She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
There are two schools of thought on this one, sac.sacgrad said:I went out on date 3 with this girl. We make out, she enjoys it. We spend 4 hours together and then when she's leaving, I asked to be invited to her house.. she said "Im still not sure yet.. about the sexual chemistry". I dont feel the sexual tension but so love hanging out with you". Then says "I am very selective and you are an awesome guy - but I need some time". She also said " I need to talk to my friend & guide". This seemed a bit weird. I told her that this decision should be hers. Also told her whatever she decides is fine.. she just needs to make a decision...
What am I supposed to think/do?
She is giving you all the reasons not to have sex with you. When you guys eventually have sex, it will be happening on HER terms. She is using SEX to CONTROL the relationship. Single mothers are not a dumb as some may have you believe. They know what they want and are ferocious.sacgrad said:I went out on date 3 with this girl. We make out, she enjoys it. We spend 4 hours together and then when she's leaving, I asked to be invited to her house.. she said "Im still not sure yet.. about the sexual chemistry". I dont feel the sexual tension but so love hanging out with you". Then says "I am very selective and you are an awesome guy - but I need some time". She also said " I need to talk to my friend & guide". This seemed a bit weird. I told her that this decision should be hers. Also told her whatever she decides is fine.. she just needs to make a decision...
What am I supposed to think/do?
I nearly fvcking threw up.sacgrad said:This seemed a bit weird. I told her that this decision should be hers. Also told her whatever she decides is fine.. she just needs to make a decision...
WHY WHY WHY did you go out on another date? Dinner, her house or yours. What are you afraid of? You are operating under the AFC notion that girls need to be wined and dined before they give it up. GIRLS JUST WANT TO BANG!!!! They want to BANG the RIGHT guy though. These formalities are for you. If they are not BANGING, you are the WRONG guy. You could have bypassed all this horseshvt, not wasted 4 hours, and known what this girl was all about.sacgrad said:I went out on date 3 with this girl. We make out, she enjoys it. We spend 4 hours together and then when she's leaving, I asked to be invited to her house.. she said "Im still not sure yet.. about the sexual chemistry". I dont feel the sexual tension but so love hanging out with you". Then says "I am very selective and you are an awesome guy - but I need some time". She also said " I need to talk to my friend & guide". This seemed a bit weird. I told her that this decision should be hers. Also told her whatever she decides is fine.. she just needs to make a decision...
What am I supposed to think/do?
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.