Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
This is just cheap. The OP has already spent more on groceries and labor than the cost of a date. Just so he wouldn’t have to take her out on a date.
This girl still has interest, and has told you what she wants very clearly.
"The market"..... there is a market for simps, a market for beta-providers and a market for the 20%.
They have not had any “legit” dates. Cooking at the house is not considered a “legit” date. They want to be taken out in public. It doesn’t have to be dinner; activities such as bowling or miniature golf suffice.
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
No, you guys are severely overvaluing yourselves in the market. You had a thread about dropping a girl because she refused to come to your place before having a date. And you want OP to do the same. Not qualified to be giving anyone dating advice...
They had their 1st date in public.
Faulty argument. OP has already paid.
No trouble for me getting triple digit lays in the “provider market” you speak of over the last 6 years.
Not in this context. They don’t consider the first coffee date a “legit” date.
Not taking them out ever leaves a lot of bangable girls on the table. All for what? To save $50?
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
I dont care what the women you score on consider to be a legit date.
I agree with this.
Nobody said that they are not taken out EVER.
Who cares? One mans 8 is another mans 5.
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
Sounds like she is forcing you into her frame which obviously you don't. Your approach should be either she enters your frame, gives way to your sexual advances, and complies or there is the door. Sounds a bit rough but it's been five dates brother, you've lost grip on this one. Get the upper hand or move on.What's up guys.
My original post about this chick is here for reference:
Do I give her a 4th date?
What's up guys. Tonight I had a third date with this chick I'm seeing. First date we met at a local coffee shop and made out at the end of the date. Second date she came to my place and I cooked dinner and she brought wine. We escalated and were making out on the couch, but after sucking on...
Anyways, to leave off from that post. She came over for the 4th date Monday night. This time, since my strategy of escalating things on my couch had not worked in the past, I decided to act aloof and indifferent. I still made out with her, kissed her neck, etc., but she still seemed a bit guarded and I was not going to attempt to escalate again and have her slow things down.
I called her on her bluff and said "Well, it's getting late, etc., etc." And she seemed surprised that I actually was calling it a night. I walked her out and when she got home she texted me:
HER: "I had a lot of fun tonight as always! I'm just going to say out loud here I think next time I'm going to need to take advantage of you.."
ME: "Take advantage, huh?"
HER: "Yes, exactly how you read it. But you hit me with the 'it's getting late.'
We cont. to banter a little back and forth and I covertly called her out on the fact that this was our fourth date and she really hadn't shown any signs of 'taking advantage' of me before. I mean seriously, actions speak louder than words and this 22 y.o. girl is not going to lead me into believing she was just going to pounce on me. If she wanted to - there was plenty of opportunity...
I end up inviting her to my place this Friday. We joked about how it would be her turn to cook dinner next time and after my invitation she said "do you want to go out though?"
ME: "Wow. Are you actually trying to get out of making us dinner? I'm surprised."
HER: "We've never gone out!"
ME: "We will sometime. I want to try your cooking. I'll bring the alcohol this time. If you ask nicely I'll even be your sous chef
HER: "I get very mixed signals from you."
ME: "How's that?"
HER: You just don't want to go out with me, that's fine!!"
ME: "Well that's not true. I believe the first time we met it was in public?" (We went to get coffee date #1)
HER: "Yes that is true but I've suggested to go out and you've kinda avoided the subject."
This is when I got fed up and just stopped responding. I have had plenty of other plates who have been fine coming over, cooking together, hanging out at my place, etc., and never once questioning this. If a girl is truly into me, I feel like she shouldn't care what we are doing.
My interpretation: she is a 22 y.o. that may be a little full of herself and is getting fed info from her 21 y.o. sister who has a beta BF, or her other gal pals. Her and her sister are really close and I could see her sister and/or friends telling her "I wouldn't fuuck him unless he takes you out or buys you dinner." To me, if she doesn't appreciate the fact that I have cooked for her 3 times now (one of the times we cooked together), then she's getting nexted. We still have yet to fuuck, nor have I gotten head.
What do you think guys? Am I being a little too stubborn? Should I just take this girl to dinner as it will potentially end in sex? At this point, for me, I feel like I would totally lose frame if I gave into her demand for me to take her out to dinner, and I could go through all of that and still not get laid.
Jesus. That’s what the market demands. This girl is making the same demand that was suggested to the OP in the last thread. I reckon she’s been complaining about a date from the start. The “why” is simple; a date is the social contract that has been established by society. Had he took the broad out on date #2 when it is customary to do so this isn’t even a conversation.
That's how I feel man. Definitely get a lot of princess vibes from her. Wealthy family, just bought a new handbag "because I deserved it", etc. That's why I feel like I have done plenty for this chick so far with nothing in return.
Nah, I don't want a LTR with her and I have other plates right now. I think it may be best to cut my losses too!
Princesses are only good for SNL or date 2 lays at best. Otherwise, you will always lose. Live and Learn...
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.