"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
She's losing interest. Dump her or NC?
- Thread starter dbx
- Start date
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Renegade357
Master Don Juan
How many times per week have you seen her?
How long have you been going out with her?
BeDJ
Guest
thevilittletroll
Senior Don Juan
If you like this chick, don't dump her because that causes drama. Just back off completely and see if her interest picks up.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
it's a bit of a strange relationship, but we've been texting everyday, then suddenly it's stopped. if i try find out what's wrong she thinks i'm putting pressure on her. it's lose-lose.
BeDJ
Guest
I went NC with a chick who had high interest turned cold. She called me up to hang out 3 weeks later.
dbx said:
Dude, you're head is sorted out and you know what behavior is required. She's not going to forget about you and she's not going to lose interest and simply drift away if you don't text her every day.
She's feeling pressured. The relationship has gone from "texting because I want to" to "texting because I feel like its expected". And she started feeling pressured days before the texts stopped coming.
So, what's the prescription? STOP. Go cold. If she doesn't want pressure, create the opposite... a vacuum. You do that by disappearing from her life so she can remember why she was "texting because I want to".
She's already not initiating anything or calling you. You want to call her and tell not to call you? That doesn't make any sense.dbx said:
Leave your ego out of it and let it be, she knows where to find you. She's already giving you the hint it may be ok to go and sleep with other girls.
She's driving you nuts without touching you or spreading rumours? You got to be 100 times stronger than that. You can't let anything affect you unless its physical or damages your name.
But that's their goal, they make you emotionally attached, and then cut it off to see how desperate you are.
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
We didn't text yesterday and I won't text her until i get one from her. There was talk of her staying over tonight because she is going away for the weekend, but I'll not contact her about it. If she says she can't come over, I'll pretend I'm not bothered, it she doesn't say anything, neither will I.
I think the pressured talk is right. She wants easy and lighthearted. Just need to try control my feelings and at least come across like i don't care.
Slightly worried that I'll lose her, but I'm sure I'll lose her if I keep pestering her. Why is it NC works like this?
Anyway, any other tips would be appreciated.
Thanks!
Atom Smasher
Master Don Juan
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Here's the problem:
Texting makes you "common".
She chatters all day and night with her remote friends, and what happens when you text regularly with her is that you become just another chatterbox to her. Texting is SAFE for her because it removes responsibilty and personal investment. It's a rut that she's in.
My experience shows me that it's best to use texting to your advantage, but use it extremely sparingly. You need to rise above her mundane life, and not be a part of the most common, "autopilot" part of her life. A man of power is ABOVE texting except very sparingly. He doesn't have time to sit with a tiny little cell phone typing tiny little keys just like her girlfriends do. He should be out slaying dragons in her imagination, not crouched in a corner tapping away just to day "Hi".
Texting is the antithesis of remaining scarce, one of the basic tenets of establishing power.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
You have recognized that you need to pull back NOW. GADAvid nailed it (post #9 above).