"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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she's kissing someone else at a party, and you're there.

B

bollocks

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or at least she's paying all her attention to this dude, and they're hugging, or something similiar. and she's drunk. or close to it.

basically your girlfriend, or whatever you choose to refer to her by, is ignoring you and is concentrating on someone else.

this hasn't happened to me yet, but i suddenly thought about it.

what would be the best thing to do? to let her know you're pissed off (understandbly), without thumping the dude or her or anything ridiculous like this.

all i could think of was strolling up and mocking her by also to fawning over him. there's nothing gained from this, but surely it's better than storming out and crying in the moonlight, or fighting them both, or pretending it didn't happen and writing in your dairy with black eyeliner on whilst listening to dashboard confessional and asking your cat for advice.

note: this hasn't happened to me yet.

fire away.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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T

Thraxeh

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i just wouldnt play that **** if it happens. just let it be, talk to her when shes sober, and say "**** you. BYE"
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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gregory

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make out with girls in front of her face if that's the case.
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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