we've been going out for about a month. The chemistry is great, and she even confessed her feelings to me. Then a few days ago she told me, "Let's take it slow. I'm still fresh from a breakup and I need some time to put things in perspective. I can't promise you anything. You can see other women if you like." Well, I accepted her request and our interaction hasn't changed. But there's this fear in me that I might be being led on and there's a possibility that she'll leave me for another guy because she said she can't promise me anything. What should I do?
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
She said, "Let's take it slow, you can see other women." How should I react?
- Thread starter Fela Kuti
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
What you want to do, is to do as she suggested. Don't commit to pursuing her only - go look elsewhere for more quality women. Her interest level towards you is sitting on the fence.
The most 'attractive' move is to give her less of your time and attention, and show her that you've got an amazing life (full of other women) to tend to.
Cheers.
The most 'attractive' move is to give her less of your time and attention, and show her that you've got an amazing life (full of other women) to tend to.
Cheers.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
bilboteabaggins
Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 6, 2011
- Messages
- 183
- Reaction score
- 5
might be a sh!t test as well
ignore her, pursue others, let her see this and she will most likely come around, if not who cares, you are with other broads
ignore her, pursue others, let her see this and she will most likely come around, if not who cares, you are with other broads
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
If you haven't had sex with her yet, she's probebly messing with you... Keeping ya around for when "The first plan" doesn't work. You sir are plan number two/three/... AKA the backup plan...
I can't say it better than ST_99 so I'll just quote
I can't say it better than ST_99 so I'll just quote
st_99 said:
EvilAgenda
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 10, 2009
- Messages
- 372
- Reaction score
- 21
Stupid sht test. Been there. Ignore it completely. Continue to interact with other women (as you would anyway), but don't do anything that your girl would consider cheating (as you would anyway), cuz that will bite you in the asz.
Hmm, this would be a red flag in my book. Sounds to me like she might not be over the ex yet. Most women, when they are completely done with a man, feel absolute no remorse over having dumped the guy.Fela Kuti said:
Proceed with caution, my friend.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Gangster Of Love
Master Don Juan
RACK HIM!!!Allurre said:
+1
PrettyBoyAJ
Master Don Juan
You should already be pursuing other women since this isn't your girlfriend. You don't need her permission.
Ah, there's always some crucial information missing!Fela Kuti said:
Proceed with caution. Do not consider this girl for anything serious. "If she cheated on him with/for you, she will cheat on you with the next guy."
I don't know if this makes the cheating acceptable but she was already out of love with her bf for weeks before I made a move on her. She couldn't break up with him immediately because he's the clingy type and so persistent.vatoloco said:Ah, there's always some crucial information missing!
Proceed with caution. Do not consider this girl for anything serious. "If she cheated on him with/for you, she will cheat on you with the next guy."
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.