"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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She tells me I'm self-righteous...

styleman

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She's ****ed her life up, and I'm doing everything I can to help her.
She says she still loves me but wants to not speak to me for a few days because 'I always just bail her out, and she wants to fix it herself.'
Every time I call or message her, she just tells me to stop messaging her and calling her and stop being so 'self-righteous' and 'selfish'.
Perhaps I am self-righteous, but rightfully so, she's the one who ****ed up her life, not me.
Selfish is one thing I certainly am not, I'm there for her, if I was selfish I really would not waste my time with her like this.
Any advice??
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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She has dumped you.

Stop contacting her, or you will be labeled a stalker.

Yes, I understand she is encouraging you to stalk but she has let you know to leave her alone so you better do it. Or she will really be gone forever.
 

styleman

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Initially I thought the same, but she has also been messaging me on her own accord, things like,
'I guess you don't even remember me.'
'I think you like it when I suffer, you just get on with your life while I'm like this'
'Do not meet any girls'

Anything I reply to the above is met with
'Don't reply'
'Leave me alone'
etc.

I've said
'If its finished, just bloody say it, don't mess me around.'
Her response
'That's the last thing I want! Why can't you understand that I just cannot deal with people right now. I love you, just ****ing leave me alone'
 
Joined
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styleman said:
Initially I thought the same, but she has also been messaging me on her own accord, things like,
'I guess you don't even remember me.'
'I think you like it when I suffer, you just get on with your life while I'm like this'
'Do not meet any girls'

Anything I reply to the above is met with
'Don't reply'
'Leave me alone'
etc.

I've said
'If its finished, just bloody say it, don't mess me around.'
Her response
'That's the last thing I want! Why can't you understand that I just cannot deal with people right now. I love you, just ****ing leave me alone'

Ooooooooooo she messages you. Big deal man it means nothing.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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DarkShade

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Isn't being self-righteous a part of being successful? I'd hate to not be.
 

Rounder

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Stop fixing her problems. Wouldn't you rather be with a woman who can solve her own issues? I figured that one out the hard way, but believe me it's better.

Listening to you describe her wears me out - so either she is a mess and has too much crap going on or you exaggerate and make more drama than is necessary.

Stop being "there for her" (excuse me while I puke). Supporting someone you care about is one thing - but you sound like you take pride in "being there for her" like it's the noble thing to do. You aren't impressing anyone by being "there for her" but yourself.
 

jdon23

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She is sending you mixed messages. She wants your help then when you show support she pushes you away. Why are you even dealing with this behavior?

Save yourself a headache and completely cut this woman out of your life
 

styleman

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jdon23 said:
She is sending you mixed messages. She wants your help then when you show support she pushes you away. Why are you even dealing with this behavior?

Save yourself a headache and completely cut this woman out of your life
Perhaps she does not want my support? I have no idea.
 

Jaggs

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Yeah sounds like she just wants attention. Stop giving it to her.

Next time this happens don't 'be there for her' when she acts like this. IGnore her messages and if she really continues with it say, "Hey...thought you broke up with me?". Start socializing with other people/girls and she will cut the crap and may even want you back (But why would you want that?! she sounds like a pain! ...unless you really like her I guess)

let her solve her 'issues' or whatever(lol)
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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styleman

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She's still doing the same thing, messaging me then telling me not to reply... Anyone know what I should do??
 

coolf1r3

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Reppin' that 860 in Hartford, CT!
'That's the last thing I want! Why can't you understand that I just cannot deal with people right now. I love you, just ****ing leave me alone'


Well, those are some mixed signals if I've ever seen any.
 

jdon23

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I already told you what you need to do.. STOP CONTACT

Stop damaging your self-dignity by putting up with this woman's BS. HER PROBLEMS are NOT yours!!!

Walk away
 

shaunuk

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She seems selfish and ungrateful. I don't see why you're trying to rescue this, she seems a bit messed up. Stop contacting her mate.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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puma183

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The above posters are correct:

1) She needs some "space" so she can sample some other guys. She is either having sex with one already, or very close to closing the deal. She is dangling you along, albeit at arms length, so that if this new liason doesn't work out you will be her safety-net/plan-B. This is actually pretty common evolved female mating behavior.

2) You are subconsciously trying to deal with this by morphing into Captain Save a Ho. Don't. Instead, try finding some plates to spin of your own.
 

DJDamage

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styleman said:
She's still doing the same thing, messaging me then telling me not to reply... Anyone know what I should do??
In the words of Samual L. Jackson: "THIS IS SOME FVCKED UP REPUGNANT SH1T".

She is playing games with you and using you.

Its time to pick up the phone and with your manly voice calmly tell her: "Don't ever call me or message me again, we are done!, GOT THAT??!!".
 

J Roc

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Look! Up in the sky! Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No it's...Styleman!!!
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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