She slept with my friend

Cckybold

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Never get jealous when you see your ex with someone else because our parents taught us to give our used toys to the less fortunate..
 
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stringpuller

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What's going on guys

Looking at my previous thread (first ever one) you will see I have been on and off with this particular chick for around a year and half - LTR that reduced to seeing etc because of her going back and from her ex

We have recently started to meet again and F*ck etc go out for dates since around December last year

Long story short, it was my birthday Saturday - bumped into a friend of mine (female) who i hadn't seen for a number of years - she explained she couldn't keep it from me due to our loyalties and that my ex and my very good friend slept together whilst we were together

It was a night where we all went out for drinks and i introduced her to my friends (I fell ill) and went home half way through the night - she got the hump and explained she would be staying with my friends and staying out saying "It's my weekend off I'm not wasting it"

I left - i called the friend in question later on in the evening who said "Don't worry, I will look after her mate you have nothing to worry about with me here"

Day after called me in the morning to say he had put her in a taxi and she went home in the early hours, and that was that.

Turns out that wasn't the case, she went back to his house and f**ked him

I have confronted them both - they lied at first but the truth come out in the end.

Her response: "This wouldn't have happened if you didn't leave me in the pub- you left me high and dry"
"It happened, we instantly regretted it, decided never to speak about it again, not about me having a lot to lose but more so him having a lot to lose so we forgot about it"
"What can you do to me literally? Don't even think about threatening me because you cant do anything, your forgetting how much I know about you"
"Dont do anything stupid im not worth it"
"We were only seeing each other"

I must add this was around 9 months of us dating.

His response: "I cant change it, its happened, she put it on me, i was wasted, you put me on the spot and i couldn't admit to it when you called me, I'm sorry, where do we go from here"

"She didn't stay the night, look I'm gonna forget the details its going to hurt you"

Our mutual friends are disgusted, he lied to them all.

I am infuriated, i have never felt as sick, at the moment I'm struggling to deal with it and I keep having spurts where I feel I need to gain some revenge in some way or another, I have told him I'm going to roll him over when I see him, as for her we work together so I need to be more calculated with that approach

I would never have known.... they have kept a lid on this for so long - the lies, how has she sat there with this on her conscious for so long.

I am grateful for that friend of mine for at least being loyal and upfront with me. I'm so angry

Raw deal man it happens.
3 things to a piece of mind.

New job
New friend
New girl

In that order. And a few shots of bourbon.
 

jaymbrs

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I live and breath this. So do many men.

OP should now filter out his friends.

Take a deep good look internally and externally, reassess and decide on next course of action for action is needed.
I would disagree with this. I've lived by this for a loooong time only to realize that not many other guys do. It's every dog for himself.
 

mrgoodstuff

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I would disagree with this. I've lived by this for a loooong time only to realize that not many other guys do. It's every dog for himself.
So you should still want to be around them. Yea people can shyt on you.
 

jsim

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It was a night where we all went out for drinks and i introduced her to my friends (I fell ill) and went home half way through the night - she got the hump and explained she would be staying with my friends and staying out saying "It's my weekend off I'm not wasting it"

I am grateful for that friend of mine for at least being loyal and upfront with me. I'm so angry
Translation: she was going to get some d that night, whether it was yours or someone else's lol. How could you not see that?

As far as your friend who said he would take care of her, well, he did what he promised didn't he? lol

But yeah, you are emotionally unstable and immature. She is not your wife and you have no family, children or assets to protect here. But go ahead and confront him. You are on his radar and there is a good chance he is prepared to defend himself. I will admit it's a bit funny to see the internet tough guys goading you on. They are baiting you for their own entertainment.
 
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jsim

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She hit your ego. She knew what she was doing. From the start of it staying with your friends she was out of line.
He was already out. He's just in denial. She would've cheated on him eventually. He has a controlling, jealous, immature personality and this girl got off on baiting him. He's too easily triggered. It's like a kid chasing pigeons at the park or taunting animals at the zoo for a reaction. He almost certainly displayed a pattern of jealousy and emotional instability before this and she was poking at his weaknesses to amuse herself.

This is some weird, hillbilly, small town drama. No one with options would be going crazy like this.

I'm from America where we bomb FIRST lol
America is a pawn of the jews. US military action is a sign of our weakness, not our strength.
 

Spaz

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I would disagree with this. I've lived by this for a loooong time only to realize that not many other guys do. It's every dog for himself.
I've lived this way my entire life.

Sure there's many men who don't live by this code of conduct.

That doesn't mean I have to lower my value does it?

Because there's an even larger pool of men who admires me for it and would prefer to befriend me.

That's how I get to choose who becomes my friends.

Loyalty brings about plenty of privileges. I could fly from Asia to Europe or from Indonesia to Malaysia today and there's going to be people who will gladly fetch me at the airport or put me up at their house.
 

mrgoodstuff

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He was already out. He's just in denial. She would've cheated on him eventually. He has a controlling, jealous, immature personality and this girl got off on baiting him. He's too easily triggered. It's like a kid chasing pigeons at the park or taunting animals at the zoo for a reaction. He almost certainly displayed a pattern of jealousy and emotional instability before this and she was poking at his weaknesses to amuse herself.

This is some weird, hillbilly, small town drama. No one with options would be going crazy like this.



America is a pawn of the jews. US military action is a sign of our weakness, not our strength.
Do you think an emotionally mature and stable female wouldve played those games?
 

jsim

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Do you think an emotionally mature and stable female wouldve played those games?
I don't claim that she is or was. I'm pointing out that she told him flat out she was not leaving and therefore unambiguously signaled she would be out scouting for d. If she was loyal to him, she would've left with him. She didn't, and that was a clear, unambiguous sign not just to him, but to everyone present, that he was out.

In effect, she broke up with him right then and there. His only move at that point was to break off any emotional loyalty and look for another girl. The relationship was in effect over.

The terms "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" and "relationship" are all totally meaningless anyway. Unless you are married, there is no such thing as infidelity.
 

mrgoodstuff

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I don't claim that she is or was. I'm pointing out that she told him flat out she was not leaving and therefore unambiguously signaled she would be out scouting for d. If she was loyal to him, she would've left with him. She didn't, and that was a clear, unambiguous sign not just to him, but to everyone present, that he was out.

In effect, she broke up with him right then and there. His only move at that point was to break off any emotional loyalty and look for another girl. The relationship was in effect over.

The terms "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" and "relationship" are all totally meaningless anyway. Unless you are married, there is no such thing as infidelity.
Why would you marry someone who would do that tho. But they had been off and on for a while. Its that she fvcked his friend. A little messy. Theres no way with respect that couldve occured even if she was open to other dudes.
 
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jsim

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Why would you marry someone who would do that tho. But they had been off and on for a while. Its that she fvcked his friend. A little messy. Theres no way with respect that couldve occured even if she was open to other dudes.
When did I say he should marry her? Being "on and off" is irrelevant. My point is, there is no such thing as infidelity outside of marriage. If he had been married to her, yes, he has a right to be upset. But he was not, so he has no such right.

Having a "boyfriend" or a "girlfriend" doesn't entail rights or privileges of any kind. Either party can walk away at any time for any reason. That's exactly what she did. As a matter of fact, she was courteous enough to tell him straight up the relationship was over, she was a free agent and she was scouting for d.

But again, even if she hadn't, he has no basis for being angry. There was no legally or morally binding relationship there for him to get upset about.

My question to the OP (or anyone else for that matter): what legal or moral basis do you have for assaulting the man who had sex with a woman who is not your wife? That's right, none lol.
 

mrgoodstuff

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When did I say he should marry her? Being "on and off" is irrelevant. My point is, there is no such thing as infidelity outside of marriage. If he had been married to her, yes, he has a right to be upset. But he was not, so he has no such right.

Having a "boyfriend" or a "girlfriend" doesn't entail rights or privileges of any kind. Either party can walk away at any time for any reason. That's exactly what she did. As a matter of fact, she was courteous enough to tell him straight up the relationship was over, she was a free agent and she was scouting for d.

But again, even if she hadn't, he has no basis for being angry. There was no legally or morally binding relationship there for him to get upset about.

My question to the OP (or anyone else for that matter): what legal or moral basis do you have for assaulting the man who had sex with a woman who is not your wife? That's right, none lol.
Yea but i wouldn't want to keep hanging with a female that messy.
 

Alvafe

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I don't claim that she is or was. I'm pointing out that she told him flat out she was not leaving and therefore unambiguously signaled she would be out scouting for d. If she was loyal to him, she would've left with him. She didn't, and that was a clear, unambiguous sign not just to him, but to everyone present, that he was out.

In effect, she broke up with him right then and there. His only move at that point was to break off any emotional loyalty and look for another girl. The relationship was in effect over.

The terms "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" and "relationship" are all totally meaningless anyway. Unless you are married, there is no such thing as infidelity.
if term like BF GF and LTR are meaningless, why marriage would make it so? the last only happen with the first 3

When did I say he should marry her? Being "on and off" is irrelevant. My point is, there is no such thing as infidelity outside of marriage. If he had been married to her, yes, he has a right to be upset. But he was not, so he has no such right.

Having a "boyfriend" or a "girlfriend" doesn't entail rights or privileges of any kind. Either party can walk away at any time for any reason. That's exactly what she did. As a matter of fact, she was courteous enough to tell him straight up the relationship was over, she was a free agent and she was scouting for d.

But again, even if she hadn't, he has no basis for being angry. There was no legally or morally binding relationship there for him to get upset about.

My question to the OP (or anyone else for that matter): what legal or moral basis do you have for assaulting the man who had sex with a woman who is not your wife? That's right, none lol.
he shouldn't assault a guy because that would be bad for him, don't matter if he would win or not, having a criminal file is bad for you, unless he could do it and he would never see him comming and going and not one else would see, not likely

he should drop both and move on, the best part is pretty much these 2 made a nice suicide on they social circle, and if op is more important then he will still retain everyone and these 2 would be subtrated and lost in time
 

jnMissouri

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I don't know who all these people are who think their friends wont bang their girl or that their girl wont bang their friend. I hear these stories all day on the radio and read about them online all the time. Most of the people you call friends really aren't. And women are not to be trusted, period. I would never leave my girl alone at a bar. And I have boundaries about gf's going out to bars without me to begin with or staying behind without me. She was a sloot.
 

jnMissouri

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I have confided in him about this chick previously, i introduced her to my friends that evening as my woman, we were involved for 9 months at this stage and everyone was aware - we both agreed we weren't seeing anyone else

I'm not making excuses- I made a terrible error, terrible judgement call- i allowed this behaviour for not having respect for myself and I will address that, it has been toxic after toxic with this girl and i shouldn't have allowed it.

But in terms of him its completely unacceptable

He called me the same night and said don't worry I will take care of her- i will put her in a taxi and make sure she gets home.

This is proving very frustrating to me- she is showing no remorse or liability for her actions

Even the thought of an apology? Not a chance.
When I see him he will be dealt with.

The fact that she blames her cheating on YOU leaving her alone says all you need to know. She's an entitled moron. It's never her fault. It's always someone else. This way she can do what she wants and blame everyone else. Dated many sloots like them.
 
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Alvafe

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I don't know who all these people are who think their friends wont bang their girl or that their girl wont bang their friend. I hear these stories all day on the radio and read about them online all the time. Most of the people you call friends really aren't. And women are not to be trusted, period. I would never leave my girl alone at a bar. And I have boundaries about gf's going out to bars without me to begin with or staying behind without me. She was a sloot.
here is the deal you don't, only after it happen, but by then you drop then like a bad habit and move on, its all about character, that is what a person really is, that is what it tells you about a person, when no one is around and not one can see you still choose to do the right thing, that is when you prove you have character, that is when you prove you are trustworthy, both the girl and the dude failed, theya re garbage toss then in the can and move on
 

jnMissouri

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I don't claim that she is or was. I'm pointing out that she told him flat out she was not leaving and therefore unambiguously signaled she would be out scouting for d. If she was loyal to him, she would've left with him. She didn't, and that was a clear, unambiguous sign not just to him, but to everyone present, that he was out.

In effect, she broke up with him right then and there. His only move at that point was to break off any emotional loyalty and look for another girl. The relationship was in effect over.
I agree with this guy. Very astute observation.
 

jnMissouri

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here is the deal you don't, only after it happen, but by then you drop then like a bad habit and move on, its all about character, that is what a person really is, that is what it tells you about a person, when no one is around and not one can see you still choose to do the right thing, that is when you prove you have character, that is when you prove you are trustworthy, both the girl and the dude failed, theya re garbage toss then in the can and move on

Yeah, you do. The vast majority of guys would f your HB9 if they had the chance. It's our genetic programming. This concept of morality is only from the last few thousand years. Billions of years of evolution and genetics will override logic and morals 99% of the time.

For that reason I don't believe in men and women being able to be friends. Check my thread of the married DEVOUT religious girl buying me lunch, packing me lunches, flirting with me, talking about coming over to my place via text, etc. She doesn't eat pork or drink, but I'm sure if her husband saw our texts he would be PISSED.
 

jsim

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OP is a random wackjob who can't handle the fact that a girl broke up with him and is now looking to go kill the guy that was able to get laid. Good job.
 

shouldbefun

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I've lived this way my entire life.

Sure there's many men who don't live by this code of conduct.

That doesn't mean I have to lower my value does it?

Because there's an even larger pool of men who admires me for it and would prefer to befriend me.

That's how I get to choose who becomes my friends.

Loyalty brings about plenty of privileges. I could fly from Asia to Europe or from Indonesia to Malaysia today and there's going to be people who will gladly fetch me at the airport or put me up at their house.
Bro, you speak wise words. Maturity and masculinity at its core.

Dog eats dog, and then a wolf comes along and turns those both dogs into tasty meals. I have to say, its important to define yourself who you want to be and go work on being that guy. If you can't be friends, atleast you will earn their respect by being the proper type of guy.

It's a leadership thing being the mature guy. The pragmatic guy. Lots of self development and going into uncharted territory to be who you wish to be. Also it depends on how you want to sleep at night and how (a)moral you are. It's all about how integrity is important to you. Now I'm not saying go trust everyone but rather don't do something unpleasant if you can, because as one famous soldier said, you need to make some decisions because once you start firing, that bullet exiting your rifle can never be put back, and would you be willing to accept the responsibility behind bullet? Same thing with the decisions you decide to make. Another similar quote is "Don't spit the well you drink your water from".

Obviously there's more, how to find friends, and how to judge that they are a good fit but the main issue is guys think naively that once they make guy friends, they are their for life and they will never go after their girls, wives, mothers or sisters. No no that's not how the world works, treat every guy as a loaded gun that has a round in the chamber that you should treat carefully, and by carefully, I mean responsibly. Because if you start pointing that gun at people, and it's loaded, well you are going to have a bad day. On the other hand, a Man must be able to live in solitude and not count on anyone but himself.

Would have OP left his so called "girlfriend" alone in the bar, if there was no friend in that bar? Again its a hypothetical situation, but if you leave a guy or a girl, a friend or a wife, all alone, is that even considered normal? Again it could be said that this is a rhetorical question and theres so much to talk about on how should a guy behave, but I'll leave it at that. Indeed, would you leave a child at a bar or at a park all alone telling them go play, I'll see you tomorrow. Do you ask the local neighbor to look after your children, or a stranger to look after your bags at an airport. Probably not, so the first major error was why did he leave her? Because he got tired, or because he tried to not give a damn, but he did, by calling his friend and asking for an update. So does this mean, they weren't exclusive after all because if they were, a woman would go after her man, and a man would not leave his woman behind. 2+2=4 right not 5? Therefore they weren't exclusive and he expected her to be trustful when they probably didn't have the talk...
 
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