"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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She's busy

R

REPEM

Don Juan
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So I ask this girl out tonight.

She's already out when I asked her.

I know a girl will make herself available if shes interested but it's understandable if she's already out.

But she didnt give a "tommorow" or "sometime during the week" etc. Nothing. Just a "sorry im out of town tonight".




How do you take this?
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Mantis Toboggan

Master Don Juan
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How did you ask her out? What was the conversation?

Also, how did you meet her?

It would help to know this kinda stuff.
 
R

REPEM

Don Juan
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FTR - this is a girl i've already hooked up with, things didnt work out, but we're still friends and have hooked up a couple times since. i wanna turn it into more of a FWB situation :rockon:
 
R

REPEM

Don Juan
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Mantis Toboggan said:
How did you ask her out? What was the conversation?

Also, how did you meet her?

It would help to know this kinda stuff.
Click to expand...
txt msg


Me: hey what's up

Her: im out of town for now, what are you up to?

Me: going to ____ tonight

Her: hehe cool

Me: u shud meet us there later

Her: nah sorry im not in town
 
M

Mantis Toboggan

Master Don Juan
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REPEM said:
txt msg


Me: hey what's up

Her: im out of town for now, what are you up to?

Me: going to ____ tonight

Her: hehe cool

Me: u shud meet us there later

Her: nah sorry im not in town
Click to expand...
Oh. That's not a big deal at all. You're just overanalyzing. Give it another shot during the week.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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S

SandHawk

Master Don Juan
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Why did you even ask her to meet up when she said she's out of town? Because it seems like a waste of energy to even bother.

But, take the 2(or 3) strikes rule into account. If a girl flakes 2 or 3 times without bothering to re-schedule, they're exit. Even if I hooked up in the past with her. Don't be too needy, don't over-analyze stuff. It's logical she didn't bother to propose another time to meet up, because she was out of town and you invite her to come over to that specific place. If she doesn't respond to "hye, wanna meet up on <date:time>" well, then you have grounds to next her.
 
R

REPEM

Don Juan
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SandHawk said:
Why did you even ask her to meet up when she said she's out of town? Because it seems like a waste of energy to even bother.
Click to expand...
Yup. I admit it was Stupid on my part. Still refining my skills.

I figured she'd be back home later in the night and we could meet up then.
 
S

seagull

Senior Don Juan
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REPEM said:
So I ask this girl out tonight.

She's already out when I asked her.

I know a girl will make herself available if shes interested but it's understandable if she's already out.

But she didnt give a "tommorow" or "sometime during the week" etc. Nothing. Just a "sorry im out of town tonight".




How do you take this?
Click to expand...
The "Two Strikes Rule" is your best friend. Do a search on this forum for it. Instead of overanalysing everything she does, ask her to hang out and if she rejects you twice without making a counter offer, move on. Give it one more go with this girl, and if she replies the same way, next her.
 
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