"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Shady Number Situation

MagikDude

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I would do a search on this, but I'm not even sure what to search, since this is pretty weird, it's not really date related, but kind of is too, either way, it's pretty weird, and I've never dealt with this kind of judgement before.......

At work the other day, I was starting to make friends with a client, to whom the subject got onto how new I was to the location and it turns out by coincidence me and his daughter just moved into the same apartments, now he showed me a picture, she's between an 8 or a 9 on a 10 scale, said it was not to hook us up necessarily, and said that he asked her if it was okay to give me her number, I agreed to take it, but I'm wondering if I should actually call, it might be fun, but on the other hand..........

This lady has never seen me before in her life as far as I know, and there's no telling she'll remember her dad mentioned me if I call up this Friday if I feel like going out and doing something new. But there is always that small risk that I could get into trouble, it's not like she told me the number directly. Nothing too important though, since I already have some other chicka's I've been talking to anyway, but I figured it'd be interesting to hear a DJ view on this.

The pointed questions being............

- Should I take a risk of her not remembering me being mentioned, and maybe expand my social circle some if all goes well. I'm not so much worried about rejection as the questions and legal reprecussions, becuase hey, people forget.

- Or, this is too shady and should be left alone, I don't want to come across as some loon, for all she knows I'm a greasy balding fat guy in his momma's basement.

I dunno, this is the first time I've dealt with "phone tag", ive done LDR's, I've done Internet Dating, and I've dealt with some weird set-up's in my full-blown-AFC days, but this is weird beyond recognition to me. Is it worth the challenge and potential learning experience, or are the costs of the risk too high?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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GloriouslyInsane

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You say she's your neighbor and you know how she looks,well "accidentally" meet her around the neighborhood and do as you would do an cold-approach..then say "I know you from somewhere" and then "your dad.." etc...If she does not show interest before "i know you..." or you find out you don't really like her too next her,throw away the # and move on.
 

MagikDude

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Wow, that was fast.

Funny part is I hardly remember how she looks, all I really remember is her hair and that she was around an 8-9 (though I understand that photos are never as telling as "in-the-flesh" is). I was actually meaning to put that idea in there, though mine was just to let fate take it's course and if we never meet up somewhat, oh well, there's others. Still quite a weird situation that's for sure.
 

GloriouslyInsane

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I know for sure an instance a friend of mine was trying to hook up a girl with another friend of mine,now friend 2 did not know how she looked in flesh and the pic friend 1 had was overrating her, from 4 she looked a 7 (b&w face only shot)
 

MagikDude

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GloriouslyInsane said:
I know for sure an instance a friend of mine was trying to hook up a girl with another friend of mine,now friend 2 did not know how she looked in flesh and the pic friend 1 had was overrating her, from 4 she looked a 7 (b&w face only shot)
What you described was exactly how I found this site, had a blind date, fell for a dud, got screwed around, came here, realized that the problem was the girls I was dating and not me. I'm a little iffy of "set ups" and blind dates because of that very fact alone. It's like buying a musical instrument without playing it first, more than likely you'll end up with a real dud on your hands.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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GloriouslyInsane

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You should always see the possibilities of everything,going to a "blind-date" does not mean that automatically you have to hook up with that girl,she may have some hot friends. :D
 

MagikDude

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Lol, I get your point....

Learning from her though, I got an 8/10 the next go around just by talking, was an LTR, but felt more like a f***buddy relationship since that's mostly all we did, and that was about 3 months after I found this site, which would be about 3-4 years ago. Actually, that's kind of what I was thinking about hooking up with this "Apartment chick", because if not her, I could meet some new friends of hers or even date one of em', which is a good thing, since I'm pretty much starting over from a clean slate now. New home (FIRST home), new life, lovin it woman or not.
 
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