She went cold all of a sudden few days after a wonderful date.

summersky

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Hi everyone,

Met this girl online, she is 20, I am 32. Went out on a date, had a great conversation, lots of touching, kissing. She told me how cute I am and that she thinks im a great guy. After the day we texted every day, she told me how great the date was and I told her the same. I asked her out 2 days later and she wasn't sure if she is in town on the weekend and wanted to let me know today. She sent me good night and good morning voice messages and everything seemed to go well. She told me sweet things and i told her also.

This morning she sent a sweet message and told me she has a cold. Like about 7 hours later the same day, I got a long text from her. She told me some bul*shirt reasons, why it will not work out. Said I am too old and said that she is not sure what she wants in life.... Crazy!

I have to say that I was just myself, replied everytime, was funny, polite, also told her sweet things.

I mean is it impossible to treat these young girls right without being dumped like a piece of garbage? The only reason I can think of why this happened is, that she is young and used to jerks who are a challenge.. What do you think?

My response to the text was "Ok" and then I deleted her number, what she can see, because she cant see my profile pic anymore. What would you have done in this situation? Did i act right?

Will be thankful for every response I get!
 
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LARaiders85

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The only reason I can think of why this happened is, that she is young and used to jerks who are a challenge.. What do you think?
Even if you were a jerk who is a challenge she could still bail, it usually doesn't have much to do with you.
 

AttackFormation

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The more you focus on trying to control how women respond to you, especially in cold approach situations like nightlife, the street, OLD or antisocial media, the more foolish and frustrated you'll make yourself.

You have to realize, and then accept, the things that are out of your control. Then you can focus on the things you are better equipped to control - like how you react to this. Your mind has to be unmovable in a state of peace and harmony. You have to be ready to accept any outcome and let them slide off you like the water waves off a beach.
 
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Suave88

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Even if you were a jerk who is a challenge she could still bail, it usually doesn't have much to do with you.
Yes it does have to be with him and not with what he did, do, or does. She does not like him. No matter how he behave she doesn't like him.
Delete her number.
 

Kotaix

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The more you focus on trying to control how women respond to you, especially in cold approach situations like nightlife, the street, OLD or antisocial media, the more foolish and frustrated you'll make yourself.

You have to realize, and then accept, the things that are out of your control. Then you can focus on the things you are better equipped to control - like how you react to this. Your mind has to be unmovable in a state of peace and harmony. You have to be ready to accept any outcome and let them slide off you like the water waves off a beach.
This, and all of this. The problem is not your problem, your reaction is the problem. You got rejected and your ego is butthurt so you try to blame others for the problem. It's in the past, so learn what you can from your failure and try again, and again.

She doesn't think you're garbage, you don't know what she thinks and you don't know her life, that's your mind talking. At least she had the decency to let you down instead of just straight up ghosting as has become the norm.
 
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Kotaix

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I have to say that I was just myself, replied everytime, was funny, polite, also told her sweet things.
Focusing on "doing the right things at the right times" is not being yourself. Listening to what she says (*groan*) and responding according to your own principle, unfiltred, is what being yourself is.
 

Suave88

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This, and all of this. The problem is not your problem, your reaction is the problem. You got rejected and your ego is butthurt so you try to blame others for the problem. It's in the past, so learn what you can from your failure and try again, and again.

She doesn't think you're garbage, you don't know what she thinks and you don't know her life, that's your mind talking. At least she had the decency to let you down instead of just straight up ghosting as has become the norm.
So true about ghosting.
 

Robert28

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The age difference freaked her out I bet. She thought it wouldn’t but after she thought about it, it did. Bet you $100 that’s the real reason.
 

Suave88

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The age difference freaked her out I bet. She thought it wouldn’t but after she thought about it, it did. Bet you $100 that’s the real reason.
Why???? Don't age was known from profile description? They met online.
I believe this is girl testing online dating.
 

Black Widow Void

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Her reasoning could be anything, though I have a hunch.

Women typically like to "bask" (for lack of a better word). If they reach out... part of their excitement involves the anticipation. And though you may be available to quickly offer a response (thinking that you are further cementing their interest) this action actually does the exact opposite.

Basically, women thrive on positive emotional experiences and part of this positive experience ... involves feeling good. And if they can 'capture' the interest of someone that seems somewhat aloof, this furthers their positive experience. On the other hand, if you 'interfere' with this process (always being available, always agreeing, etc.. ) You 'rob' them of something that they subconsciously crave. ,

Think of this as if you are shopping for an automobile. Would you want the car model that has all the bells and whistles ... or would you want the same model that was no frills?
 
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jaymbrs

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She's 20, probably in college and just looking to have fun. That's all. You were probably too much of the relationship type and she realized she really just wants to **** alot of guys right now and not settle down.
 

rjc149

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This girl had the decency and consideration to text you why she was moving on. I would give this girl the benefit of the doubt. Assume her stated discomfort with the age difference is the honest reason.

32 and 20 is a pretty significant gap, especially when 20 means a young girl in college and 32 means a grown man looking to settle down. 20 year old girls are highly status driven and highly influenced by peer opinion. Bringing her 32 year old boyfriend around to house parties or Greek functions or whatever would likely be seen as weird and possibly a little creepy. She'll hook up with an uglier dude over you if that guy is pre-selected and approved by her social sphere. That's how college works.

Maybe she would have kept you on the side as a hookup but it's likely you telegraphed too much of a boyfriend/relationship vibe to her on your date for that to be an option she could entertain.
 

2Rocky

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She probably had another guy she was interested in. Or something ELSE that was more important than continuing things with you.

You can't take it personal that early. Didn't you have some other options in the wings?
 

RickTheToad

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The more you focus on trying to control how women respond to you, especially in cold approach situations like nightlife, the street, OLD or antisocial media, the more foolish and frustrated you'll make yourself.

You have to realize, and then accept, the things that are out of your control. Then you can focus on the things you are better equipped to control - like how you react to this. Your mind has to be unmovable in a state of peace and harmony. You have to be ready to accept any outcome and let them slide off you like the water waves off a beach.
This ^^^. Had a similiar experience in April... Detailed it here. Can't let it bother you and just move on. The more you chase, the more she goes in the opposite direction. Don't be surprised if she reaches out to you in a few weeks. You can then say, hey, we should catch up. Come by for some drinks on Friday (any day you wish) at 9pm. If she says no, say no problem. Another time then. Take care.
 

Suave88

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Hi everyone,

Met this girl online, she is 20, I am 32. Went out on a date, had a great conversation, lots of touching, kissing. She told me how cute I am and that she thinks im a great guy. After the day we texted every day, she told me how great the date was and I told her the same. I asked her out 2 days later and she wasn't sure if she is in town on the weekend and wanted to let me know today. She sent me good night and good morning voice messages and everything seemed to go well. She told me sweet things and i told her also.

This morning she sent a sweet message and told me she has a cold. Like about 7 hours later the same day, I got a long text from her. She told me some bul*shirt reasons, why it will not work out. Said I am too old and said that she is not sure what she wants in life.... Crazy!

I have to say that I was just myself, replied everytime, was funny, polite, also told her sweet things.

I mean is it impossible to treat these young girls right without being dumped like a piece of garbage? The only reason I can think of why this happened is, that she is young and used to jerks who are a challenge.. What do you think?

My response to the text was "Ok" and then I deleted her number, what she can see, because she cant see my profile pic anymore. What would you have done in this situation? Did i act right?

Will be thankful for every response I get!
OP, I have chatted with 10 women on match.com this month, none met me in life. You should feel lucky she met you on a date.
 
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Clamslammer

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Hi everyone,

Met this girl online, she is 20, I am 32. Went out on a date, had a great conversation, lots of touching, kissing. She told me how cute I am and that she thinks im a great guy. After the day we texted every day, she told me how great the date was and I told her the same. I asked her out 2 days later and she wasn't sure if she is in town on the weekend and wanted to let me know today. She sent me good night and good morning voice messages and everything seemed to go well. She told me sweet things and i told her also.

This morning she sent a sweet message and told me she has a cold. Like about 7 hours later the same day, I got a long text from her. She told me some bul*shirt reasons, why it will not work out. Said I am too old and said that she is not sure what she wants in life.... Crazy!

I have to say that I was just myself, replied everytime, was funny, polite, also told her sweet things.

I mean is it impossible to treat these young girls right without being dumped like a piece of garbage? The only reason I can think of why this happened is, that she is young and used to jerks who are a challenge.. What do you think?

My response to the text was "Ok" and then I deleted her number, what she can see, because she cant see my profile pic anymore. What would you have done in this situation? Did i act right?

Will be thankful for every response I get!
Haha...all these guys that talk about your age being the problem do not understand women. Do you really think she cares about his age, if she is attracted to him and he makes her wet his age is irrelevant.

I will tell you were you went wrong:

The good: You had a good date from your point of view and you made out.

The bad: Everything else. Why the hell are you sitting and texting a girl all day everyday, this is useless and will only make her attraction drop for you. You doing this resulted her vag drying up and her categorizing you as pen pal. You did not give her space to worry about you instead you came off as a guy with her only being your option and started giving off relationship vibes due to all the texting. In her mind you are pushing for a relationship and she got scared and ejected. It should be her job to be thinking locking you down, your job should have been date and bang, thats it.
 

RickTheToad

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Haha...all these guys that talk about your age being the problem do not understand women. Do you really think she cares about his age, if she is attracted to him and he makes her wet his age is irrelevant.

I will tell you were you went wrong:

The good: You had a good date from your point of view and you made out.

The bad: Everything else. Why the hell are you sitting and texting a girl all day everyday, this is useless and will only make her attraction drop for you. You doing this resulted her vag drying up and her categorizing you as pen pal. You did not give her space to worry about you instead you came off as a guy with her only being your option and started giving off relationship vibes due to all the texting. In her mind you are pushing for a relationship and she got scared and ejected. It should be her job to be thinking locking you down, your job should have been date and bang, thats it.
Oh show us the way wise leader....
 

EyeOnThePrize

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Hi everyone,

Met this girl online, she is 20, I am 32. Went out on a date, had a great conversation, lots of touching, kissing. She told me how cute I am and that she thinks im a great guy. After the day we texted every day, she told me how great the date was and I told her the same. I asked her out 2 days later and she wasn't sure if she is in town on the weekend and wanted to let me know today. She sent me good night and good morning voice messages and everything seemed to go well. She told me sweet things and i told her also.

This morning she sent a sweet message and told me she has a cold. Like about 7 hours later the same day, I got a long text from her. She told me some bul*shirt reasons, why it will not work out. Said I am too old and said that she is not sure what she wants in life.... Crazy!

I have to say that I was just myself, replied everytime, was funny, polite, also told her sweet things.

I mean is it impossible to treat these young girls right without being dumped like a piece of garbage? The only reason I can think of why this happened is, that she is young and used to jerks who are a challenge.. What do you think?

My response to the text was "Ok" and then I deleted her number, what she can see, because she cant see my profile pic anymore. What would you have done in this situation? Did i act right?

Will be thankful for every response I get!

It sounds like you barely qualified her. It sounds like you instantly gave her the green light and reciprocated all her advances. If she's cute that's boring for her, where's the challenge? The anticipation?

When there's an age difference of more than 5 years I make then really work for it. Its really what they want, to qualify themselves and risk being shut down. You sit on the fence ane then qualify them in the end and they're super satisfied and relieved and really value and enjoy you. Think about it this way. Let's say you get a woman in bed and she's a really good fuk and really cute. She knows all the moves and orgasms constantly. She can get laid easily. You may feel intimidated, but the answer is easy. Tease the living hell out of her. Touch around her spots, drive her absolutely crazy. Make it seem like you're unsure about even having sex with her and she'll be begging for it. whatever happens she'll be amazed by your performance simply due to the anticipation.

It's the same when you're dating a younger girl. She needs and wants to work to qualify herself and you have to have an attitude of 'idk if you're good enough for me, I can get much more successful and accomplished women so you better have something special to make you stand out.' A playful and at the same time teasing/challenging her attitude. next time you're on a date with a young girl try it, you'll be amazed.

The cute ones loooove working for your attention. When she sends you cute lovey stuff like she did for you and really goes above and beyond you should simply downplay it and joke around in a charming manner, not mirror her. Her advances should be seen as cute, not something that's stealing your heart. If a young girl can easily steal your heart what do you think that makes her think about you? That you're easy and must not have much to offer. For being so much older than her that makes you a loser in her eyes. The easier she can get you mirroring crazy lovey stuff the less valuable you seem.

Own your experience and understand the value you have because of it. You have more than a decade on her in this crazy game called life, act like it.

She got turned off by how easy and low value you came across. And you were eating it up and now feel hurt like you're 'garbage'. Don't drink the koolaid! Let her have a sip of reality. You're the one that's more accomplished. She works for you and never completely has you. That's how you keep young ones around. How will she feel if she has to work hard to seduce you and get you in bed? She'll feel like a million bucks because you're obviously higher value. The best part is the age difference is all the proof she needs. Simply act your part.
 

stormrider

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The girl wasn’t on your wavelength. You’re okay with that because maybe you just wanted some sex and affection. But female to male attraction works differently. Women go for type/demographic/niche/wavelength.

With women on my wavelength I can literally be brain dead and it would work out somehow. She would make it extremely easy for me. There’s no game or effort on my part.

With women outside my wavelength it looks just like your experience. I can do everything right and it still wouldn’t work out. There’s no actual chemistry. Just fabricated. That’s OLD for you. Two people from different universes trying to fabricate an organic romantic connection.

She tried her best. She even went out of her way to leave sweet little nothing voice messages. But in the end, she still wasn’t feeling it. That’s how women judge their guys. They either “feel it” or they don’t. Chances are she will “feel it” with some dude who’s probably uglier and less accomplished than you just because he just happens to have natural chemistry with her because he lives in the same universe as her.

When you do OLD or even the bars and clubs, you are just shooting in the dark hoping something would stick.

It is better you develop some hobbies and create a social life for yourself that reflects who you are and what you are passionate about and meet women into those social spheres. Then chemistry would come about naturally and organically, and most importantly, effortlessly.

But if you want to work really really hard and bang your head against the wall, then be my guess and keep trying OLD.

Romance follows the law of least effort.

I’ve figured it all out so that you guys don’t have to. God knows 90% of so suavers can’t game their way out of a paper bag.
 
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