"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Sexual Chemistry - help!
- Thread starter sacgrad
- Start date
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
I went out on date 3 with this girl. We make out, she enjoys it. We spend 4 hours together and then when she's leaving, I asked to be invited to her house.. she said "Im still not sure yet.. about the sexual chemistry". I dont feel the sexual tension but so love hanging out with you". Then says "I am very selective and you are an awesome guy - but I need some time". She also said " I need to talk to my friend & guide". This seemed a bit weird. I told her that this decision should be hers. Also told her whatever she decides is fine.. she just needs to make a decision...
What am I supposed to think/do?
What am I supposed to think/do?
There are two schools of thought on this one, sac.sacgrad said:I went out on date 3 with this girl. We make out, she enjoys it. We spend 4 hours together and then when she's leaving, I asked to be invited to her house.. she said "Im still not sure yet.. about the sexual chemistry". I dont feel the sexual tension but so love hanging out with you". Then says "I am very selective and you are an awesome guy - but I need some time". She also said " I need to talk to my friend & guide". This seemed a bit weird. I told her that this decision should be hers. Also told her whatever she decides is fine.. she just needs to make a decision...
What am I supposed to think/do?
1. Get out.
2. Get you, you idiot.
B
BeDJ
Guest
She is giving you all the reasons not to have sex with you. When you guys eventually have sex, it will be happening on HER terms. She is using SEX to CONTROL the relationship. Single mothers are not a dumb as some may have you believe. They know what they want and are ferocious.sacgrad said:I went out on date 3 with this girl. We make out, she enjoys it. We spend 4 hours together and then when she's leaving, I asked to be invited to her house.. she said "Im still not sure yet.. about the sexual chemistry". I dont feel the sexual tension but so love hanging out with you". Then says "I am very selective and you are an awesome guy - but I need some time". She also said " I need to talk to my friend & guide". This seemed a bit weird. I told her that this decision should be hers. Also told her whatever she decides is fine.. she just needs to make a decision...
What am I supposed to think/do?
As a MAN, you will walk away if your sexual needs are unfulfilled. You have to subtly convey this to her by refusing to hang out next time to asks, not responding to her messages, pretty much give off the impression that YOU have OTHER women to fulfill your sexual needs. Until she sees that, she will use SEX to control YOU.
I nearly fvcking threw up.sacgrad said:This seemed a bit weird. I told her that this decision should be hers. Also told her whatever she decides is fine.. she just needs to make a decision...
LorenzoVonM
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jun 18, 2013
- Messages
- 191
- Reaction score
- 16
WHY WHY WHY did you go out on another date? Dinner, her house or yours. What are you afraid of? You are operating under the AFC notion that girls need to be wined and dined before they give it up. GIRLS JUST WANT TO BANG!!!! They want to BANG the RIGHT guy though. These formalities are for you. If they are not BANGING, you are the WRONG guy. You could have bypassed all this horseshvt, not wasted 4 hours, and known what this girl was all about.sacgrad said:I went out on date 3 with this girl. We make out, she enjoys it. We spend 4 hours together and then when she's leaving, I asked to be invited to her house.. she said "Im still not sure yet.. about the sexual chemistry". I dont feel the sexual tension but so love hanging out with you". Then says "I am very selective and you are an awesome guy - but I need some time". She also said " I need to talk to my friend & guide". This seemed a bit weird. I told her that this decision should be hers. Also told her whatever she decides is fine.. she just needs to make a decision...
What am I supposed to think/do?
Now look where you are. No power, confused about what to do next, and in the process of being friendzoned.
"I dont feel the sexual tension but so love hanging out with you"
Translation - You don't make my pvssy tingle but I will keep hanging out with you for attention and free dinner dates. You will never bang me though.
What she said was complete garbage. WHAT THE FVCK DOES SHE NEED TIME FOR? SHE KNOWS ALREADY!! She is milking you for more dates. She is using her pvssy like a carrot on a stick. She is either attracted to you or she isn't. Simple. Sexual Chemistry? Ummmm...you have to have sex to actually determine if you have sexual chemistry.
NEXT THIS B1TCH!!!! PLEASE!!!
I'm gonna breathe now. Sorry, I just don't like to see guys put through the wringer. She is playing you. She knows what she is doing. I hate her and I don't even know her.
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
disgustipated
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 11, 2011
- Messages
- 508
- Reaction score
- 28
Per Rollo, sex is not a negotiation. She has made her poosy the prize. You're playing in her frame now.
Run away. Or, play along and hit it once HARD then bounce.
Run away. Or, play along and hit it once HARD then bounce.
Thanks - if shes making pvssy the prize, I kind of get it - but I have a feeling its more fvcked up than that - "I am not feeling sexual tension", "I will ask a friend to understand where this is going" - these words she used was the ridiculous part...
For the record - she paid for this date... and making out was fun... we kissed a dozen times atleast...
I have moved on and am dating other women... but if I get the opportunity to bang her.. it will be a big BANG
Until then - no calls, or texts.. and if she does not either - then its her loss...
For the record - she paid for this date... and making out was fun... we kissed a dozen times atleast...
I have moved on and am dating other women... but if I get the opportunity to bang her.. it will be a big BANG
Until then - no calls, or texts.. and if she does not either - then its her loss...
disgustipated
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 11, 2011
- Messages
- 508
- Reaction score
- 28
I think you're making the right call. Over a year ago I dated a girl briefly, 3 dates. I felt things were progressing naturally but only because of me. First date light kino, iniated by me. Second date she greets me with big kiss....we sit next to each other with heavy kino. Third date, odd....dinner followed by a stop by at a adult sex store...naturally I'm getting worked up....followed by a movie at her sisters place with me iniatating kino.again...very little reciprocation.
I had to eject after that. The girl was just not into me or everything was going to be on her terms, her frame. Can you imagine what a production sex would've been like if I had stuck around to get it. Probably like once a week and penciled into her monthly planner. Withholding for too long very early sets a future precedent that I want no part of. Seriously read Rollo's post about sex not being a negotiation. Just stay reasonable about things, don't bounce on a girl if she don't put out first night. But I'd say if there are strong indications that she wants to.fuuck you by the second date (she can still hold out on 2nd date) , then somethings off.
I had to eject after that. The girl was just not into me or everything was going to be on her terms, her frame. Can you imagine what a production sex would've been like if I had stuck around to get it. Probably like once a week and penciled into her monthly planner. Withholding for too long very early sets a future precedent that I want no part of. Seriously read Rollo's post about sex not being a negotiation. Just stay reasonable about things, don't bounce on a girl if she don't put out first night. But I'd say if there are strong indications that she wants to.fuuck you by the second date (she can still hold out on 2nd date) , then somethings off.
I get the whole second date/ third date guidance - which has worked for me.. however, does a girl's expectations of a second/third date differ based on intellect?
Example - I will be going on a date with a bartender (never dated one before) next week - will she be more open to having sex on date 1 vs a PHD / scientist or an ER nurse etc...
Also - does making a move to kiss a girl on date 1 turn her off if she's not into kissing on date 1?
Example - I will be going on a date with a bartender (never dated one before) next week - will she be more open to having sex on date 1 vs a PHD / scientist or an ER nurse etc...
Also - does making a move to kiss a girl on date 1 turn her off if she's not into kissing on date 1?