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She said, "Let's take it slow, you can see other women." How should I react?

Fela Kuti

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we've been going out for about a month. The chemistry is great, and she even confessed her feelings to me. Then a few days ago she told me, "Let's take it slow. I'm still fresh from a breakup and I need some time to put things in perspective. I can't promise you anything. You can see other women if you like." Well, I accepted her request and our interaction hasn't changed. But there's this fear in me that I might be being led on and there's a possibility that she'll leave me for another guy because she said she can't promise me anything. What should I do?
 

Allurre

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What you want to do, is to do as she suggested. Don't commit to pursuing her only - go look elsewhere for more quality women. Her interest level towards you is sitting on the fence.

The most 'attractive' move is to give her less of your time and attention, and show her that you've got an amazing life (full of other women) to tend to.

Cheers.
 

Tesl

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Yep, this sounds like a good thing to me.
 

AlexDP

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It sounds as a good thing to you? Man, when a woman talks, you have to listen. Don't just hear the words she says, but listen. If she's okay with you seeing other women, she's not interested in you. It's that simple.
 

Fela Kuti

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AlexDP said:
It sounds as a good thing to you? Man, when a woman talks, you have to listen. Don't just hear the words she says, but listen. If she's okay with you seeing other women, she's not interested in you. It's that simple.
well, this girl is an exception. she allowed her past boyfriends to go out with other women as long as they're honest about it.
 

bilboteabaggins

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might be a sh!t test as well

ignore her, pursue others, let her see this and she will most likely come around, if not who cares, you are with other broads ;)
 

st_99

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what should you do?

Continue to live your life, flirt and interact with other girls and let the chips fall where they may. That is all.
 

vatoloco

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What concerns me is the reason WHY she told you this. Did you ask for exclusivity? Did you hint at a relationship? Or did she tell you out of the blue?
 

Fela Kuti

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vatoloco said:
What concerns me is the reason WHY she told you this. Did you ask for exclusivity? Did you hint at a relationship? Or did she tell you out of the blue?
because the ex is still bitter about her leaving him for me (kinda). so she still feels guilty and want to clear that guilty feeling first.
 

Die Hard

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What's that phrase again? ''agree and amplify'' or something...
 

Credos

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If you haven't had sex with her yet, she's probebly messing with you... Keeping ya around for when "The first plan" doesn't work. You sir are plan number two/three/... AKA the backup plan...

I can't say it better than ST_99 so I'll just quote



st_99 said:
Continue to live your life, flirt and interact with other girls and let the chips fall where they may. That is all.
 

EvilAgenda

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Let's take it slow. I'm still fresh from a breakup and I need some time to put things in perspective. I can't promise you anything. You can see other women if you like
Stupid sht test. Been there. Ignore it completely. Continue to interact with other women (as you would anyway), but don't do anything that your girl would consider cheating (as you would anyway), cuz that will bite you in the asz.
 

vatoloco

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Fela Kuti said:
because the ex is still bitter about her leaving him for me (kinda). so she still feels guilty and want to clear that guilty feeling first.
Hmm, this would be a red flag in my book. Sounds to me like she might not be over the ex yet. Most women, when they are completely done with a man, feel absolute no remorse over having dumped the guy.

Proceed with caution, my friend.
 

Fela Kuti

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vatoloco said:
Hmm, this would be a red flag in my book. Sounds to me like she might not be over the ex yet. Most women, when they are completely done with a man, feel absolute no remorse over having dumped the guy.

Proceed with caution, my friend.
I guess I just have to tell you the complete facts. She cheated on him for me. So there's where the remorse came from.
 

Rogue

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She's a slut. Yes, a slut. No matter what you think, she's a slut. Just keep that in your mind.
 

Gangster Of Love

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Allurre said:
What you want to do, is to do as she suggested. Don't commit to pursuing her only - go look elsewhere for more quality women. Her interest level towards you is sitting on the fence.

The most 'attractive' move is to give her less of your time and attention, and show her that you've got an amazing life (full of other women) to tend to.

Cheers.
RACK HIM!!! :up: +1
 

PrettyBoyAJ

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You should already be pursuing other women since this isn't your girlfriend. You don't need her permission.
 

vatoloco

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Fela Kuti said:
I guess I just have to tell you the complete facts. She cheated on him for me. So there's where the remorse came from.
Ah, there's always some crucial information missing! ;)

Proceed with caution. Do not consider this girl for anything serious. "If she cheated on him with/for you, she will cheat on you with the next guy."
 

Fela Kuti

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vatoloco said:
Ah, there's always some crucial information missing! ;)

Proceed with caution. Do not consider this girl for anything serious. "If she cheated on him with/for you, she will cheat on you with the next guy."
I don't know if this makes the cheating acceptable but she was already out of love with her bf for weeks before I made a move on her. She couldn't break up with him immediately because he's the clingy type and so persistent.
 

Alle_Gory

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Rogue said:
She's a slut. Yes, a slut. No matter what you think, she's a slut. Just keep that in your mind.
I disagree. This could indicate she's a slut but we need more information to know for sure.
 
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