"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

She Turned Her Cheek When I Went for the Kiss Close. Do I try Again?

ArrJAy

New Member
Joined
Aug 16, 2012
Messages
8
Reaction score
0
Location
California
I have been stuck in the friend zone with a girl I would rate as a 9.5 on a scale of a 1-10 with 10 being the most attractive. She's not a stripper nor a party girl but can have a good time when a good time is to be had. I've been slowly escalating out of the friend zone by turning everything sexual and turning up the kino more and more with every time I see her. Last weekend I was laying with her in her bed with the lights off listening to Coldplay and just talking about dreams and goals. I decided to start kino escalating by getting closer and giving her a back massage while still talking. As I see her enjoying this, I move away and completely stop with the massage in order to amplify her desire for my touch. It worked and she came even closer to me. I noticed this and rewarded it with slow sensual petting of her forearm while also barely hovering my two fingers over the top of her small baby hairs on her arm. She absolutely enjoyed this and we continued talking. After a few minutes of this and seeing the conversation was turning down I told her that if I were to die tomorrow then the one thing I would regret would be not making out with her. I went slowly in for the kiss close after saying this only to have her turn the cheek. She then asked if it were out of my system yet and I said "No" while going back in only to be denied again. I didn't get upset like an AFC but just turned around and continued having a conversation with her like nothing happened. This seemed to really throw her off as she came closer to me and just wanted to cuddle after that. I left in the morning and have now been acting like nothing happened that night. I continue to turn all of our conversations into sexual conversations and always make it seem like she is the one that is talking sexually to me.

Now my question to those who have possibly been through this before is whether or not I go back to the well and try kiss closing again but approach it in a different way or should I just let it be and accept the friend zone? Thanks in advance!
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

Read more...

Brighty

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 4, 2006
Messages
643
Reaction score
38
Truth hurts, but I'll give it to you straight - you're in the friend zone. Even in the way you post I can tell that you're always trying to spin it at every opportunity to make it appear as though you're not in the friend zone with her. You know you're in the friend zone with her, it sucks but you're going to have to face that, we've all been through it at one point or another. It's not going to happen with this girl, the most important thing is getting that through your head. You need to forget about her and turn your attention towards other women.
 

SamTheHobit

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 10, 2011
Messages
1,514
Reaction score
95
Location
South Africa
Dude you have nothing to lose persistent is key.. If she doesn't reciprocate... Leave for a few months and come back.
 

Brighty

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 4, 2006
Messages
643
Reaction score
38
SamTheHobit said:
Dude you have nothing to lose persistent is key.. If she doesn't reciprocate... Leave for a few months and come back.

Persistence doesn't work if you're already in the friend zone, if he does this he's only setting himself up for more emotional distress down the road. He needs to move on and forget about this girl. Why devise some sort of plan to go MIA for a few months and return to try again? What in the world makes this particular woman so important to go through that much effort?
 

NewAndImproved

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Sep 10, 2008
Messages
373
Reaction score
13
ArrJAy said:
I told her that if I were to die tomorrow then the one thing I would regret would be not making out with her.
WHOA!

Dramatic, much?

This is the epitome of AFC.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

B

BeDJ

Guest
ArrJAy said:
I told her that if I were to die tomorrow then the one thing I would regret would be not making out with her.
Which Bruno Mars song was this? :crackup::crackup::crackup:
 

Czech

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 13, 2012
Messages
14
Reaction score
3
Location
Ontario, Canada
I've been slowly escalating out of the friend zone by turning everything sexual and turning up the kino more and more with every time I see her.
Why waste your time when you're already in the Friends' zone?

Last weekend I was laying with her in her bed with the lights off listening to Coldplay and just talking about dreams and goals.
Dude, that is so gay. You would have a better chance cranking up Meatloaf and rolling a fat J in front of her.

This seemed to really throw her off as she came closer to me and just wanted to cuddle after that
Is she your girlfriend? Did you just have sex? Why were you cuddling?

Now my question to those who have possibly been through this before is whether or not I go back to the well and try kiss closing again but approach it in a different way or should I just let it be and accept the friend zone?
You answered your own question.
 

Abcd

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 20, 2002
Messages
254
Reaction score
0
I think you're just freaking her out by being too dramatic. Just be a little less dramatic and more matter of fact when you make your move. Don't do so, so much cuddling beforehand, just a little cuddling is OK, then a quick, confident kiss before she really has time to think about it. You're just giving her time to think and react when you should be going with the flow. Girls don't want your spoken analysis beforehand, it makes them seem like the decision maker. You make the decision and the girl enjoys it, they are not there to analyze the situation and decide whether to kiss you.
 

VladPatton

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 26, 2012
Messages
3,246
Reaction score
232
Location
NYC
You're giving her too much, especially if you're Friend Zoned. Start distancing yourself and act like so called "friends". 'Dreams and goals' talks are for girlfriends that are into you, and let's not even get into the cuddling. That is post-banging material & non-applicable for members of the Friend Zone.

As hard as it may be, your interest level needs to drop significantly once you get airlifted and dropped into the Friend Zone, or else you are gone try, try, try, while some other dude is actually plowing her. What then? You gonna go out and buy condoms for her in hope she'll use one with you?? That's AFC city, and you're the mayor at that point.

She wants to be just friends? Awesome, treat her like a buddy with t!ts, that's all.

Good luck to ya.
 

Harry Wilmington

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 19, 2012
Messages
1,196
Reaction score
204
I told her that if I were to die tomorrow then the one thing I would regret would be not making out with her.
Soooo... you basically told her if you were to die, the only thing you'd miss about her was that you didn't get physical with her. You didn't say you'd regret not getting to know her more; you didn't say you'd regret not being able to spend more time with her... instead, you basically told her you only desire her physically, not as a whole person.

Hmm, I wonder why she didn't feel ramped up to kiss you after that?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

marmel75

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 4, 2012
Messages
7,175
Reaction score
5,571
Never have had this happen...I actually had a time I went to kiss a girl on the cheek and she turned and kissed me on the lips...like a true AFC back then i screwed this up, even though I later found out she made sure no one was going to be home for a few hours when she invited me over(still lived with parents and sister) cause she was hoping I was going to bang her...

I cringe at my former self sometime....
 

The Bat

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 12, 2007
Messages
1,017
Reaction score
60
ArrJAy said:
I have been stuck in the friend zone with a girl I would rate as a 9.5 on a scale of a 1-10 with 10 being the most attractive. She's not a stripper nor a party girl but can have a good time when a good time is to be had. I've been slowly escalating out of the friend zone by turning everything sexual and turning up the kino more and more with every time I see her. Last weekend I was laying with her in her bed with the lights off listening to Coldplay and just talking about dreams and goals. I decided to start kino escalating by getting closer and giving her a back massage while still talking. As I see her enjoying this, I move away and completely stop with the massage in order to amplify her desire for my touch. It worked and she came even closer to me. I noticed this and rewarded it with slow sensual petting of her forearm while also barely hovering my two fingers over the top of her small baby hairs on her arm. She absolutely enjoyed this and we continued talking. After a few minutes of this and seeing the conversation was turning down I told her that if I were to die tomorrow then the one thing I would regret would be not making out with her. I went slowly in for the kiss close after saying this only to have her turn the cheek. She then asked if it were out of my system yet and I said "No" while going back in only to be denied again. I didn't get upset like an AFC but just turned around and continued having a conversation with her like nothing happened. This seemed to really throw her off as she came closer to me and just wanted to cuddle after that. I left in the morning and have now been acting like nothing happened that night. I continue to turn all of our conversations into sexual conversations and always make it seem like she is the one that is talking sexually to me.

Now my question to those who have possibly been through this before is whether or not I go back to the well and try kiss closing again but approach it in a different way or should I just let it be and accept the friend zone? Thanks in advance!
Is this....is it.....real life?? The hell is this...?

Dude, you're not only in the friend zone, you're also her girlfriend. I mean I don't even....

Coldplay, dreams and goals, back massage, cuddle....and nobody got penetrated? Come on dude...at least don't spend the night with her...

I say you completely forget about this girl, break off all contact, and move on to other women. Nothing good will ever come out of this situation. She will continue to string you along for all the attention you're giving her. I mean, look at this dude...you're putting her on a pedestal....in her mind, you just made her the most important person that has ever lived since if YOU were to die tomorrow, the ONLY thing you'd regret is not kissing her.

:cheer:
 

nismo-4

Moderator
Joined
Jan 31, 2005
Messages
4,438
Reaction score
1,142
Location
From New Orleans, Louisiana to Atlanta, Georgia!!!
You're in the friendzone, you're not getting out, she's not allowing it. Your princess is in another castle. Judge nismo orders you to stop being desperate and go for another girl.

I'm dismissing this asinine case because you know why she's not letting you advance. Get out of my court.
 

bigneil

Banned
Joined
Oct 20, 2006
Messages
8,265
Reaction score
2,644
Location
Texas
This is called the pity peck.

The only escape is to become the After in the Before and After photo.
 

typical

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 14, 2005
Messages
1,253
Reaction score
267
Location
Auckland, New Zealand
NO NO NO NO< Next time this happens to anyone you also turn your head and rub your cheek against her cheek and say something silly like "wow I like rubbing cheeks too"

Or some other crap, then continue talking and try again .... the old one step back two steps forward.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

pinkfl

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Sep 11, 2012
Messages
236
Reaction score
25
Sorry =/

She's just not that into you. Don't get me wrong, you sound like a great guy that could be a decent boyfriend that is great with emotional support etc etc but at the end of the day, she's just not feeling you.

The only time I've ever turned my cheek was when I FIRST started going out with a guy and I followed it up with "hey, we just started hanging out and I'm not quite ready for that yet". If you've been friends for a long time she's already made the decision in her mind that you are not a potential.
 
Top