"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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She tells me I'm self-righteous...

styleman

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She's ****ed her life up, and I'm doing everything I can to help her.
She says she still loves me but wants to not speak to me for a few days because 'I always just bail her out, and she wants to fix it herself.'
Every time I call or message her, she just tells me to stop messaging her and calling her and stop being so 'self-righteous' and 'selfish'.
Perhaps I am self-righteous, but rightfully so, she's the one who ****ed up her life, not me.
Selfish is one thing I certainly am not, I'm there for her, if I was selfish I really would not waste my time with her like this.
Any advice??
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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She has dumped you.

Stop contacting her, or you will be labeled a stalker.

Yes, I understand she is encouraging you to stalk but she has let you know to leave her alone so you better do it. Or she will really be gone forever.
 

styleman

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Initially I thought the same, but she has also been messaging me on her own accord, things like,
'I guess you don't even remember me.'
'I think you like it when I suffer, you just get on with your life while I'm like this'
'Do not meet any girls'

Anything I reply to the above is met with
'Don't reply'
'Leave me alone'
etc.

I've said
'If its finished, just bloody say it, don't mess me around.'
Her response
'That's the last thing I want! Why can't you understand that I just cannot deal with people right now. I love you, just ****ing leave me alone'
 
Joined
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styleman said:
Initially I thought the same, but she has also been messaging me on her own accord, things like,
'I guess you don't even remember me.'
'I think you like it when I suffer, you just get on with your life while I'm like this'
'Do not meet any girls'

Anything I reply to the above is met with
'Don't reply'
'Leave me alone'
etc.

I've said
'If its finished, just bloody say it, don't mess me around.'
Her response
'That's the last thing I want! Why can't you understand that I just cannot deal with people right now. I love you, just ****ing leave me alone'

Ooooooooooo she messages you. Big deal man it means nothing.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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DarkShade

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Isn't being self-righteous a part of being successful? I'd hate to not be.
 

Rounder

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Stop fixing her problems. Wouldn't you rather be with a woman who can solve her own issues? I figured that one out the hard way, but believe me it's better.

Listening to you describe her wears me out - so either she is a mess and has too much crap going on or you exaggerate and make more drama than is necessary.

Stop being "there for her" (excuse me while I puke). Supporting someone you care about is one thing - but you sound like you take pride in "being there for her" like it's the noble thing to do. You aren't impressing anyone by being "there for her" but yourself.
 

jdon23

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She is sending you mixed messages. She wants your help then when you show support she pushes you away. Why are you even dealing with this behavior?

Save yourself a headache and completely cut this woman out of your life
 

styleman

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jdon23 said:
She is sending you mixed messages. She wants your help then when you show support she pushes you away. Why are you even dealing with this behavior?

Save yourself a headache and completely cut this woman out of your life
Perhaps she does not want my support? I have no idea.
 

Jaggs

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Yeah sounds like she just wants attention. Stop giving it to her.

Next time this happens don't 'be there for her' when she acts like this. IGnore her messages and if she really continues with it say, "Hey...thought you broke up with me?". Start socializing with other people/girls and she will cut the crap and may even want you back (But why would you want that?! she sounds like a pain! ...unless you really like her I guess)

let her solve her 'issues' or whatever(lol)
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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styleman

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She's still doing the same thing, messaging me then telling me not to reply... Anyone know what I should do??
 

coolf1r3

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'That's the last thing I want! Why can't you understand that I just cannot deal with people right now. I love you, just ****ing leave me alone'


Well, those are some mixed signals if I've ever seen any.
 

jdon23

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I already told you what you need to do.. STOP CONTACT

Stop damaging your self-dignity by putting up with this woman's BS. HER PROBLEMS are NOT yours!!!

Walk away
 

shaunuk

Master Don Juan
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She seems selfish and ungrateful. I don't see why you're trying to rescue this, she seems a bit messed up. Stop contacting her mate.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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puma183

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The above posters are correct:

1) She needs some "space" so she can sample some other guys. She is either having sex with one already, or very close to closing the deal. She is dangling you along, albeit at arms length, so that if this new liason doesn't work out you will be her safety-net/plan-B. This is actually pretty common evolved female mating behavior.

2) You are subconsciously trying to deal with this by morphing into Captain Save a Ho. Don't. Instead, try finding some plates to spin of your own.
 

DJDamage

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styleman said:
She's still doing the same thing, messaging me then telling me not to reply... Anyone know what I should do??
In the words of Samual L. Jackson: "THIS IS SOME FVCKED UP REPUGNANT SH1T".

She is playing games with you and using you.

Its time to pick up the phone and with your manly voice calmly tell her: "Don't ever call me or message me again, we are done!, GOT THAT??!!".
 

J Roc

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Look! Up in the sky! Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No it's...Styleman!!!
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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