"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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She will find out my secret identiy

B

Black_Italian

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Most of you probably know by now about my secret alterior life as a Ninja. What i am afraid of is my Gf findng out if she find out her life may be in danger. She has already found by geng gak shei (the thing i were on my head) she is starting to ask questions.

I am part of the Black Dragon clan the most ancient and mystical of all Ninjas. The evil Red Lions are constantly searching for me as i am a threat to them. Once they catch me they will take my soul and change me into one of them AND I RATHER DIE BEFORE BECOMING A RED LION.

My question is how would i keep my gf off my trail. She must not find out i am a Ninja or her life will be in danger. Please Help!!
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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tactic

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I hate people who act like they're the shyt and they act like nerds.
 
B

Black_Italian

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Originally posted by tactic
I hate people who act like they're the shyt and they act like nerds.
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or it could be that im bored :eek:

I am on midnight watch for the Red Ninjas havent slept for 49 hours straight. There are faries everywere :D
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Black_Italian

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lol ah enough with this sh*t im going to bed lol.

Just a recap My gf didnt catch me scratching my nose her toothbrush didnt fall in the toilet and she is nowere near finding out my true identity.

Cyas

Will He lol ah well i guess he will see the humour in it..If he ahs a sence of humour :cool:
 
M

muttley

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Originally posted by I'm Joe Dirt
I'm a freemason but no girls around my age know what that is so I guess I'm safe...
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Really? how did you become one?
 
R

ReT

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Just carry a smoke bomb with you, incase you get in trouble :D lol
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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TACH

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Is it safe for you to be posting all over the internet about how you're a member of the most ancient and mystical of all Ninjas?

I would think that they'd have a serious problem with that, and when their 'net Ninjas find these posts I'm sure you will be terminated.

Keep an eye on those bushes, Red Lions are everywhere!
 
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