She's caught up with an ex?

[upcoming_DJ]

Hey DJs,

I've been seeing this girl for the past 3 months.

Humble, sweet, loving, and giving - treats me very well and is always compliant.

However, she has admitted to having serious insecurity issues (which she has been working on to resolve) and also anxiety issues.

I have been trying to keep my effort and investment as minimal as I can so as to not "truly" fall for her.

She has been chasing me all this while doing 80-90% of the pursuing. Many of her texts go unanswered for hours and days.

The reason for this is that - i've had a feeling that this girl is still caught up with her past. She has only had 1 "real" relationship so far and it ONLY LASTED 5 MONTHS. The guy was an ******* - basically played HIS REAL GIRLFRIEND WITH HER and illusioned her into "having a relationship". Well you can imagine - she felt horrible and I believe this really caused her insecurities to grow and her anxiety to worsen.

so today she added to her pinterest board:



and another quote was "we repeat what we don't repair"




the thing is she confuses me too.

why would someone caught up in her past chase me like she does?

like a text from her lastnight:




how would you go about this? do you try to bring it up to her in conversation or next her or just enjoy it while it lasts?

TAKEAWAY: I also might just be projecting my own playing games with this girl. It could be that since I am very inconsistent with her (sending mixed signals) she is emoting and frustrated at me and this is remind her of her past. What was then and what is now.

She might be feeling that I am or will be just like her ex boyfriend and cheat on her or dump her. Since I ignore her a lot, she might be on the brink of auto rejection.

thanks!

 

[CBear]

Invest little time on her. Girls like her are a mess. If her "ex" messages her this minute, she'll go back to him immediately and it won't be you're fault. If theres anything you can do, have her keep chasing & maybe in time her feelings for you will overtake any past experiences she had but I can't say for sure. Better not to even get involved imo but if you want to smash, try to do what you gotta do and run the other way.

 

[lizardking82]

Only be available if she's up for some hot sex in this emotional mess she's in. She has not got the concetration and emotional calmness and/or maturity for anything else right now. And at this stage, you can't even teach her.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

She might be feeling that I am or will be just like her ex boyfriend and cheat on her or dump her. Since I ignore her a lot, she might be on the brink of auto rejection.

thanks!

Excuses. If she mentions ex, you downgrade her to booty call, Netflix and chill, etc. And you let her pursue you.

She either is all in or she's shady and not trust worthy.

 

[flowtheory]

Honestly, if you like her enough and she seems worth it - and you know this from spinning many plates - and she’s not just around for I nflating your ego, i would be honest with her and yourself and tell her she should work on herself for awhile — fix whatever is ‘broken’. then you two can touch back at the end of the year and start things with a better footing.

Sometimes the best thing to do, for yourself and others, is letting go of them when you know that person is in a vulnerable and transitioning place.
It’s clear to see she has a lot going on mentally, which in-turn brings a lot of instability and heavy emotions to you and perpetuates her lack of equilibrium.

Valuing yourself comes from the people which you choose to bring in to your orbit; alon with a plethora of many other things. Knowing she hasn’t full dealt with her ex, those emotions are still floating within her. This is devaluating you, as you’re choosing to be okay with her still having valuable real-estate in her heart and mind for another man.

Be direct and tell her to take time to let go of some heaviness, then reconvene when she’s a bit more clear hearted and minded.
You’re taking on her energy right now, and to me, she’s unstable which inturn will create an instability somewhere in you.

 

[Spaz]

Only be available if she's up for some hot sex in this emotional mess she's in. She has not got the concetration and emotional calmness and/or maturity for anything else right now. And at this stage, you can't even teach her.

Do this, you won't go wrong.

Anything else is plain dumb as in the same breath as a retard.

 

[marmel75]

So you play games because you think she ia playing games? Sounds like a typical poster here...SMFH

 

[Reykhel]

Get off her instagram or snapchat and stop over analyzing her.

I sense a bit of whiteknight in your post......."her boyfriend treated her like.....blah blah" There's two sides to every story and you should
not concern yourself with this nonsense.

Should you bring it up in conversation? Fvck no. Stop caring about crap like this. Let her do whatever the fvck women do on friendface snapshat or whatever garbage only women are on. Ask yourself why you should give a fvck. Imagine if you brought it up.......it would be a low value move as you'd come across as a jealous girl....

Start putting more focus on your life and let go of this need to look at any girl's social media.....

Seriouly man, 1) Focus on your life and your goals 2) just think about the next hook up with her and stay in the present