don't care.
Slightly worried that I'll lose her, but I'm sure I'll lose her if I keep pestering her. Why is it NC works like this?
Anyway, any other tips would be appreciated.
Thanks!
Atom Smasher
Master Don Juan
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Here's the problem:
Texting makes you "common".
She chatters all day and night with her remote friends, and what happens when you text regularly with her is that you become just another chatterbox to her. Texting is SAFE for her because it removes responsibilty and personal investment. It's a rut that she's in.
My experience shows me that it's best to use texting to your advantage, but use it extremely sparingly. You need to rise above her mundane life, and not be a part of the most common, "autopilot" part of her life. A man of power is ABOVE texting except very sparingly. He doesn't have time to sit with a tiny little cell phone typing tiny little keys just like her girlfriends do. He should be out slaying dragons in her imagination, not crouched in a corner tapping away just to day "Hi".
Texting is the antithesis of remaining scarce, one of the basic tenets of establishing power.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
You have recognized that you need to pull back NOW. GADAvid nailed it (post #9 above).