we've been going out for about a month. The chemistry is great, and she even confessed her feelings to me. Then a few days ago she told me, "Let's take it slow. I'm still fresh from a breakup and I need some time to put things in perspective. I can't promise you anything. You can see other women if you like." Well, I accepted her request and our interaction hasn't changed. But there's this fear in me that I might be being led on and there's a possibility that she'll leave me for another guy because she said she can't promise me anything. What should I do?
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
She said, "Let's take it slow, you can see other women." How should I react?
- Thread starter Fela Kuti
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
What you want to do, is to do as she suggested. Don't commit to pursuing her only - go look elsewhere for more quality women. Her interest level towards you is sitting on the fence.
The most 'attractive' move is to give her less of your time and attention, and show her that you've got an amazing life (full of other women) to tend to.
Cheers.
The most 'attractive' move is to give her less of your time and attention, and show her that you've got an amazing life (full of other women) to tend to.
Cheers.
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
bilboteabaggins
Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 6, 2011
- Messages
- 183
- Reaction score
- 5
might be a sh!t test as well
ignore her, pursue others, let her see this and she will most likely come around, if not who cares, you are with other broads
ignore her, pursue others, let her see this and she will most likely come around, if not who cares, you are with other broads
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
If you haven't had sex with her yet, she's probebly messing with you... Keeping ya around for when "The first plan" doesn't work. You sir are plan number two/three/... AKA the backup plan...
I can't say it better than ST_99 so I'll just quote
I can't say it better than ST_99 so I'll just quote
st_99 said:
EvilAgenda
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 10, 2009
- Messages
- 372
- Reaction score
- 21
Stupid sht test. Been there. Ignore it completely. Continue to interact with other women (as you would anyway), but don't do anything that your girl would consider cheating (as you would anyway), cuz that will bite you in the asz.
Hmm, this would be a red flag in my book. Sounds to me like she might not be over the ex yet. Most women, when they are completely done with a man, feel absolute no remorse over having dumped the guy.Fela Kuti said:
Proceed with caution, my friend.
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Gangster Of Love
Master Don Juan
RACK HIM!!!Allurre said:
+1
PrettyBoyAJ
Master Don Juan
You should already be pursuing other women since this isn't your girlfriend. You don't need her permission.
Ah, there's always some crucial information missing!Fela Kuti said:
Proceed with caution. Do not consider this girl for anything serious. "If she cheated on him with/for you, she will cheat on you with the next guy."
I don't know if this makes the cheating acceptable but she was already out of love with her bf for weeks before I made a move on her. She couldn't break up with him immediately because he's the clingy type and so persistent.vatoloco said:Ah, there's always some crucial information missing!
Proceed with caution. Do not consider this girl for anything serious. "If she cheated on him with/for you, she will cheat on you with the next guy."
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.