She went cold all of a sudden few days after a wonderful date.

Trump

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Hi everyone,

Met this girl online, she is 20, I am 32.
She told me some bul*shirt reasons, why it will not work out. Said I am too old and said that she is not sure what she wants in life.... Crazy!
It’s not crazy. You are too old for her. She is TWENTY years old, her stock is like $1000/share. Yours is like $40/share.

I mean is it impossible to treat these young girls right without being dumped like a piece of garbage?
It’s impossible to date someone who is 20 when you were 32.

The only reason I can think of why this happened is, that she is young and used to jerks who are a challenge.. What do you think?
I think the only reason is that you are old and used to girls who submit.

My response to the text was "Ok" and then I deleted her number, what she can see, because she cant see my profile pic anymore.

What would you have done in this situation? Did i act right?
She is TWENTY YEARS OLD and you are THIRTY TWO. Just sleep with her and move on.
 
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KindredSpiritzz

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women are emotional roller coaster basket cases, what feels good and seems like a good idea suddenly changes over night as they over think everything. Nothing surprises me in that realm anymore with women. Nothing you can do about it and it'll happen with other women to at some point, they just flake out. Gotta take the good with the bad
 

RickTheToad

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It’s not crazy. You are too old for her. She is TWENTY years old, her stock is like $1000/share. Yours is like $40/share.



It’s impossible to date someone who is 20 when you were 32.



I think the only reason is that you are old and used to girls who submit.



She is TWENTY YEARS OLD and you are THIRTY TWO. Just sleep with her and move on.
Nah, Scott Dislick is engaged to a 21 year old I think. But, he's like worth 100 million bucks.
 
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RickTheToad

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It sounds like you barely qualified her. It sounds like you instantly gave her the green light and reciprocated all her advances. If she's cute that's boring for her, where's the challenge? The anticipation?

When there's an age difference of more than 5 years I make then really work for it. Its really what they want, to qualify themselves and risk being shut down. You sit on the fence ane then qualify them in the end and they're super satisfied and relieved and really value and enjoy you. Think about it this way. Let's say you get a woman in bed and she's a really good fuk and really cute. She knows all the moves and orgasms constantly. She can get laid easily. You may feel intimidated, but the answer is easy. Tease the living hell out of her. Touch around her spots, drive her absolutely crazy. Make it seem like you're unsure about even having sex with her and she'll be begging for it. whatever happens she'll be amazed by your performance simply due to the anticipation.

It's the same when you're dating a younger girl. She needs and wants to work to qualify herself and you have to have an attitude of 'idk if you're good enough for me, I can get much more successful and accomplished women so you better have something special to make you stand out.' A playful and at the same time teasing/challenging her attitude. next time you're on a date with a young girl try it, you'll be amazed.

The cute ones loooove working for your attention. When she sends you cute lovey stuff like she did for you and really goes above and beyond you should simply downplay it and joke around in a charming manner, not mirror her. Her advances should be seen as cute, not something that's stealing your heart. If a young girl can easily steal your heart what do you think that makes her think about you? That you're easy and must not have much to offer. For being so much older than her that makes you a loser in her eyes. The easier she can get you mirroring crazy lovey stuff the less valuable you seem.

Own your experience and understand the value you have because of it. You have more than a decade on her in this crazy game called life, act like it.

She got turned off by how easy and low value you came across. And you were eating it up and now feel hurt like you're 'garbage'. Don't drink the koolaid! Let her have a sip of reality. You're the one that's more accomplished. She works for you and never completely has you. That's how you keep young ones around. How will she feel if she has to work hard to seduce you and get you in bed? She'll feel like a million bucks because you're obviously higher value. The best part is the age difference is all the proof she needs. Simply act your part.
Captain Fantastic has made some good points.
 

bacchus

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Oh show us the way wise leader....

You love putting other posters down (in this case, one actually offering good insight) yet I can’t recall one post where you actually contributed anything to the discussion, other than telegraphing that you’re a bitter, spiteful know-it-all. It’s very catty, feminine behaviour on your part and it derails good dialogue.

If you have decent advice, by all means please share, but save the name calling and put downs for next Monday night when you get together with your homegirls to watch the bachelorette and talk about the contestants you dislike.
 

RickTheToad

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You love putting other posters down (in this case, one actually offering good insight) yet I can’t recall one post where you actually contributed anything to the discussion, other than telegraphing that you’re a bitter, spiteful know-it-all. It’s very catty, feminine behaviour on your part and it derails good dialogue.

If you have decent advice, by all means please share, but save the name calling and put downs for next Monday night when you get together with your homegirls to watch the bachelorette and talk about the contestants you dislike.
Calm down princess. I wasn't putting anyone down and a do not believe I do, at least intentially, in my posts. As for above, I was joking with @Clamslammer and agreeing with both @EyeOnThePrize and @AttackFormation. So, I get your panties stuck out between your crack and you'll feel better soon enough.
 

biggoal

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I had an OLD date in Aug, solid HB8.5 The date lasted almost 4 hours total. Even after the date she texted me first, about 2 hours later after the date saying she had a good time and all and showed me piles of papers she was grading. Over the next couple days still kept in contact and it all sounded well and such. So later in the week I make the move and ask if she'd like to meet up for a drink. She said she'd have to see because she had a lot of grading to do. So a few days later I asked and she said she just isn't wanting to date now and doesn't have the time in her life for it!! Then on FB she posts pics of flowers sent to her school from a guy she went on a date to Applebees with the night before mine. Yea, beta sent her flowers after first date and they didn't look cheap! On our date she mentioned him and how he was kinda arrogant.

So I finally called her out on her BS. She said I just wasn't her type. Claiming my dad just died and I'm bitter over it LOL and really snapped. I only briefly mentioned my dad died. Yet on the date she mentioned her messed up family and her loser brother constnatly and how he sexually abused her and was in therapy for it. Yet bashes me about my dad.
 

Clamslammer

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Calm down princess. I wasn't putting anyone down and a do not believe I do, at least intentially, in my posts. As for above, I was joking with @Clamslammer and agreeing with both @EyeOnThePrize and @AttackFormation. So, I get your panties stuck out between your crack and you'll feel better soon enough.
Guys need to realize that women are far from logical. Most guys blame themselves or start to second guess themselves if something does not work out with a new girl like in this case.

OP do not worry, you may not have even done anything wrong and she may just be a head case, bp, insecure, scared to date you because you might be too good for her, etc...

Who knows why and who cares...try to keep improving yourself and you will land a girl that is worth your time. One thing I learned with girls is do not burn bridges if they did not do anything bad to you. In your case you should have just told her to hit you up down the road if she wanted to catch up.
 
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MrWood

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"OK" and a delete is great if you stick to it.
She probably had another guy she was interested in. Or something ELSE that was more important than continuing things with you.
If she wants to hang again, she can find you
 

oldmanofthesea

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All the advice for these kinds of situations usually falls somewhere on the line between:

A: "It's not your fault - there is nothing you can do about it" and
B: "You messed it up"

There is truth to "A" and it helps guys who are overly hard on themselves for things that are outside of their control.

There is truth to "B" when a guy is turning a girl off.

My experience has taught me that 60% of it has nothing to do with you. You just aren't her type, she's not in the right head-space, she's talking to another guy, the timing is bad, whatever. "Nothing to do with you" is a bad way to put it because it might have everything to do with you but what I really mean here is that it has nothing to do with anything you've done WRONG or anything you can CHANGE and do differently. She might be into fat guys, or guys with crooked noses, or guys with a high voice or guys with bad beards. So since it is outside of your control, there is ZERO point in concerning yourself over it or feeling rejected. It's a square peg in a round hole.

So that covers "A".

"B" is "game". One could spend a lifetime mastering all the nuances of it, and you will always get better over time, slowly, with lots of practice. But from my experience, so long as you are doing the following things, you can chalk up any losses to "A" instead of "B":
1. You are being a challenge. This means you coming from the mindset that you are out to evaluate her and she has to prove herself to you instead of you hoping to god she chooses you. Once you get into this mindset, it will manifest itself in all actions you take with her. A recent example is a girl I'm dating who is 20 years younger than me. She lives in another country and is coming to stay with me for a month over the holidays. She told me she was worried I'd get bored with her being around for a whole month. I could have said, "I wouldn't get bored with you! I can't wait to spend a bunch of time with you!" Instead I said, "The only way to find out is for you to spend a month with me." Do you see the difference?

Nearly everything else about game is linked to the above. If you carry that mindset, all the other things fall into place. But to explode them out a little:
2. You are not acting needy
3. You are very careful how much you validate her, and in what ways (most blue-pill guys over-validate, and focus on the physical). Validation should be used as a reward, and it should not be out of balance with how she validates you
4. You understand push-pull and when to withdraw your attention and how not to be over available - and you match your investment level with hers. IE if she is not investing much in you, you don't invest much in her
5. You are assertive and dominant and lead the interaction

Honestly, if you get into the mindset of #1, you can pretty much attribute all your losses to "A" - not your fault, even if you don't do everything else perfectly.
 

markfromeurope

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OP you are 12 years older - its way too much considering her age (only 20), Chateau Heartiste blog states accordingly that at this age you don't date them - you hang out with them.

20y old girl has perfect right to fall for 25-26y old guy - at 32 you would need already a significant status advantage and keep your look at the highest possible level.

Moreover women at this age still rely heavily on their friends and family opinions and you are heavily disadvantaged if no LMS to beat the bad voices.
 

RickTheToad

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OP you are 12 years older - its way too much considering her age (only 20), Chateau Heartiste blog states accordingly that at this age you don't date them - you hang out with them.

20y old girl has perfect right to fall for 25-26y old guy - at 32 you would need already a significant status advantage and keep your look at the highest possible level.

Moreover women at this age still rely heavily on their friends and family opinions and you are heavily disadvantaged if no LMS to beat the bad voices.
Amen.
 
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Glassguy

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Women play the field. That is why you sometimes get the hot/cold and then they get warm again.

If you are their best option (looks, status, etc) you will get much less of the "cold" and you will certainly not have them disappear.

Maybe she was a pump and dump in the meantime to a guy she "thought" was a better option and "thought" wanted more than sex. She realized he wasnt and moved back to you.

Women are sneaky creatures. Its when you learn more of the game.......and play the game right along with them because you dont truly give a fvck (and have other options). That is when you will feel her pursuing you. Last I checked women that are pursuing me dont go cold.
 

stormrider

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All the advice for these kinds of situations usually falls somewhere on the line between:

A: "It's not your fault - there is nothing you can do about it" and
B: "You messed it up"

There is truth to "A" and it helps guys who are overly hard on themselves for things that are outside of their control.

There is truth to "B" when a guy is turning a girl off.

My experience has taught me that 60% of it has nothing to do with you. You just aren't her type, she's not in the right head-space, she's talking to another guy, the timing is bad, whatever. "Nothing to do with you" is a bad way to put it because it might have everything to do with you but what I really mean here is that it has nothing to do with anything you've done WRONG or anything you can CHANGE and do differently. She might be into fat guys, or guys with crooked noses, or guys with a high voice or guys with bad beards. So since it is outside of your control, there is ZERO point in concerning yourself over it or feeling rejected. It's a square peg in a round hole.

So that covers "A".

"B" is "game". One could spend a lifetime mastering all the nuances of it, and you will always get better over time, slowly, with lots of practice. But from my experience, so long as you are doing the following things, you can chalk up any losses to "A" instead of "B":
1. You are being a challenge. This means you coming from the mindset that you are out to evaluate her and she has to prove herself to you instead of you hoping to god she chooses you. Once you get into this mindset, it will manifest itself in all actions you take with her. A recent example is a girl I'm dating who is 20 years younger than me. She lives in another country and is coming to stay with me for a month over the holidays. She told me she was worried I'd get bored with her being around for a whole month. I could have said, "I wouldn't get bored with you! I can't wait to spend a bunch of time with you!" Instead I said, "The only way to find out is for you to spend a month with me." Do you see the difference?

Nearly everything else about game is linked to the above. If you carry that mindset, all the other things fall into place. But to explode them out a little:
2. You are not acting needy
3. You are very careful how much you validate her, and in what ways (most blue-pill guys over-validate, and focus on the physical). Validation should be used as a reward, and it should not be out of balance with how she validates you
4. You understand push-pull and when to withdraw your attention and how not to be over available - and you match your investment level with hers. IE if she is not investing much in you, you don't invest much in her
5. You are assertive and dominant and lead the interaction

Honestly, if you get into the mindset of #1, you can pretty much attribute all your losses to "A" - not your fault, even if you don't do everything else perfectly.
The reason why you have to come up with a ball park guess of "60%" in the first place is due to trying to game women outside of your social spheres.

Within my social spheres, 100% of it comes down to neediness and overcompensating. If I avoid these two things, it's pretty much clockwork of the woman inviting me alone for sex.

There's no guess work whatsoever. There could be 10 women in a particular social environment and I would make my way to all 10 of them.

It baffles my mind why guys subjugate themselves to OLD and street game. Imagine getting c0ckblocked by unknown variables time and time again. That's enough to make you jaded and ruin your self esteem, lol. I know, because it happened to me.
 

oldmanofthesea

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The reason why you have to come up with a ball park guess of "60%" in the first place is due to trying to game women outside of your social spheres.
Couple points to this....

1. Yes, when dealing with strangers, it's much more likely for a woman to suddenly go cold vs a woman you've gotten to know a while in a social circle. Many reasons for this, some of which are that it's easier to ghost a stranger, and she has no chance to vet you to see if you are her type before committing to a date.
2. I think you may be discounting your experience with game. When you get to expert level and you are on auto-pilot, you don't even think about it, but you ARE doing it. Even the social game you exude around members of the same sex that she can then observe.... it's all part of it. If you didn't have game, you would not be working your way through all 10 of these women. Being in a social circle and not being needy or overcompensating will not allow any man to have his way with 10 out of 10 women in the circle. The better your game, the better your chances.

I think it all comes down to whether you can accept "rejection" for what it is and not take it to mean that it's something about you. In the spirit of full disclosure, I'm human and not immune to rejection. But I work on it, and work toward knowing a girl's opinion of me should not affect my opinion of myself. I don't get it right all the time but I get better each day because I have that end-state as a target I'm moving toward. Even in social circle, you have rejection. If a new girl joins your social circle and doesn't present herself to you and give you the IOIs you look for, that's rejection right there. She's not interested in you. It's just an easier rejection for you to handle when you aren't putting yourself out there first...... but why avoid that? Because it can make one jaded and ruin their self esteem? While it can do those things, don't you feel that is something one should be able to master internally and avoid?
 

stormrider

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Couple points to this....

1. Yes, when dealing with strangers, it's much more likely for a woman to suddenly go cold vs a woman you've gotten to know a while in a social circle. Many reasons for this, some of which are that it's easier to ghost a stranger, and she has no chance to vet you to see if you are her type before committing to a date.
2. I think you may be discounting your experience with game. When you get to expert level and you are on auto-pilot, you don't even think about it, but you ARE doing it. Even the social game you exude around members of the same sex that she can then observe.... it's all part of it. If you didn't have game, you would not be working your way through all 10 of these women. Being in a social circle and not being needy or overcompensating will not allow any man to have his way with 10 out of 10 women in the circle. The better your game, the better your chances.

I think it all comes down to whether you can accept "rejection" for what it is and not take it to mean that it's something about you. In the spirit of full disclosure, I'm human and not immune to rejection. But I work on it, and work toward knowing a girl's opinion of me should not affect my opinion of myself. I don't get it right all the time but I get better each day because I have that end-state as a target I'm moving toward. Even in social circle, you have rejection. If a new girl joins your social circle and doesn't present herself to you and give you the IOIs you look for, that's rejection right there. She's not interested in you. It's just an easier rejection for you to handle when you aren't putting yourself out there first...... but why avoid that? Because it can make one jaded and ruin their self esteem? While it can do those things, don't you feel that is something one should be able to master internally and avoid?
I wish what you said was true, but I have seen fat and ugly guys - essentially losers in some social environments clean up with women simply because of proximity and built in commonalities. These are things women are not able to create for themselves. They rely on serendipity.

There have been many times where my ego was offended that I ended up sleeping with the same chick that a "lesser" guy already slept with. There were times I refused to sleep with a 9 because I found out she hooked up with Joe Blow her first day in the social environment when they all went out for drinks.

The common misconception is that women value their pvssies. That's an illusion created by OLD and bars/clubs.

The guy who gets laid the most is the guy in the right place at the right time who manages to be non needy and non-overcompensating. He's nothing spectacular. But guys on this forum overrate women's standards because they are used to OLD and clubs.

I don't need to master anything. Romance to me is like catching lobster with a huge net. And someone would come out of nowhere and ask me "Would you rather be a master fisherman who can catch any fish with just a rod?"

My question is why? If lobster is so abundant and easily caught, why is there so much emphasis on being a master fisherman? For sport?


Cultivate social spheres. Be cool. And women pursue. It's not that my fragile ego cant take rejection. It's more like I haven't needed to step outside my lane since 1999. If there was a need for it, I would change my system.

A system is supposed to be efficient and based on least effort.
 

stormrider

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Couple points to this....

1. Yes, when dealing with strangers, it's much more likely for a woman to suddenly go cold vs a woman you've gotten to know a while in a social circle. Many reasons for this, some of which are that it's easier to ghost a stranger, and she has no chance to vet you to see if you are her type before committing to a date.
2. I think you may be discounting your experience with game. When you get to expert level and you are on auto-pilot, you don't even think about it, but you ARE doing it. Even the social game you exude around members of the same sex that she can then observe.... it's all part of it. If you didn't have game, you would not be working your way through all 10 of these women. Being in a social circle and not being needy or overcompensating will not allow any man to have his way with 10 out of 10 women in the circle. The better your game, the better your chances.

I think it all comes down to whether you can accept "rejection" for what it is and not take it to mean that it's something about you. In the spirit of full disclosure, I'm human and not immune to rejection. But I work on it, and work toward knowing a girl's opinion of me should not affect my opinion of myself. I don't get it right all the time but I get better each day because I have that end-state as a target I'm moving toward. Even in social circle, you have rejection. If a new girl joins your social circle and doesn't present herself to you and give you the IOIs you look for, that's rejection right there. She's not interested in you. It's just an easier rejection for you to handle when you aren't putting yourself out there first...... but why avoid that? Because it can make one jaded and ruin their self esteem? While it can do those things, don't you feel that is something one should be able to master internally and avoid?

I know this is a double post but I just had an epiphany. I'm going to try to my best to show you guys what exists in my brain so that you can see what I see.

You guys are looking at the game from a "value" perspective. This is why you harp on game and probably overestimate my own level of game, thinking there must be something I am doing unconsciously that would make my laid ratio 10/10.

Meanwhile, what I am saying is that sure, in OLD and the clubs, you DO need 8+ value. You need it to compensate for lack of everything else.

So what is "everything else?"

Proximity, commonalities, chemistry, sexual tension, logistics, rapport, social proof, convenience, demographics, connection, and least effort.

Social proof is a helluva drug because it can make a fat guy fvckable to a lot of women.

What I am saying is that in social environments, having a baseline value of a "6" combined with all of these other intangibles makes you a very fvckable guy.

It is common to fall into the trap of thinking everything is about value. Because in the clubs and OLD, it really IS about value because it lacks all the other natural ingredients that exists in social tribes.

When you are in a social tribe with a woman, the seduction almost takes care of itself. Like I said, you just need to have baseline value and be non needy and non overcompensating.

But when you are in the sexual marketplace, you lack all the natural ingredients that makes a woman want to hook up with you naturally so you need to be really high value to compensate.


I hope this explains it.
 
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