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She disappeared, Im puzzled

Mbuckets82

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If you’re a man of abundance why do you care? Guess who ain’t thinking about you right now? Her. This stings but we all gotta hear it. I appreciate your updates.
 

malz1

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Update: she answered.
“thank you too!

I have a really stressful time right now. I would like to see you in the future. Thanks for two lovely summer days. Take care”

I don’t want to be the guy who grasps for straws. I feel that’a a polite blow off.

however I want to add some context. usually dont date ppl like her:
Straight A:s, scholarship student. Nerdy chick who basically only hangs out With her family.
she is a pro athlete,she’s gonna compete in the national championship in a month or so. Don’t know if that changes anything.
never dated women like this.


about the dating app. She gave me her digits and said she was deleting the app when I had called her.no way to know if that’s true or not tho.She’s gone from happn at least.

Appreciate your replies so far guys!
She's with another guy or became less attracted to you. I've had HIGH honor students with jobs, tutoring, competitions etc still blow my phone up. And college athletes etc typically go out to party very often. Also girls go from 100 to 0 so often in these new times that it's become a recognized community phenomenon. You just haven't experienced it personally before being that you were in a relationship. Now you will, often. Move on.
 

Lynx nkaf

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Hello SoSuave!

Ill try and keep my story breif but informative. I know there might not be a clear answer to this question but this has left me puzzled and I'd like some input.

Got hit up by a girl on a dating app, she asked to see me the same day. I said, sure after work is fine. However we ended up meeting up the day after.
She was not really my type when we met but she seemed genuine and interesting so I moved along. A coffee date turned into a house warming party and later to sex. We hit it off quite well and I was pleased with how she complimented me on my looks and my company and the sex was awesome. "I really enjoy being here with you" "its so great to have you here". A really good first date impression. Also I might be abit more succeptive to that behavior since I quite recently dumped my GF of 3 years.

Anyway, she kept talking in terms of "next time yada yada". We parted ways the day after. I contacted her 2 days later saying, "Hey, I actually had a fun night the other day, believe it or not ,) I want to see you again, when are you free?"

She was going away for a week, which ended up being two weeks. She kept in touch, initiating all conversation during this time, I just focused on setting an appointment / asked her to reach out when she knew she was avaliable.
She was very keen on making her interest known: such as
"Im really glad you called me the other day. looking forward to seeing you."
"Sorry I havent gotten back to you yet, I will let you know as soon as I know when we are leaving"
"*sends pictures of activities*"
I kept answering in a timely manner being brief and adding some witty remarks to keep it more interesting. We didnt have a text conversation in that sense.

Anyway, two weeks has gone by, she texts me in the morning, I call her up an hour later. She picks me up an hour later for our second date. We spend the day and she is still very affectionate, laughing, touching, complimenting. I was thinking that things were moving faster than usual but hey maybe thats just how she is.
We spent the day on a beach, went home to have lunch and take a "nap". She drove me home later and talked in terms of "next time we can do x" and "you should really watch this documentary, I want to hear what you have to say about it!"
10 minutes after she dropped me she texts me a link to the documentary and says "Im really looking forward to your opinions! thanks for a great day!"
I replied "so do i! thanks, name, it sure was a nice day. Appreciate the initiative!"

This was on sunday. I was slammed with work, other women and dates. I prefer calling so I hadn't reached out. I gave her a call after work on wednsday. No answer.
I sent an accompanied text: "hey, name! thanks for the other day! *made a joke refering to something we laughed about last time*, I want to see you again, lets get together."

Now it's saturday, still not heard back from her. And Im really puzzled.

My gut was telling me something was off not sure what to make of it.

I feel like calling her again, but thats just me being needy I guess.

Im just thrown off because I've never had this happen to me where a girl show high interest and then go from 100 to zero. Not even a reply that is.

But I want to know if you think it was a mistake to discuss the following:
She was advocating some documentary saying that men will become obsolete. I just chuckled and said, men will never become obsolete, not the men "in demand". Looking at tinder statistics, sure we are already there somewhat, but the high value guys will always have their pick.
Also I think women are more relationship oriented, based on experience.
She said: so all women you meet want a relationship with you?
Even tho that wasnt what I meant I just shruged and said: "yeah!" in a ****y funny way with a smirk.

However, I ended up dropping some red pill on her in that discussion which made her a bit stunned. Which I regret bcus those topics tend to be abit too heavy for a second date. Big mistake? is it severe enough to get ghosted, opinions?

Can it be that she took offense that I took "so long" to reach out, assuming she had high interest.

Feel free to roast me, I want to improve.
I always look at the cycle.

Say you met her in person on Sat July 12th, the day of the housewarming party and sex with her.
You wrote 2 weeks go by; you see her again in person at the height of premenstrual syndrome and she wants to discuss heavier, potentially schitttesting subjects like documentaries and relationships from your point of view.
She's currently menstruating and will contact you a few days after last blood and it will be a weekend she's free again, so I guesstimate this Friday she will insist on meeting you.

and she'll be wanting sex....
(before "all men are obsolete" -her words that you wrote about) It'll be High ovulation time!


Wednesday or so she'll start with the sexy/flirty texts to seduce you again and get you primed.


This is all just a guess.
 

Focal core

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I always look at the cycle.

Say you met her in person on Sat July 12th, the day of the housewarming party and sex with her.
You wrote 2 weeks go by; you see her again in person at the height of premenstrual syndrome and she wants to discuss heavier, potentially schitttesting subjects like documentaries and relationships from your point of view.
She's currently menstruating and will contact you a few days after last blood and it will be a weekend she's free again, so I guesstimate this Friday she will insist on meeting you.

and she'll be wanting sex....
(before "all men are obsolete" -her words that you wrote about) It'll be High ovulation time!


Wednesday or so she'll start with the sexy/flirty texts to seduce you again and get you primed.


This is all just a guess.
Sounds like a pattern to me.. It doesnt flow well like human natural behavior/interaction, which paradoxical to any human potential and growth. Talk about aberrant behavior.
 

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stringpuller

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Hello SoSuave!

Ill try and keep my story breif but informative. I know there might not be a clear answer to this question but this has left me puzzled and I'd like some input.

Got hit up by a girl on a dating app, she asked to see me the same day. I said, sure after work is fine. However we ended up meeting up the day after.
She was not really my type when we met but she seemed genuine and interesting so I moved along. A coffee date turned into a house warming party and later to sex. We hit it off quite well and I was pleased with how she complimented me on my looks and my company and the sex was awesome. "I really enjoy being here with you" "its so great to have you here". A really good first date impression. Also I might be abit more succeptive to that behavior since I quite recently dumped my GF of 3 years.

Anyway, she kept talking in terms of "next time yada yada". We parted ways the day after. I contacted her 2 days later saying, "Hey, I actually had a fun night the other day, believe it or not ,) I want to see you again, when are you free?"

She was going away for a week, which ended up being two weeks. She kept in touch, initiating all conversation during this time, I just focused on setting an appointment / asked her to reach out when she knew she was avaliable.
She was very keen on making her interest known: such as
"Im really glad you called me the other day. looking forward to seeing you."
"Sorry I havent gotten back to you yet, I will let you know as soon as I know when we are leaving"
"*sends pictures of activities*"
I kept answering in a timely manner being brief and adding some witty remarks to keep it more interesting. We didnt have a text conversation in that sense.

Anyway, two weeks has gone by, she texts me in the morning, I call her up an hour later. She picks me up an hour later for our second date. We spend the day and she is still very affectionate, laughing, touching, complimenting. I was thinking that things were moving faster than usual but hey maybe thats just how she is.
We spent the day on a beach, went home to have lunch and take a "nap". She drove me home later and talked in terms of "next time we can do x" and "you should really watch this documentary, I want to hear what you have to say about it!"
10 minutes after she dropped me she texts me a link to the documentary and says "Im really looking forward to your opinions! thanks for a great day!"
I replied "so do i! thanks, name, it sure was a nice day. Appreciate the initiative!"

This was on sunday. I was slammed with work, other women and dates. I prefer calling so I hadn't reached out. I gave her a call after work on wednsday. No answer.
I sent an accompanied text: "hey, name! thanks for the other day! *made a joke refering to something we laughed about last time*, I want to see you again, lets get together."

Now it's saturday, still not heard back from her. And Im really puzzled.

My gut was telling me something was off not sure what to make of it.

I feel like calling her again, but thats just me being needy I guess.

Im just thrown off because I've never had this happen to me where a girl show high interest and then go from 100 to zero. Not even a reply that is.

But I want to know if you think it was a mistake to discuss the following:
She was advocating some documentary saying that men will become obsolete. I just chuckled and said, men will never become obsolete, not the men "in demand". Looking at tinder statistics, sure we are already there somewhat, but the high value guys will always have their pick.
Also I think women are more relationship oriented, based on experience.
She said: so all women you meet want a relationship with you?
Even tho that wasnt what I meant I just shruged and said: "yeah!" in a ****y funny way with a smirk.

However, I ended up dropping some red pill on her in that discussion which made her a bit stunned. Which I regret bcus those topics tend to be abit too heavy for a second date. Big mistake? is it severe enough to get ghosted, opinions?

Can it be that she took offense that I took "so long" to reach out, assuming she had high interest.

Feel free to roast me, I want to improve.
Probably over pursuit OP. she already felt she had you.
And i would stay away from a woman who watches that kind of shyt.

Even if you get s first date smash don't pursue. Your texts sounded a bit too feminine.
You had the perfect opportunity to spin her hamster and flip the dynamic and i think you missed it.
Next time they initiate contact. I think the girl should be the one hitting you up for #2. If she doesn't its a next. Actions over words.
 

Toddz

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You text and communicate with her way way too much. Most men do and while you think you're being courteous and polite, you're actually killing the mystery and with it her natural instinct to pursue you.

All communication with date/plates/fwb should be kept to an absolute bare minimum. You should only be messaging each other to setup plans and that's it. All other communication is meaningless and pointless, it adds nothing to your life except her becoming predictable, familiar, and comfortable with you, which is an attraction killer.

Delete her number and forget about her. If she hits you up again, then apply my advice.
 

Randolph

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I always look at the cycle.

Say you met her in person on Sat July 12th, the day of the housewarming party and sex with her.
You wrote 2 weeks go by; you see her again in person at the height of premenstrual syndrome and she wants to discuss heavier, potentially schitttesting subjects like documentaries and relationships from your point of view.
She's currently menstruating and will contact you a few days after last blood and it will be a weekend she's free again, so I guesstimate this Friday she will insist on meeting you.

and she'll be wanting sex....
(before "all men are obsolete" -her words that you wrote about) It'll be High ovulation time!


Wednesday or so she'll start with the sexy/flirty texts to seduce you again and get you primed.


This is all just a guess.
Interesting that you bring up this. 2nd date was actually during shark week. I usually don't consider these things but we'll see what happens.

You text and communicate with her way way too much. Most men do and while you think you're being courteous and polite, you're actually killing the mystery and with it her natural instinct to pursue you.

All communication with date/plates/fwb should be kept to an absolute bare minimum. You should only be messaging each other to setup plans and that's it. All other communication is meaningless and pointless, it adds nothing to your life except her becoming predictable, familiar, and comfortable with you, which is an attraction killer.

Delete her number and forget about her. If she hits you up again, then apply my advice.
Ty for the input. I'll try this.

Probably over pursuit OP. she already felt she had you.
And i would stay away from a woman who watches that kind of shyt.

Even if you get s first date smash don't pursue. Your texts sounded a bit too feminine.
You had the perfect opportunity to spin her hamster and flip the dynamic and i think you missed it.
Next time they initiate contact. I think the girl should be the one hitting you up for #2. If she doesn't its a next. Actions over words.
Haha, indeed!

Now that you mention it, you are right about the texts.

What was the opportunity you saw for flipping the script, could you elaborate?
 

Randolph

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If you’re a man of abundance why do you care? Guess who ain’t thinking about you right now? Her. This stings but we all gotta hear it. I appreciate your updates.
Sure stings but it's good to hear. It's nice to hear when guys pick apart what I've done.
I obv needed a reality check on this one!
 

Randolph

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I've seen some different approaches, if you like could you please advocate your approach to this and why its good. Previous success?

Some say: leave the door open, text "hey thats cool, lmk if things change. take care" or something along those lines. And move on.
Other camp is: just don't do anything. Delete number and move on!

I mean they are not very different approaches but if you would just give me your 5 cents on why you prefer one over the other.

I personally, in this case, deleted her number. Assuming I'll never hear from her again. This because I'm usually more on the side of leaving the door open. I want to try something different this time.
 

stringpuller

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What was the opportunity you saw for flipping the script, could you elaborate?
Not contacting her after you fcked her.
She can get secs anywhere.
You are the relationship holder. Withhold it. There hand is the puzz. You already got that and then you jumped right into marriage mind...what will our kids look like
 

Randolph

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Not contacting her after you fcked her.
She can get secs anywhere.
You are the relationship holder. Withhold it. There hand is the puzz. You already got that and then you jumped right into marriage mind...what will our kids look like
Right.

Rofl, yea.
 

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Rainman4707

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Read the first few paragraphs. Judge her by her actions.
Yes, she had sex with you. Then after that she was saying how much she likes you, but didnt actually see you for weeks. Yes...she may have been on holiday or something.

You had sex with her...be calm after that...you appear to be getting all worked up over her.
 

Lookatu

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If you're high value enough for them to have sex with you, just be glad for that and let everything else fall into place. No need to overthink or invest and let them come to you since you already had sex. Just continue seeking out others to have sex with and eventually one of them will latch onto you and make you feel wanted and treat you like a king. At that point, you can decide if you have enough chemistry with this gal to continue and evolve it into a relationship or not.

I generally find girls that are quick to sex, have buyer's remorse majority of the time as they get to know you more outside of the sexual chemistry and realize they made an error in their judgement.
 

GearsGod310

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I know it might be tough because you've had sex and good times with her on your dates.
But the best thing you can do in this situation when she's pulling away is just to let it be man, give her space, all the space in the universe. Don't reach out to her anymore.
Either way if you start pursuing and texting her that you wanna keep seeing her she will forsure lose interest in you.
You can't go wrong will pulling back yourself, it might even raise her interest in you and she MIGHT reach out. But this is not set in stone.
Last year I banged a very cute white girl off tinder on our first date and the next day she blocked me off all social media. (the sex was great btw) Then I texted her and asked what was up? And she said she was over the dating scene. All I said was Hey, no worries I completely understand and I hope all goes well with her. Never talked to her since.

Women are weird. Sometimes they just want to get d1ked down and thats it. A one time thing, nothing more. And you have to accept that.
Sometimes they'll disappear because they got back with their ex or they'll go cold after giving you some azz just to if you'll chase like a little puppy.

I think you were being a little too nice with the " hey thanks for the other day " I would personally never thank her. Maybe after you guys catch up after the date and if it comes up just say " hey the other day was fun! " thats about it.

Never talk to a woman about red pill.

Whatever the case may be you can NOT go wrong with walking away.
 

jaymbrs

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The most common thing I read in stories like this is a random vacation taking place at some point. I'm betting going on vacation just means "I'm out banging 5 other guys and need to schedule your turn at a later time" (whenever the vacation ends). Take note fellas.
 
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