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She can't let me go

Gamisch

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Wrote about her many times. Last time she wasnt feeling it. I told her its fine. Then she wanted back in though.

Flipped out at her, like a ugly serious flip . Told her to never contact me again. So she came over to suck me dry, bought me dinner ect.

Wtf? Telling me she just cant let me go. I dont know how to feel besides sexually satisfied for now..

Just when I planned Monk mode by taking a break from women and being fine with it ,I seem to get attention from all these ladies.
 

Dr.Suave

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Is this an ex wife?
 

Gamisch

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Is this an ex wife?
Ex long termer.

We want what we don’t or can’t have. Once we get it, it slowly loses value.

You could work this angle. Pull away and get sucked back, pun intended.
Exactly this . Normally I'd be happy like a puppy, and shower such a woman with affection, thinking its a save bet to let my guard down.

But now I'm somewhat skeptical about this all. What happened is she saw some of my improvements on a physical, mental and financial level. Hard to put it in words, but I am not trying to make this more than it is.
 
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Dr.Suave

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Fock her as much as you want, just dont agree to any exclusivity and you should be fine
 

Pierce Manhammer

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SPOT ON:
You guys are trauma bonded
When I first learned of trauma bonding a lot of things in my past, that had remained a mystery suddenly were crystal clear.

Trauma bonding is when one person in a relationship is often mean or abusive, but still, an emotional tie develops. The abuser swings between being nasty and nice, messing with the victim's head and creating a hard-to-quit cycle of fear and relief.

This toxic bond can seriously damage a person, leaving them feeling trapped. They may struggle with low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, and in really bad cases, even PTSD. Sometimes, victims might even defend their abuser, making it way harder to get the help they need.

But no matter how tough it seems, it's super important to break free. This means recognizing the abuse, getting help, and finding supportive friends or groups. Therapists can offer ways to cope and help build up self-esteem. Support groups can provide a shoulder to lean on, which is really needed during the healing process.

Understanding trauma bonding is the first step towards stopping it and getting better.

As DJ’s some of us use concepts of trauma bonding in order to attract women that we want to keep around. We should be very mindful that the same things can be done to us karma is a mother.
 

Murk

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I just think as humans God intended us to cleave to one woman, it's very natural you don't want to let her go, we are programmed to be with one woman and raise a family. It's why my ex gf and me were on and off 5 years, part of me still loves her, it's just nature.

Unless they are terrible people or do something wrong to you - you will not fully want to leave them.
 

BillyPilgrim

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Ex long termer.



Exactly this . Normally I'd be happy like a puppy, and shower such a woman with affection, thinking its a save bet to let my guard down.

But now I'm somewhat skeptical about this all. What happened is she saw some of my improvements on a physical, mental and financial level. Hard to put it in words, but I am not trying to make this more than it is.
Man, these Catholic broads are dramatic, and you're on a continent full of them. Can you take a job on the Falkland Islands? The Gallapogos?
 

Peaks&Valleys

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Flipped out at her, like a ugly serious flip . Told her to never contact me again. So she came over to suck me dry, bought me dinner ect.
The Alpha Dog inside you reared it's beautiful/ugly head. She recognized it and responded in kind.
 

Stoic

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I just think as humans God intended us to cleave to one woman, it's very natural you don't want to let her go, we are programmed to be with one woman and raise a family. It's why my ex gf and me were on and off 5 years, part of me still loves her, it's just nature.

Unless they are terrible people or do something wrong to you - you will not fully want to leave them.
Agreed that God intended us to cleave to one women. It's best for society.

But, we are not 'programmed' to be with one woman. Fully functioning, healthy libido, male will desire a variety of women. Weather they act on that desire or not, depends on the man's values and self control.
 

Barrister

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Gamisch,

This woman is a classic narcissist Cluster B type. I too had a toxic ex that I had a lot of trouble letting out of my life who had these qualities. She was a fellow attorney, HB 8-8.5, very smart, but otherwise toxic in every way. Every time I told her I was ready to end things, a full court press of affection and hot makeup sex ensued for a good 2 week period. Slowly, things fell back into the bad state they were in before and it was the same sh1t all over again.

Do yourself a favor and cut her out cold turkey. You are only making things harder on yourself. The sex I am sure is mind-blowing because there is such a strong tie there, but you have to sever that to start healing. This is going to be a battle for you and I feel sorry you have to go through it, because even a man who is fully red pilled is not immune to this kind of thing.

You will get through it. But you need to go NO CONTACT and stay in it for a minimum of 3 months IMO. Give yourself the space. See other women too in the meantime. It will remind your d1ck there is more pvssy out there than just this one.
 

LTG71

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SPOT ON:


When I first learned of trauma bonding a lot of things in my past, that had remained a mystery suddenly were crystal clear.

Trauma bonding is when one person in a relationship is often mean or abusive, but still, an emotional tie develops. The abuser swings between being nasty and nice, messing with the victim's head and creating a hard-to-quit cycle of fear and relief.

This toxic bond can seriously damage a person, leaving them feeling trapped. They may struggle with low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, and in really bad cases, even PTSD. Sometimes, victims might even defend their abuser, making it way harder to get the help they need.

But no matter how tough it seems, it's super important to break free. This means recognizing the abuse, getting help, and finding supportive friends or groups. Therapists can offer ways to cope and help build up self-esteem. Support groups can provide a shoulder to lean on, which is really needed during the healing process.

Understanding trauma bonding is the first step towards stopping it and getting better.

As DJ’s some of us use concepts of trauma bonding in order to attract women that we want to keep around. We should be very mindful that the same things can be done to us karma is a mother.
This is an excellent explanation. I know a narcissist female exactly like this. Like a roller coaster ride. Today she reaches out after ghosting for about a week. She says, “You were probably mad that I didn’t reach out.“ Quite the contrary, it’s been peaceful not dealing with your shenanigans. She’ll love bomb for a day and then leave again. Not remotely curious what I’ve been up to. Just like a junkie going back to a dealer for another hit. Break the trauma bond with no contact as much as you can. The last time she ghosted me on my birthday and 2 weeks later finally sends a text saying she was busy. Yeah, busy not giving a sh!t.
 

Pierce Manhammer

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This is an excellent explanation. I know a narcissist female exactly like this. Like a roller coaster ride. Today she reaches out after ghosting for about a week. She says, “You were probably mad that I didn’t reach out.“ Quite the contrary, it’s been peaceful not dealing with your shenanigans. She’ll love bomb for a day and then leave again. Not remotely curious what I’ve been up to. Just like a junkie going back to a dealer for another hit. Break the trauma bond with no contact as much as you can. The last time she ghosted me on my birthday and 2 weeks later finally sends a text saying she was busy. Yeah, busy not giving a sh!t.
Yup I had to do it with a chick that was like one of my hottest, I miss her fine ass but the grief she brought to the table was too much. I didn’t realize just how much till I showed her the door and experienced the ensuing peace…
 

JustnTime

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This is an excellent explanation. I know a narcissist female exactly like this. Like a roller coaster ride. Today she reaches out after ghosting for about a week. She says, “You were probably mad that I didn’t reach out.“ Quite the contrary, it’s been peaceful not dealing with your shenanigans. She’ll love bomb for a day and then leave again. Not remotely curious what I’ve been up to. Just like a junkie going back to a dealer for another hit. Break the trauma bond with no contact as much as you can. The last time she ghosted me on my birthday and 2 weeks later finally sends a text saying she was busy. Yeah, busy not giving a sh!t.
I hope you have the proof bc I got tons to show really who is who. I'm NOT the porn actor narcissist that YOU are!!!
 

Gamisch

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Gamisch,

This woman is a classic narcissist Cluster B type. I too had a toxic ex that I had a lot of trouble letting out of my life who had these qualities. She was a fellow attorney, HB 8-8.5, very smart, but otherwise toxic in every way. Every time I told her I was ready to end things, a full court press of affection and hot makeup sex ensued for a good 2 week period. Slowly, things fell back into the bad state they were in before and it was the same sh1t all over again.

Do yourself a favor and cut her out cold turkey. You are only making things harder on yourself. The sex I am sure is mind-blowing because there is such a strong tie there, but you have to sever that to start healing. This is going to be a battle for you and I feel sorry you have to go through it, because even a man who is fully red pilled is not immune to this kind of thing.

You will get through it. But you need to go NO CONTACT and stay in it for a minimum of 3 months IMO. Give yourself the space. See other women too in the meantime. It will remind your d1ck there is more pvssy out there than just this one.
You are absolutely right. Getting rid of this woman is like trying to drown a ball; the harder I push the faster she comes right back. To stay within this analogy; only a firm cut will do. I know that. I Tried it, as I described in a previous post .

The thing I've also noticed is that as long as she lingers around I am emotionally unavailable to other women. The pattern is we fight, break up and next thing I'm rebounding with a "random" woman. This woman will like me ,but get tired of my lack of effort. Meanwhile I am "pulling a no contact " on ex gf, making her hamster spin and somehow she always catches me with some new, temping promise. "You'll just watch football while you get your d sucked all day". And then she back im the picture.

Yeah ,this one needs to go. But she literally told me she wont go without a figurative fight. Seems like the biggest fight is with myself though...
 

Sigmapocalypse

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I understand why guys remain in toxic relationships. Its an unfortunate result of low self esteem and lack of confidence and self respect and ultimately low vibes aka scarcity mentality. @Gamisch your biggest fight with yourself couldnt be more true.
 
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