"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Sexual Chemistry - help!

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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sacgrad

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I went out on date 3 with this girl. We make out, she enjoys it. We spend 4 hours together and then when she's leaving, I asked to be invited to her house.. she said "Im still not sure yet.. about the sexual chemistry". I dont feel the sexual tension but so love hanging out with you". Then says "I am very selective and you are an awesome guy - but I need some time". She also said " I need to talk to my friend & guide". This seemed a bit weird. I told her that this decision should be hers. Also told her whatever she decides is fine.. she just needs to make a decision...

What am I supposed to think/do?
 

TheCWord

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sacgrad said:
I went out on date 3 with this girl. We make out, she enjoys it. We spend 4 hours together and then when she's leaving, I asked to be invited to her house.. she said "Im still not sure yet.. about the sexual chemistry". I dont feel the sexual tension but so love hanging out with you". Then says "I am very selective and you are an awesome guy - but I need some time". She also said " I need to talk to my friend & guide". This seemed a bit weird. I told her that this decision should be hers. Also told her whatever she decides is fine.. she just needs to make a decision...

What am I supposed to think/do?
There are two schools of thought on this one, sac.

1. Get out.

2. Get you, you idiot.
 
B

BeDJ

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sacgrad said:
I went out on date 3 with this girl. We make out, she enjoys it. We spend 4 hours together and then when she's leaving, I asked to be invited to her house.. she said "Im still not sure yet.. about the sexual chemistry". I dont feel the sexual tension but so love hanging out with you". Then says "I am very selective and you are an awesome guy - but I need some time". She also said " I need to talk to my friend & guide". This seemed a bit weird. I told her that this decision should be hers. Also told her whatever she decides is fine.. she just needs to make a decision...

What am I supposed to think/do?
She is giving you all the reasons not to have sex with you. When you guys eventually have sex, it will be happening on HER terms. She is using SEX to CONTROL the relationship. Single mothers are not a dumb as some may have you believe. They know what they want and are ferocious.

As a MAN, you will walk away if your sexual needs are unfulfilled. You have to subtly convey this to her by refusing to hang out next time to asks, not responding to her messages, pretty much give off the impression that YOU have OTHER women to fulfill your sexual needs. Until she sees that, she will use SEX to control YOU.

sacgrad said:
This seemed a bit weird. I told her that this decision should be hers. Also told her whatever she decides is fine.. she just needs to make a decision...
I nearly fvcking threw up.
 

LorenzoVonM

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sacgrad said:
I went out on date 3 with this girl. We make out, she enjoys it. We spend 4 hours together and then when she's leaving, I asked to be invited to her house.. she said "Im still not sure yet.. about the sexual chemistry". I dont feel the sexual tension but so love hanging out with you". Then says "I am very selective and you are an awesome guy - but I need some time". She also said " I need to talk to my friend & guide". This seemed a bit weird. I told her that this decision should be hers. Also told her whatever she decides is fine.. she just needs to make a decision...

What am I supposed to think/do?
WHY WHY WHY did you go out on another date? Dinner, her house or yours. What are you afraid of? You are operating under the AFC notion that girls need to be wined and dined before they give it up. GIRLS JUST WANT TO BANG!!!! They want to BANG the RIGHT guy though. These formalities are for you. If they are not BANGING, you are the WRONG guy. You could have bypassed all this horseshvt, not wasted 4 hours, and known what this girl was all about.

Now look where you are. No power, confused about what to do next, and in the process of being friendzoned.

"I dont feel the sexual tension but so love hanging out with you"

Translation - You don't make my pvssy tingle but I will keep hanging out with you for attention and free dinner dates. You will never bang me though.

What she said was complete garbage. WHAT THE FVCK DOES SHE NEED TIME FOR? SHE KNOWS ALREADY!! She is milking you for more dates. She is using her pvssy like a carrot on a stick. She is either attracted to you or she isn't. Simple. Sexual Chemistry? Ummmm...you have to have sex to actually determine if you have sexual chemistry.

NEXT THIS B1TCH!!!! PLEASE!!!

I'm gonna breathe now. Sorry, I just don't like to see guys put through the wringer. She is playing you. She knows what she is doing. I hate her and I don't even know her.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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disgustipated

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Per Rollo, sex is not a negotiation. She has made her poosy the prize. You're playing in her frame now.

Run away. Or, play along and hit it once HARD then bounce.
 

sacgrad

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Thanks - if shes making pvssy the prize, I kind of get it - but I have a feeling its more fvcked up than that - "I am not feeling sexual tension", "I will ask a friend to understand where this is going" - these words she used was the ridiculous part...

For the record - she paid for this date... and making out was fun... we kissed a dozen times atleast...
I have moved on and am dating other women... but if I get the opportunity to bang her.. it will be a big BANG

Until then - no calls, or texts.. and if she does not either - then its her loss...
 

disgustipated

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I think you're making the right call. Over a year ago I dated a girl briefly, 3 dates. I felt things were progressing naturally but only because of me. First date light kino, iniated by me. Second date she greets me with big kiss....we sit next to each other with heavy kino. Third date, odd....dinner followed by a stop by at a adult sex store...naturally I'm getting worked up....followed by a movie at her sisters place with me iniatating kino.again...very little reciprocation.

I had to eject after that. The girl was just not into me or everything was going to be on her terms, her frame. Can you imagine what a production sex would've been like if I had stuck around to get it. Probably like once a week and penciled into her monthly planner. Withholding for too long very early sets a future precedent that I want no part of. Seriously read Rollo's post about sex not being a negotiation. Just stay reasonable about things, don't bounce on a girl if she don't put out first night. But I'd say if there are strong indications that she wants to.fuuck you by the second date (she can still hold out on 2nd date) , then somethings off.
 

sacgrad

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I get the whole second date/ third date guidance - which has worked for me.. however, does a girl's expectations of a second/third date differ based on intellect?

Example - I will be going on a date with a bartender (never dated one before) next week - will she be more open to having sex on date 1 vs a PHD / scientist or an ER nurse etc...

Also - does making a move to kiss a girl on date 1 turn her off if she's not into kissing on date 1?
 
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