Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Sh1tty upbringing

anonymous12345

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I grew up with a single mother that, although not a practicing christian, had those values and strongly humanistic. It was the mentality during the time I lived there. As a result I should in first grade take care of a handicapped girl, because, essentially, “Your life is not important, one should devote oneself to others”. I was quite normal, I just wanted to play football with the other boys. Plenty of examples of those things.

Turned into a light lone wolf because I couldn’t be with boys, later on jumped into the abstract world of programming. It is absurd. When I grew up I should of course study gender science, an education in being friend with and simping for women. She did all she could at molesting a young boy.

I got a lot of weight on my shoulders as a young boy. My parents weren’t divorced, but my biological dad chose to live in a different country. So I got the responsibility to handle a grown woman, that was literally stronger than me. There was actually blood in that place. She was a woman with here usual swings, and I realize now with Tomassi etc., she did sh1t tests on me as I was young a teenager. I wasn’t strong enough to handle that. When I moved/fled from home at 17 she cried. My biological dad was a joke. Practicing Christian, cuddles with cats, eats ice cream and candy, and buys every year a book about his teenage idol.

So now there is me, that might have a chance at starting to somewhat appreciate life at the age of 38. A wasted life. It is anger but mostly a lot of pain. The only good thing, which is a good thing, is that I’ve built value, for some reason I’ve worked hard. Good Boy. I’ve also somehow had some kind of assertiveness and appreciation of self indirectly, through proxies by valuing appearance, for instance. Despite all sh1t I wasn’t completely destroyed, there was a man that bowed but never completely or final, and that now somewhat stand up. I don’t know if it’s too late, tbh. It is a lot of pain on a daily basis, and to be honest I’m not really present, although it appears so. Unfortunately it happens though one of the areas which defines a man most, sex. I have troubles asserting me in that area. It’s f0cked up when the most difficult thing to do is to value what one wants, likes and enjoys.
 
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bmp2cpm

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At 38 you haven’t hit your peak value yet. Plenty of time accomplish what you want to do.

Regarding s*x…

When you find a girl you like that likes you back, and it comes to bedroom…just say “It takes me a while to get comfortable in the bedroom. Don’t misinterpret this as a lack of desire for you, I just need time to get comfortable with you.”

If the girl really likes you, she will work her as* off to make sure you desire her in bed. Just lay back and enjoy while she does most of the work.

You’re a smart guy but do not overthink s*x. With the right person who you have intense chemistry, both your brains turn off and nature does its thing.

If you have to think about ever second and play by play in bed, you probably have zero chemistry with that girl and should move on.

Pro tip: the girls you have intense chemistry with are the ones you want to go into relationships with. Relationships with zero chemistry are doomed from the start.
I think that was the question you were asking
 

Stanley

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First part of change is acceptance of where you are at. There is no to time wasted, only lessons learned. You seem like you know where you lack so you should know where to go. Vent it out then ditch the victimhood and start doing **** for yourself and yourself alone if you can. You got it brother, only going up from here
 

BackInTheGame78

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It sucks you didn't have the greatest upbringing but the good news is that your future life doesn't have to burdened by your past.

You get to make that decision ultimately.

Anger, hatred, any other negative emotion only will bring you down to your lowest version of yourself if you remain in this type of state for too long a time.

Let it go. Not for her, for you. You can never progress to your best self while having that mentality.
 

RazorRambo24

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The problem is not that you're 38 and had a "****ty upbringing".. The problem is you convinced yourself of that for far too longi instead of breaking the cycle and implementing great change early on.

The problem with life is, as humans tend to give meaning to everything to better understand life around us-- that we tend to give the wrong ideas to our own life and blame certain things and then feed into those negative thought loops, which begin to form our beliefs about ourselves and our lifes and prevent us from going further than we can.

It's now time for you t o look in the mirror and say "im not going to be a ***** anymore and blame my upbringing or my parents.. I'm going to make a change and focus more on what i want out of life, than what i dont have".. Thats when you sit down and implement a game plan.
 
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