"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
she has a kid. what do i do?
- Thread starter rocco
- Start date
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
2nd that, run
squirrels
Master Don Juan
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And if that's not your thing (and it sounds by the way you posted like it's not), I agree with all posters above.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
jophil28
Master Don Juan
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
What are you going to do, babysit?rocco said:
Gangster Of Love
Master Don Juan
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
so far this has happened to me once before. when this girl i met, she wanted me to go on dates with her to her church on the first few dates... i was like okay..
man.. that never worked out.. lol
penkitten
Master Don Juan
if you like kids then whats the big deal.
heck, if you like kdis and dont mind being a temporary daddy - assuming you get along with the kid - you've got about a 98% chance of getting laid.
and no, i would not meet a womans family on a first date. a first date is designed for me to qualify her - NOT the other way around.
The HUGE issue here is bringing her child on the first date. I expect a woman to be protective of her child and not expose the child to the first man she meets. It shows lack of judgement on her part.
Do you want to be with a woman that shows such lack of judgement?
I personally avoid as much as possible women with children (or minor kids). And I'm 39. But that's my personal preferrence.
MatureDJ
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 30, 2006
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- 5,157
This woman seems to be going as far as to test her suitor in this provisioning role by not offering up any individual intimacy.
I just have one question - are you that much of a desperate loser to put with this behvavior?
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
If it's really soon it's typically a woman who holds her family's opinion above her own. It could be problematic.rocco said:
If you ask such a question on here the answer you'll get is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Almost everybody will tell you "Dont do it", because most people's goal on here (at least of those who post) is scoring with (many) women. And in that case a woman with a kid only means trouble.
It's a bit like going to the KuKluxKlan and asking if you should be friends with non-white people despite their skin color LOL. The answer is obvious.
I think you really have to think about this yourself. It's your life so you decide what to do with it.
Let me tell you something else, though. On a website of my collge (theres a forum, too) a young woman with a child asked a question like that, too..she seemed to be pretty sad, b/c finding a man was obviously so much harder for her as she had already found out that most men are opposed to that idea.
I think your chick knows the same thing and maybe that has something to do with her introducing her child to you on day 1. I mean her baby is not a puppet to her or a toy (at least I hope so), so she can only look for men who she thinks would make a good father to her child/accept the fact that she has a child..I dont see anything wrong with that. Like somebody said its definitely better than telling you about that after the first couple dates like "hey btw, I got a kid"...
However, I agree that she shouldnt bring it to your first dates..and you shouldnt hang out with her family on your first date...maybe she's way overdoing?
But anyways, I think it really depends on what your goals with the other gender are.
For example, I probably wouldnt date a woman who has a kid at the moment, because I still want to get laid with other chicks and all and getting with a woman who has a kid means long term relationship.
But if I was say in my late 20's or early 30's and I really liked the chick and all I don't think it would be that big of an issue if everything else was great. A friend of mine is 28 and married to his long time girlfriend and has 2 kids and enjoys that way of life...
I really think you have to find out what you want yourself, because if you ask this here or take advice from this forum the answer is pretty obvious as most people who post on here are into working on their game and scoring with chicks.
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.