"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Read more...

she has a kid. what do i do?

rocco

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 18, 2003
Messages
203
Reaction score
3
I met this girl, she's cute. but on a first date she wanted to bring her kid along. what's the right thing to do?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

squirrels

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 15, 2003
Messages
6,620
Reaction score
186
Age
47
Location
A universe...where heartbreak and sadness have bee
Thank her for establishing up front that she's trying to find a father for her kid, instead of trying to con you into liking her first and then springing it on you.

And if that's not your thing (and it sounds by the way you posted like it's not), I agree with all posters above.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

jophil28

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 18, 2006
Messages
5,216
Reaction score
278
Location
Gold Coast. Aust.
Geez do you really need us to tell you what to do.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 10, 2003
Messages
15,481
Reaction score
65
Location
Galt's Gulch
rocco said:
I met this girl, she's cute. but on a first date she wanted to bring her kid along. what's the right thing to do?
What are you going to do, babysit?
 

rocco

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 18, 2003
Messages
203
Reaction score
3
Francisco d'Anconia said:
What are you going to do, babysit?
yeah i agree. i told her we should get together some other time when she has someone to babysit the kid.. i don't mind hanging out with her family, but i'd like to get to know her first.
 

Gangster Of Love

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 27, 2002
Messages
2,574
Reaction score
66
Age
52
Location
Los Angeles
She can bring her kid a long, if you want, after you have bagged her, and when you go over to her house to eat from what she cooks for you.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

rocco

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 18, 2003
Messages
203
Reaction score
3
has anyone been in a situation like this before? where a girl you met and like, wants to see how you get along with her family first? how'd you handle it? and how'd the relationship go?

so far this has happened to me once before. when this girl i met, she wanted me to go on dates with her to her church on the first few dates... i was like okay..
man.. that never worked out.. lol
 
Last edited:

joekerr31

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 20, 2005
Messages
3,394
Reaction score
110
Age
52
ok, ill be serious here.

if you like kids then whats the big deal.

heck, if you like kdis and dont mind being a temporary daddy - assuming you get along with the kid - you've got about a 98% chance of getting laid.

and no, i would not meet a womans family on a first date. a first date is designed for me to qualify her - NOT the other way around.
 

Latinoman

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 21, 2006
Messages
4,028
Reaction score
58
The issue is not the child per se. I know men that like kids and that's their prerrogative.

The HUGE issue here is bringing her child on the first date. I expect a woman to be protective of her child and not expose the child to the first man she meets. It shows lack of judgement on her part.

Do you want to be with a woman that shows such lack of judgement?

I personally avoid as much as possible women with children (or minor kids). And I'm 39. But that's my personal preferrence.
 

MatureDJ

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 30, 2006
Messages
12,740
Reaction score
5,157
It's very obvious that this woman places a very high value on her man taking up the provisioner role for her family. That the biological father is not the provisioner is of no concern to her (I think Rollo Tomassi mentioned this as the dichotomy of the short and long term mating strategies that the typical single mommy ascribes.)

This woman seems to be going as far as to test her suitor in this provisioning role by not offering up any individual intimacy.

I just have one question - are you that much of a desperate loser to put with this behvavior?
 

“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”

You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.

I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.

Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.

These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.

Read more...

rocco

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 18, 2003
Messages
203
Reaction score
3
MatureDJ said:
I just have one question - are you that much of a desperate loser to put with this behvavior?
fuc u dic! i just met her like a few days ago. this sh1t was out of the blue, i didnt know she was going to want to bring her kid to our first date. fuc u
 

Francisco d'Anconia

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 10, 2003
Messages
15,481
Reaction score
65
Location
Galt's Gulch
rocco said:
has anyone been in a situation like this before? where a girl you met and like, wants to see how you get along with her family first? how'd you handle it? and how'd the relationship go?..
If it's really soon it's typically a woman who holds her family's opinion above her own. It could be problematic.
 

decades

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 3, 2004
Messages
1,223
Reaction score
35
Location
sf ca
It's a major Red Flag when a woman wants you to meet the child on date #1. They hardly get any more red. Drop the plate.
 

GamePlan

Senior Don Juan
Joined
May 2, 2007
Messages
219
Reaction score
2
I think you have to think about this yourself.

If you ask such a question on here the answer you'll get is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Almost everybody will tell you "Dont do it", because most people's goal on here (at least of those who post) is scoring with (many) women. And in that case a woman with a kid only means trouble.

It's a bit like going to the KuKluxKlan and asking if you should be friends with non-white people despite their skin color LOL. The answer is obvious.

I think you really have to think about this yourself. It's your life so you decide what to do with it.

Let me tell you something else, though. On a website of my collge (theres a forum, too) a young woman with a child asked a question like that, too..she seemed to be pretty sad, b/c finding a man was obviously so much harder for her as she had already found out that most men are opposed to that idea.

I think your chick knows the same thing and maybe that has something to do with her introducing her child to you on day 1. I mean her baby is not a puppet to her or a toy (at least I hope so), so she can only look for men who she thinks would make a good father to her child/accept the fact that she has a child..I dont see anything wrong with that. Like somebody said its definitely better than telling you about that after the first couple dates like "hey btw, I got a kid"...

However, I agree that she shouldnt bring it to your first dates..and you shouldnt hang out with her family on your first date...maybe she's way overdoing?

But anyways, I think it really depends on what your goals with the other gender are.

For example, I probably wouldnt date a woman who has a kid at the moment, because I still want to get laid with other chicks and all and getting with a woman who has a kid means long term relationship.

But if I was say in my late 20's or early 30's and I really liked the chick and all I don't think it would be that big of an issue if everything else was great. A friend of mine is 28 and married to his long time girlfriend and has 2 kids and enjoys that way of life...

I really think you have to find out what you want yourself, because if you ask this here or take advice from this forum the answer is pretty obvious as most people who post on here are into working on their game and scoring with chicks.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

Top