"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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She has a boyfriend, so what.

BB123

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I've been talking to this girl for about 3 months and she has a boyfriend but she slept with me anyways the first night we met. So I've seen her a three or four times sense then; getting drinks and back to my place once. Anyways I keep initiating contact rarely does she however I always get a quick response and she seems very interested.
Recently I invited her to and activity and she said she wanted to go but had to work. Pretty clear she was upset she couldn't come because of work. I also figure that she is having issues with the boyfriend at this point. I cut the conversation saying I would take her when she was free but I failed to set the date at that time. She reallllllly wanted to go.
So a day or two later I thought I should probably set the date...and she will not respond suddenly.
I think I should have been more aggressive when I found out she was fighting with her boyfriend and invited her out then because she couldn't come to the date. Or could she just be testing me to see if I will react? I like the girl but I'm not sure how to react? Wait a few more days? Or ask her what is wrong? I know her current relationship is a bit rocky. Could just be something going on.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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BB123

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If she is having relationship issues should I be more available or less?
 

taiyuu_otoko

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BB123 said:
If she is having relationship issues should I be more available or less?

less. Any overt conversations about her relationship with her boyfriend, and you may come across as trying to be his replacement. Unless you want to, avoid those kind of conversations, lest you become the rebound boyfriend.

lay back for a while, and look around for other girls in the meantime.

let her come to you. don't be needy.
 

BB123

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Well I have tried that before and waited two weeks. She won't initiate contact; only once back when we first met. If I go a week or two without texting her I find out she wants me to contact her through her friends or facebook. I don't know what to make of it.
 

SecondHalf

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BB, make sure it's just about fun, and make sure she's not your only option.

If you have serious designs on this chick for a long term relationship, you'll end up with a liar and a skank.

You would merely be another branch is her hypergamous journey to the top.


SH
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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hockeyfreak79

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BB123 said:
I've been talking to this girl for about 3 months and she has a boyfriend but she slept with me anyways the first night we met. So I've seen her a three or four times sense then; getting drinks and back to my place once. Anyways I keep initiating contact rarely does she however I always get a quick response and she seems very interested.
Recently I invited her to and activity and she said she wanted to go but had to work. Pretty clear she was upset she couldn't come because of work. I also figure that she is having issues with the boyfriend at this point. I cut the conversation saying I would take her when she was free but I failed to set the date at that time. She reallllllly wanted to go.
So a day or two later I thought I should probably set the date...and she will not respond suddenly.
I think I should have been more aggressive when I found out she was fighting with her boyfriend and invited her out then because she couldn't come to the date. Or could she just be testing me to see if I will react? I like the girl but I'm not sure how to react? Wait a few more days? Or ask her what is wrong? I know her current relationship is a bit rocky. Could just be something going on.

She cheated on her BF with you and you think her relationship is a bit rocky? Could be something going on. Wow

She sabotage her relationship dude, she is not a quality chick. SMH
 

Scaramouche

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Dear BB123,
She sounds like she is really worth going that extra yard for!
 
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