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She Never Contacts, Unless I Contact Her First!

soulforge

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So I'm trying to bang this girl.. However she never reaches out to me.. But if I text her she always replies back.

She even flirts etc, talks dirty etc.. But I seem to be doing 99% of the work.

I have decided today to back the fuk off.. She either starts to make some effort, or I simply walk away & persue other woman.

Doesn't seem worth it, to be making all the effort, as the sex rarely pays off the loss of dignity.
 

spikeanut

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There isn't any loss of dignity in merely reaching out to a woman. You are a man, men lead. However, the loss in dignity comes in the context of your messages, versus the responses she provides. Unless a woman is extremely interested in you (typically after you have banged), you are merely another contact on their phone to keep them interested. But that is the name of the game. OP, have you met this girl in person yet? Any type of physical escalation? Would need to know more of the dynamic before we can appropriately state you are losing any of your dignity in your pursuit of this bang.
 

soulforge

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There isn't any loss of dignity in merely reaching out to a woman. You are a man, men lead. However, the loss in dignity comes in the context of your messages, versus the responses she provides. Unless a woman is extremely interested in you (typically after you have banged), you are merely another contact on their phone to keep them interested. But that is the name of the game. OP, have you met this girl in person yet? Any type of physical escalation? Would need to know more of the dynamic before we can appropriately state you are losing any of your dignity in your pursuit of this bang.
OK so this is a girl I was kinda seeing around a 13-14 months ago.

We had sex once, had a couple of sexual encounters.. Even back then I was doing most of the reaching out.

Eventually I got bored of having to ask her to meet & her rarely contacting me.

So I simply walked away.. She recently reached out to me after barley speaking to each other for maybe 6 months.

She has mentioned getting together for some sex soon when she has some free time.

The problem is.. If I don't text her first & keep things ticking along, she simply doesn't get back in touch.. So for the past four weeks I have messaged her once or twice a week, and she hasn't reached out to me even once.

When I message her, she is flirty and talks dirty, but not able to get a date yet.

It seems like, I have to keep reaching out, or the whole thing will just die out.

I rather let it die, than jump through hoops to keep this sloot on the hook.
 

soulforge

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Please don't tell me this is the same woman at work you got BJs from but she would never come over to bang

I got my final BJ off her around 2 months ago.. However with this new strain of covid in the UK, I made a decision not to have random fun with her anymore.. It's not worth getting ill over.

She is still a possibility to bang, however I definitely wouldn't bang her, till she has a covid test first.. Which is something that is unlikely she will do... So I decided to drop the whole thing
 

Lookatu

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OK so this is a girl I was kinda seeing around a 13-14 months ago.

We had sex once, had a couple of sexual encounters.. Even back then I was doing most of the reaching out.

Eventually I got bored of having to ask her to meet & her rarely contacting me.

So I simply walked away.. She recently reached out to me after barley speaking to each other for maybe 6 months.

She has mentioned getting together for some sex soon when she has some free time.

The problem is.. If I don't text her first & keep things ticking along, she simply doesn't get back in touch.. So for the past four weeks I have messaged her once or twice a week, and she hasn't reached out to me even once.

When I message her, she is flirty and talks dirty, but not able to get a date yet.

It seems like, I have to keep reaching out, or the whole thing will just die out.

I rather let it die, than jump through hoops to keep this sloot on the hook.
Dude sounds like you need to hone your AW and low IL meter more. Why messing around with old plates making it hard for you? Go after ones that make it easy. You essentially let her string you along enough to invoke thought and emotions enough to post on this. If SHE wanted to have sex with YOU, she would be doing all the work. NOT the case here obviously.

Drop her and move on and don't let desperation let you do stupid things like entertaining AW.
 

soulforge

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Dude sounds like you need to hone your AW and low IL meter more. Why messing around with old plates making it hard for you? Go after ones that make it easy. You essentially let her string you along enough to invoke thought and emotions enough to post on this. If SHE wanted to have sex with YOU, she would be doing all the work. NOT the case here obviously.

Drop her and move on and don't let desperation let you do stupid things like entertaining AW.
Already done man.. I stopped all contact with her two weeks ago.. It's no major loss, she's a 7 at best.. And doesn't really have fuk all going for herself.
 

soulforge

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It's better when they wait on your call or text
Absolutely.. I could see things was getting uneven communication wise.. So I decided to pull back.

Since I pulled back, I haven't heard from her in 10 days..

However I don't give A fuk.. Got 2-3 other girls lined up.

Will only be a matter of time till she starts looking for attention from me again..
 

zinc4

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So I'm trying to bang this girl.. However she never reaches out to me.. But if I text her she always replies back.

She even flirts etc, talks dirty etc.. But I seem to be doing 99% of the work.

I have decided today to back the fuk off.. She either starts to make some effort, or I simply walk away & persue other woman.

Doesn't seem worth it, to be making all the effort, as the sex rarely pays off the loss of dignity.

Until u **** her it doesn't matter. Dont take it personal. Bang and then assume the power. Ether that or just drop her.
 

Murk

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OK so this is a girl I was kinda seeing around a 13-14 months ago.

We had sex once, had a couple of sexual encounters.. Even back then I was doing most of the reaching out.

Eventually I got bored of having to ask her to meet & her rarely contacting me.

So I simply walked away.. She recently reached out to me after barley speaking to each other for maybe 6 months.

She has mentioned getting together for some sex soon when she has some free time.

The problem is.. If I don't text her first & keep things ticking along, she simply doesn't get back in touch.. So for the past four weeks I have messaged her once or twice a week, and she hasn't reached out to me even once.

When I message her, she is flirty and talks dirty, but not able to get a date yet.

It seems like, I have to keep reaching out, or the whole thing will just die out.

I rather let it die, than jump through hoops to keep this sloot on the hook.
Ok so this comprehensive breakdown after your orginal post shows me you are already in your feelings but trying to hide it

You already know if she's not showing the interest levels you keep it moving, so what is this thread for really?
 

Bigpapa

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OK so this is a girl I was kinda seeing around a 13-14 months ago.

We had sex once, had a couple of sexual encounters.. Even back then I was doing most of the reaching out.

Eventually I got bored of having to ask her to meet & her rarely contacting me.

So I simply walked away.. She recently reached out to me after barley speaking to each other for maybe 6 months.

She has mentioned getting together for some sex soon when she has some free time.

The problem is.. If I don't text her first & keep things ticking along, she simply doesn't get back in touch.. So for the past four weeks I have messaged her once or twice a week, and she hasn't reached out to me even once.

When I message her, she is flirty and talks dirty, but not able to get a date yet.

It seems like, I have to keep reaching out, or the whole thing will just die out.

I rather let it die, than jump through hoops to keep this sloot on the hook.
it is irrelevant if she reaches out or not , as long as you are escalating and she is ok with that

what she does when you reach out to her is more important than her reaching out to you or not

stop the communication for the sake of communication and escalate till she sits naked next to you
 

AfterTheParty

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You just need to not contact her until she contacts you.

Seriously, stop ****ing contacting her and see how long it takes her to reach out to you. Do this a couple of times - this will tell you everything...
 

BeExcellent

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Advice from the old lady:

Some women are not going to initiate early on. They will respond but not initiate. If she is one of these she is reluctant to assume the male role of leading. So be a dude & reach out & ask her out. If she is warm & responsive? She likes you but is looking for a man who will take the lead & make a move. So do it.

Women like this are receptive to men who take initiative. Otherwise they think you don’t like them well enough and they move on to another man who shows initiative.

I myself am that way. I don’t chase after men. It feels too masculine and forward to a feminine lady. I will show my caring through responsiveness, warmth, receptiveness and I will be fun pleasant company. But I will not run after a man screaming “Pick Me!” “Pick Me!”...that feels too masculine, too overt, and puts the man in a receptive/submissive stance...which kills attraction.

I want to be the girl in the interaction. So too do lots of other women. Be the man so the woman can be your feminine complement.

Men who expect to be chased and who expect me to lead & initiate are not decisive men in my book. I’d rather wait for a man who knows what he wants and makes a move. And there are many feminine women who are waiting for the same thing...even in today’s day & age.
 

Bigpapa

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Advice from the old lady:

Some women are not going to initiate early on. They will respond but not initiate. If she is one of these she is reluctant to assume the male role of leading. So be a dude & reach out & ask her out. If she is warm & responsive? She likes you but is looking for a man who will take the lead & make a move. So do it.

Women like this are receptive to men who take initiative. Otherwise they think you don’t like them well enough and they move on to another man who shows initiative.

I myself am that way. I don’t chase after men. It feels too masculine and forward to a feminine lady. I will show my caring through responsiveness, warmth, receptiveness and I will be fun pleasant company. But I will not run after a man screaming “Pick Me!” “Pick Me!”...that feels too masculine, too overt, and puts the man in a receptive/submissive stance...which kills attraction.

I want to be the girl in the interaction. So too do lots of other women. Be the man so the woman can be your feminine complement.

Men who expect to be chased and who expect me to lead & initiate are not decisive men in my book. I’d rather wait for a man who knows what he wants and makes a move. And there are many feminine women who are waiting for the same thing...even in today’s day & age.
Really good post :)

you wait for her to contact you if she had a nasty attitude
 
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