"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Giantsfan88

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Anybody ever date a girl for a few weeks, pursue her too much, been a little needy, then she backs away or "not ready for a relationship," only to have her come back in a month or two and you get back together and/or bang?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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hera

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Actually going through this with a guy right now.

He's been doing this to me every three months or so over the past year. I finally got sick of his flippant behavior, and advanced on him hard.

He told me I was hot, exactly his type, but started shaking when it came time for sex and said he couldn't do it.

Next.
 

hera

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I've always shown interest. I believe he is still hung up over an ex, and has some moral issues regarding sex.

I'd rather a guy be up front vs. play games. I was literally on top of him when he broke down and said he couldn't go through with having sex. Mind boggling.

He commented: "what, are you not used to being turned down?".

I found that comment odd considering he never asked about my prior history.

Whatever happened to "hey I like you, but you're not what I'm looking for."

Nice and easy. Sigh.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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GS750

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So...you find a guy whose into you who shows mutual interest. There's plenty out there. If he's hung up on an ex, nothing you can do about it. It's the same thing as if a girl is hung up on her ex...nothing but brain damage. Hot/cold behavior is fvcking annoying. Avoid.
 

logicallefty

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hera said:
He commented: "what, are you not used to being turned down?".
So how did you respond to this?
 

hera

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I responded with a quizzical look and nervous laughter: um, I don't put myself in this position with guys often, so no I'm not used to this.

I jumped off him, and then we cuddled the remainder of the evening and talked. Making out, heavy touching, etc. He claimed again and again that he wanted me, but just couldn't do it.

Something tells me he just wants to be able to say "I denied you".

I kinda wanted to break out in song/dance and split...
So long, farewell!
Auf Wiedersehen, goodnight!
 

mrpickles666

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Hera, if a guy makes a definite date with you but you say you will confirm and he agrees, do you feel like he's letting you boss him around and is weak? And on the day of the date, if you back out last minute, and he said he didn't think you were coming and he already made plans because of your lack of confirmation, would you think the guy thinks he's unworthy of you?

Please give me a brutally honest answer.
 

hera

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You created a separate thread on that topic, to which I already commented.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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logicallefty

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hera said:
Something tells me he just wants to be able to say "I denied you".
You want to know what I think Miss? You don't? Great, so here is what I think:

I think you getting denied by a man blew your mind. I think it's still eating you alive to this day. Your hamster isn't spinning, it staggered off the wheel and went and got hit by a train. :yes:
 

hera

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logicallefty said:
You want to know what I think Miss? You don't? Great, so here is what I think:

I think you getting denied by a man blew your mind. I think it's still eating you alive to this day. Your hamster isn't spinning, it staggered off the wheel and went and got hit by a train. :yes:
A year in the making and I was ready to forsake all others for him too. :down:
 

TheGambino

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yes until the part of coming back and nailing her, if you were too needy clingy whatever most hb8s hb9s so very good looking girls will have no interest level at all and already found a new guy. The average to ugly ones could come back because of lack of interested guys
 

logicallefty

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hera said:
A year in the making and I was ready to forsake all others for him too. :down:
You are not denying that it's bothering you. Kudos. :up:

Has a man ever turned you down for sex before, ever?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

hera

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logicallefty said:
You are not denying that it's bothering you. Kudos. :up:

Has a man ever turned you down for sex before, ever?
No. But, a turn down while I'm mid-straddle? Come on.

Stings for me, but I'm sure his reasoning (whatever is may be) is sound.

I hope I don't develop a complex...
 

logicallefty

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hera said:
No. But, a turn down while I'm mid-straddle? Come on.

Stings for me, but I'm sure his reasoning (whatever is may be) is sound.

I hope I don't develop a complex...
I've turned down sex from my significant others, at times in their birthday suits and ready to romp, because:

- I knew I was not clean

- I knew she was not clean

- I was really b@lls azz tired from a long day at work

- I didn't want my kid to hear us

- I didn't have a jimmy suit

- The biggest one of all, she had been a flat out b|tch lately and was temporarily unattractive at the time

So you think guys should never turn it down huh?
 

hera

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logicallefty said:
I've turned down sex from my significant others, at times in their birthday suits and ready to romp, because:

- I knew I was not clean

- I knew she was not clean

- I was really b@lls azz tired from a long day at work

- I didn't want my kid to hear us

- I didn't have a jimmy suit

- The biggest one of all, she had been a flat out b|tch lately and was temporarily unattractive at the time

So you think guys should never turn it down huh?
I'm sure his reasoning (whatever is may be) is sound.

Regarding the complex comment, I was being facetious, easily misinterpreted on a forum.

Thank you for the input. :)
 

logicallefty

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hera said:
I'm sure his reasoning (whatever is may be) is sound.

Regarding the complex comment, I was being facetious, easily misinterpreted on a forum.

Thank you for the input. :)
Yep
 

hera

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Update: Sealed the deal two nights ago after four months. :rockon:

Chump.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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